Year abroad with friends

[tenchi-fan]

I booked a flight to Australia and I plan to fly to Cairns, work there a while and then make my way to Sydney using buses/hostels. The return flight is a year later.

My friend had been planning to go to Oz since last December and I was talking about going with him, but eventually decided to go on my own because he has to get his own way all the time, and is far too set in his ways. I pretty much palled around with him since I was 17 (24 now). I went on a holiday with him and some other guys last summer and didn't enjoy it at all.

My life is fairly stagnant at the moment and that's why I quit work to go to Australia. I suppose I could do with meeting a few new people and do my own thing.

Anyway, since I booked my friend is pretty determined to meet me over there (a few weeks later) and then follow my plans exactly. He'll be going over with another friend of mine who more or less sees where I'm coming from when I said I'd prefer to go on my own.

The problem is with my first friend (who I sorta would consider a best friend despite what I wrote in this post). How does one go about saying "oh, by the way I don't want you with me in Australia"? It sounds a bit harsh!

 

[Kell_ee001]

Agree to meet up for a little while but explain this is something you feel you need to alone. As long as he realises it's not about being without him, it's about being without anybody - he should be fine with it

 

[Sic]

sounds like a toughie. you could give him a dose of his own...meet up in a place that you're not planning on staying for too long, and if he's still the same as he was (i.e. not willing to at least compromise on plans and stuff), just give him the slip and go where you want. obviously tell the guy that empathises with you that you're off.

 

[tenchi-fan]

Thanks for the feedback - I think I know I'll have to just tell him!
I think I'll play it by ear to begin with though - I'll arrive in Cairns, see how things are going (work/socialising/etc) and if I'm happy enough without friends from back home I'll just tell them straight, otherwise I might be glad of them.

It will be kinda strange though that we'll be going to the same places just at different times, because he likes by my itinerary and is sorta basing his plans on it.

One huge problem that would arise is I will be on an extremely tight budget (less than £2000 for Australia) as I'm stopping in HK and Bali and I'm not a good saver (in fact I'm an extremely bad saver- I'll be lucky to have any money going over as I'll prob spend it all in the next two weeks!). My friend will have around £7000 saved and will want to spend it all in big splurges!

On the holiday last summer I was just finished college and had pretty much no money, he knew that, but still insisted on going to the most expensive restaurants and day trips. Even when booking the holiday I found a few bargains for around €400, but he insisted on booking one for €560 which was reduced to €420 the following day!

So obviously, I don't want to have any regrets about Australia so if I go it alone I won't have any one to fall out with!

 

[Superdude]

Travelling on your own > Travelling with friends

Friends just get in the way of what you want to do, making the trip a lot less enjoyable. I was going to go to Amsterdam with a friend for a few weeks after uni but he pulled out. I've decided to go anyway and I can see myself having a much better time on my own.

I like to visit the museums and such and all he wants to do it party and get high. I'm still going to party but in my own time and hopefully will meet other people.

Don't worry about friendships back home, you will make loads of new friends in Aus. Just tell him that you would like to meet up but not to spend the next year with him.

 

[Superdude]

On the holiday last summer I was just finished college and had pretty much no money, he knew that, but still insisted on going to the most expensive restaurants and day trips. Even when booking the holiday I found a few bargains for around €400, but he insisted on booking one for €560 which was reduced to €420 the following day!

Ha, thats what my friend wanted to do. Get a hotel room which would cost us £50 a night with no bar or other travellers. Said he hates hostels, which is rubbish because I know for a fact he has never been in one.

I'm now staying in a hostle for £10 a night complete with 24 beds all together, a 24 hour bar and a coffee house two doors down.

Then I mentioned that I might travel to paris afterwards and he was expecting us to get to get the most comfatable train there and stay in an even more expensive hotel.

He calls that travelling, I call that boredom. I want the rubbish hostels and transport. Saves more money for drink and overall a much better time.