Girl/Friend problem

[M0T]

I was drunk so I let her talk to me. I wound her up because I felt that after putting me through this she deserved it. I just sent her one last message because she got the wrong idea about why I was talking to her, she thought I wanted to be friends with her again. I just sent:

'I don't think you are being honest with me about your reasons for not wanting to go out with me and to be fair it doesn't really matter because we cannot be friends'

I thought I should try to be nice in the last message to avoid her sending me angry texts and getting me wound up again.

 

[malolo]

Problem is you're still giving her attention even if it's not the positive sort, depending on how her mind works she'll still see it as a good thing.

Don't worry about being nice to her so she doesn't send you nasty texts, just laugh about them if she does stoop to that level because ignoring her is going to wind her up a lot more than anything you could say.

 

[M0T]

Yeah now I think about it, losing the friendship in the first place was no great loss.

She wanted me when we first met (she denies this now obviously) and I wasn't ready for a relationship. So she stopped talking to me for ages, and treated me like dirt but then came back to me and did the whole friends thing. Now she has done this, I wouldn't be suprised if she just ends up alone in the end.

Whats more gay is that I have a fanclub of 16 year old girls after me, but thats too young. Also my older sisters mate fancies me but she is too tall.

 

[malolo]

You have to make sure that you don't go round in circles because the chances are that in a few months time you'll find yourself in the exact same situation.

 

[M0T]

I think the problem I am always going to have with this girl is that even when she was telling me she didn't want me I didn't believe her because it is out of character, and she said a lot of things that contradicted herself in that conversation and things she had said previously.

So I will probably always have a weakness if she comes back and says she wants to talk or see me or something, which I why I really don't want to hear from her again.

 

[malolo]

If she comes back and starts all this again you just have to keep reminding yourself about this and asking yourself why you'd want to be with someone who thinks little enough of you to play games like that. Easier said than done but that's when mates come in handy.

 

[M0T]

Just one thing I remembered thats just got right on my wick.

We watched Napoleon Dynamite the other day and at the end of the film she asked me if I had ever thought of drawing a girl a picture to get her to be a girlfriend. I replied and said 'sure I'll draw a picture of you' she gave me this huge smile, then every other time I saw her she asked me for the picture of her.

Also the other day I said the only first aid I knew was the recovery position and mouth to mouth, so she pretended to pass out so I said I would have to do mouth to mouth, she got up and giggled. Later on she did the same thing, except this time she didn't move when I went to give her the mouth to mouth and it was only her sister coming home that stopped me kissing her.

I think had we gone on any longer like that something would have happened and then I would be worse off because I think she would have later decided no.

 

[malolo]

Sounds like you've been providing her with that feel good factor and you've been proof that there's nothing wrong with her and she could have you if she wanted which would tie in with the fact you think someone else rejected her.

Sooner you get her out of your system the better by the sound of it.

 

[Raymond Lin]

Just one thing I remembered thats just got right on my wick.

We watched Napoleon Dynamite the other day and at the end of the film she asked me if I had ever thought of drawing a girl a picture to get her to be a girlfriend. I replied and said 'sure I'll draw a picture of you' she gave me this huge smile, then every other time I saw her she asked me for the picture of her.

Also the other day I said the only first aid I knew was the recovery position and mouth to mouth, so she pretended to pass out so I said I would have to do mouth to mouth, she got up and giggled. Later on she did the same thing, except this time she didn't move when I went to give her the mouth to mouth and it was only her sister coming home that stopped me kissing her.

I think had we gone on any longer like that something would have happened and then I would be worse off because I think she would have later decided no.

She either seriously wanting the attention and the feeling of being wanted or she really digs you. ASK her out already !

 

[ob1]

Sounds like she just liked flirting but didnt seriously like you (like that), mean but I dont think she meant to be really

 

[M0T]

Sounds like she just liked flirting but didnt seriously like you (like that), mean but I dont think she meant to be really

Mate I think it goes beyond flirting when someone tells you they want to sleep with you, which is what she did. We had a conversation when and she said something that meant that. I thought I had read wrong so I asked her and she said thats what she meant. It was later on she sent me the message that said she had a thing for me.

The next day I went round and we went to the park and played some sport then got really close, got back to hers and she went funny. I did ask her what was up with that and she just said she was tired, she also admitted that she asked me round again on friday because she wanted to be with me, but then later realised that there were too many people and she wouldnt get to be alone with me.

I really thought when I told her how I felt that she would just say she felt the same but hadn't wanted to say anything because we were friends and she didn't want to ruin it.

 

[RameY]

Make a move and see how she reacts, just a straight out move. If she reacts in a happy way, then you know she likes you in that way, if she acts in a diffrent way - she just wants attention. Best thing I can think of right now for you after reading whole thread. Good luck. You've got not much to loose anyway.

 

[daveyj27]

OP, listen closely, keep an open mind and try not to get angry.

You say that you're still contacting her so that you can tell her how badly she has treated you, and that it's to make you feel better. I'm calling BS to that i'm afraid.
Is it not possible that, probably subconsciously, you are having such a hard time with the thought of never seeing or speaking to her again that you are merely using these "telling it like it is" conversations to have an excuse to speak with her? Inside, you think that you are giving yourself closure and a big pat on the back for setting the record straight.
Unfortunately, you are closing nothing.
As has already been mentioned, you ARE still giving her attention and I bet you that she is relishing every single moment of it. You ARE a doormat, and she IS an attention-seeking brat (i'm sorry if that offends you, but it's true) who is walking all over you. She knows that she can string you along and then have you run to her side at the merest click of her fingers, usually when she feels a little low. Your feelings do NOT matter to her, no matter what she tries to say to the contrary, because you are just a living and breathing comfortor blanket. If she feels depressed and unloved, all she has to do is contact you and BAM!!!...she'll get what she needs and leave you empty.

You NEED to cut contact COMPLETELY. No more phonecalls, no more visits. If need be, you hang up on without even saying a word if she phones you.
You need to get your life back, and then take full control over it. She is not going to be a helpful person to have around mate, that much is obvious.

It's your life and it's your call.

 

[Spacky]

Dude you can't satisfy an attention whore, tbh thats my impression of her and this situation.

Sandi Shaw springs to mind.

I wonder if one day that, you'll say that, you care
If you say you love me madly, I'll gladly, be there
Like a puppet on a string

 

[The Bear]

Also my older sisters mate fancies me but she is too tall.

Firstly LOL

Secondly, dude you really need to stop talking to her. Its no excuse to get drunk and maybe have the chance to get into the sack, someone above mentioned that your still giving her attention no matter what kind. For your sanity and also ours

Stop seeing this girl!!!

 

[Mr Mag00]

Jeez give it up. you post on here for advice......
TAKE IT
sorry to sound harsh, but you are going nowhere, you are upsetting yourself!

 

[Spacky]

I say M0T you post pics of this girl, then we will tell you if you're wasting your time or not.

TTIUWOP

 

[daveyj27]

I say M0T you post pics of this girl, then we will tell you if you're wasting your time or not.

It wouldn't matter to me if she was truly a stunner, a timewaster is still a timewaster and needs to be ignored to hell and back. There's nothing like lack of attention to bring an attention-seeker crashing down back to Earth.

Sadly, in this case, I don't think that will happen.

 

[Spacky]

It wouldn't matter to me if she was truly a stunner, a timewaster is still a timewaster and needs to be ignored to hell and back. There's nothing like lack of attention to bring an attention-seeker crashing down back to Earth.

Sadly, in this case, I don't think that will happen.

Attention Whores love taking pics and posing like a fairy, has to be done!

Plus it adds some perspective to this thread.

 

[M0T]

Perhaps I should put a burning bag of poo through her letter box...