What do you do on the morning of your wedding?

Soldato
Joined
13 Jan 2003
Posts
23,666
Well... shoplift that's what!

I've just come back from one other funniest weddings I've been to which makes up for the lackluster stag do the night before :D

We all wake up and feel fine, with nowt todo... so the groom, Shane, decides he's going to play a prank on the saturday staff (he owns the business). So he phones up the shop manager Gavin who's currently working preparing the new shop and tells him the plan.. So we have out jeans and t-shirts on and in the car on the way there, we discuss with Shane the shop layout and shane gives some good subjects.

So I'll introduce the usual suspects...
Me (6'4 , slim build) - decoy and ask the saturday shop assistant questions..
The best man, Rob T (short, stocky/muscular build) - to be the blatent "unplug a TFT from the display and walk out of the shop with it" theif..
Rob G (6,4, heavy/muscular build) - to be the easy theif.
Shane would wait in the car out of view..

Gavin makes his excuses about some paper work to return and sit in the back of the old shop.. The unsuspecting victim - Alastair, the saturday shop assistant is sat behind the counter..

The three theives walk into the shop looking like we're casing the joint.. I head directly to the assistant as planned to act as decoy..

"Hi mate, I hear you have some dual core stuff?" ... and the assistant starts showing me an X3800 system... and we start talking about it.

RobG starts browsing the small bits and RobT wanders over to the machine on display in the window and starts looking at it.

I notice the shop assistant looking distracted so I ask another dumb question: "So does dual core make the internet twice as fast?"

RobT by this time is attempting to unscrew the cables from the TFT.. RobG picks up a nice collection of small objects from the display. RobT gives up on the TFT as the cables are screwed in too well.. and wanders over to the other side of the shop, picks up the HTPC and starts examining it to check it's not plugged in.
Cue RobG walks and then runs out the shop... closesly followed by RobT strolling out with the HTPC under his arm..
Meanwhile I stay in the shop next to the dual core system to make it hard for the assistant to simply run out leaving me next to some more costly goods..

The assist, looking a little shocked politely says to me "Sorry can you hang on a sec.".. starts talking to Gavin in the office..

"Bleeding heck lad - you'd better run after them." I hear from the office in supprised urgent tone.

The assistant run out of the shop.. Gavin appears grinning and we stand there trying to keep a straight face.

Alastair, mild mannered and rather stressed shop assistance runs back in - "They gone!", Gavin runs out and a few minutes pass and Gavin appears back in the shop.

"That'll be coming out of your pay lad. What did they take?"

Alastair looks very shocked..

"You'd better phone Shane lad and say what's happened, use the phone in the office."

So Gavin stays out in the shop and Alastair goes into the office.. I hear a garbled phone conversation.

RobT and RobG at this point saunter back in with the goods but Alastair can't see this from the office.

Alastair then appears at the office door, halfway through a sentance "Shane said ..." and we're all sat there laughing our asses off. :D

Just then Shane wanders in with a big grin and says to Alastair "You should see your face!".

We go into the the office and Shane plays it back from the CCTV.. Tears streaming down his face in laughter as he gets to see everything on the multiple CCTV cameras.


Although cruel. Alastair/Gavin/Shane etc has some real training, the footage is being burnt to CD so they can use it for training other staff. The positioning of some items will be changed to prevent easy thieft too.

Fun over, we took Shane to get married.. and in the evening bash Shane had invited Gavin and Alastair too. Shane then told Lisa (the bride)..
 
Last edited:
Man of Honour
Joined
17 Oct 2002
Posts
159,616
I'd laugh if next somebody somebody pinched anything the assistant laughed at them and said 'Not again lads' and watched them walk out with all the stuff :p
 
Soldato
Joined
18 Oct 2002
Posts
2,716
Location
Royston, Herts
Well, I'm disappointed. Not by the prank but by the fact that my expectations (based on the title) of reading some Alpha's reply saying "My fiancee. Grrrr!!!!!!" were not met. :)
 
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