How to speak Essex (innit)

Soldato
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Essex, innit?
For all you weirdos that don;t understand us propa' people:

alma chizzit - A request to find the cost of an item

amant - Quantity; sum total ("Thez a yuge amant of mud in Saffend")

assband - Unable to leave the house because of illness, disability etc

awss - A four legged animal, on which money is won, or more likely lost ("That awss ya tipped cost me a fiver t'day")

branna - More brown than on a previous occasion ("Ere, Trace, ya look branna today, ave you been on sunbed?")

cort a panda - A rather large hamburger

dan in the maff - Unhappy ("Wossmatta, Trace, ya look a bit dan in the maff")

eye-eels - Women's shoes

Furrock - The location of Lakeside Shopping Centre (where you are likely to find GSXRMoviestar lurking)

garrij - A building where a car is kept or repaired(Trace: "Oi, Darren, I fink the motah needs ta go in the garrij cos it aint working proper")

Ibeefa - Balaeric holiday island

lafarjik - Lacking in energy ("I feel all lafarjik")

oi oi! - Traditional greeting. Often heard from the doorway of pubs or during banging dance tunes at clubs

paipa - The Sun, The Mirror or The Sport

reband - The period of recovery and emotional turmoil after rejection by a lover ("I couldn't elp it, I wuz on the reband from Craig")

Saffend - Essex coastal resort boasting the longest pleasure pier in the world. The place where the characters from TV's, popular soap opera, Eastenders go on holiday

tan - The city of London, the big smoke

webbats - Querying the location something or someone is. ("Webbats is me dole card Trace? I've gotta sign on in arf hour")

wonnid - 1. Desired, needed. 2. Wanted by the police

zaggerate - To suggest that something is bigger or better than it actually is. ("I told ya a fazzand times already")
 
Associate
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My singer is from essex, and you can reall hear it in her singing and she has got me saying "isnt it" at the end of every sentence.

Also when she talks about our slow song she calls it a "ballard" and not a "ballad" that is just silly!
 
Associate
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Funnily enough, having been born in essex and spending 18 years here, i dont think i speak a single one of those terms in that way. Im sure though if i went to Clacton i would pick it up pretty quick :D
 
Soldato
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Bigger box!
Spread the word brother!! Essex is where it's at :D

Off the top of my head, me, mohinder, Mc Daniel, GSXRMovistar and now apparently pebbles too are from the promised land so don't mess.
We're taking over, judgement day is fast approuching so all thos of you who are unworthy.

Baa Daan innit

Edit: Huddy too :) Solidarity brother
 
Associate
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Kent
That's not Essex talk it's Chatham chavvie talk innit bruv :)

I work in a prison and the phrase that keeps on coming up when they are talking about getting out at the end of their sentence is 'on road', as in 'I'm gonna visit my boys when I get back on road'. So that's another lot of slang to add to Essex/Kent talk.
 
Soldato
OP
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22 Oct 2002
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Essex, innit?
Chris [BEANS] said:
Spread the word brother!! Essex is where it's at :D

Off the top of my head, me, mohinder, Mc Daniel, GSXRMovistar and now apparently pebbles too are from the promised land so don't mess.
We're taking over, judgement day is fast approuching so all thos of you who are unworthy.

Baa Daaninnit

innit
 
Soldato
OP
Joined
22 Oct 2002
Posts
6,553
Location
Essex, innit?
CChrisca said:
That's not Essex talk it's Chatham chavvie talk innit bruv :)

I work in a prison and the phrase that keeps on coming up when they are talking about getting out at the end of their sentence is 'on road', as in 'I'm gonna visit my boys when I get back on road'. So that's another lot of slang to add to Essex/Kent talk.

aaaw, that just reminds me of The Littlest Hobo.
 
Soldato
Joined
15 Aug 2003
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19,916
Location
Essex
Chris [BEANS] said:
Spread the word brother!! Essex is where it's at :D

Off the top of my head, me, mohinder, Mc Daniel, GSXRMovistar and now apparently pebbles too are from the promised land so don't mess.
We're taking over, judgement day is fast approuching so all thos of you who are unworthy.

Baa Daan innit

Edit: Huddy too :) Solidarity brother

whats the with space Mc Daniel?

:p

I was abused on xbox live the other day for my accent, because apparantly i was too well spoken :D lol
 
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