Thursday joke....it's possibly a goodun!

Soldato
Joined
2 Mar 2004
Posts
11,910
Location
SE England
A woman goes into Harrods to buy a fishing rod and reel for her grandson's
birthday. She doesn't know which one to get, so she just grabs one and goes
over to the counter. The Harrods salesman is standing there, wearing dark
shades.

She says, "Excuse me. Can you tell me anything about this fishing rod and
reel?"

He says, "Madam, I'm completely blind; but, if you'll drop it on the
counter, I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound
it makes."

She doesn't believe him but drops it on the counter anyway.

He says, "That's a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel
and 10-lb. test line. It's a good all around combination, and it's on sale
this week for £44."

She says, "It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it
dropping on the counter. I'll take it!"

As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor.

"Oh, that sounds like a Visa card," he says.

As the lady bends down to pick up the card, she accidentally farts.

At first she is really embarrassed but then realises there is no way the
blind salesman could tell it was she who had farted.

The man rings up the sale and says "That'll be £58.50 please." The woman is
totally confused by this and asks "Didn't you tell me it was on sale for
£44? How did you get to £58.50?"

He replies, "Yes Madam, the rod and reel are £44, but the Duck Caller is £11
and the Fish Bait is £3.50."

:D
 
Soldato
Joined
23 Oct 2002
Posts
5,719
Location
Various
A man has great tickets for the World Cup Final. As he sits down, another man comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in the empty seat next to him.
"No," he says. "The seat is empty."

"This is incredible!" says the other man.

"Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the World Cup Final, the biggest sporting event, and not use it?"

"Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. My wife was supposed to come with me, but she passed away. This is the first World Cup Final we haven't been to together since we got married."

"Oh , I'm sorry to hear that...that's terrible. But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbour to take the
seat?"

The man shakes his head. "No, they're all at the funeral."
 
Associate
Joined
27 Jan 2003
Posts
1,526
Location
Bristol
Michael Owen goes into a nightclub in Germany walks straight up to a girl and says "get your coat you're coming back to my hotel room" Girl says "My your a little forward"

Man rings up his mate and says "Ive won 6 tickets to all englands world cup games for me and five mates. As your a mate, would you mind putting my bin out next Friday?"

Boom boom tish!
 
Soldato
Joined
12 Apr 2004
Posts
11,788
Location
Somewhere
Grrrrr said:
A man has great tickets for the World Cup Final. As he sits down, another man comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in the empty seat next to him.
"No," he says. "The seat is empty."

"This is incredible!" says the other man.

"Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the World Cup Final, the biggest sporting event, and not use it?"

"Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. My wife was supposed to come with me, but she passed away. This is the first World Cup Final we haven't been to together since we got married."

"Oh , I'm sorry to hear that...that's terrible. But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbour to take the
seat?"

The man shakes his head. "No, they're all at the funeral."
Oh so true :p
 
Associate
Joined
11 Apr 2006
Posts
1,858
Location
London
Grrrrr said:
A man has great tickets for the World Cup Final. As he sits down, another man comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in the empty seat next to him.
"No," he says. "The seat is empty."

"This is incredible!" says the other man.

"Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the World Cup Final, the biggest sporting event, and not use it?"

"Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. My wife was supposed to come with me, but she passed away. This is the first World Cup Final we haven't been to together since we got married."

"Oh , I'm sorry to hear that...that's terrible. But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbour to take the
seat?"

The man shakes his head. "No, they're all at the funeral."

Haha :D What I would do.
 
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