Bullies

[t31os]

I'm sure many people here have read or heard on the news about the problem with bullies in schools.

I had a small problem myself when i was younger, which wasnt such a big deal, but its not nice for the person at the receiving end. My brother also became a target which as in my own experience and my brothers the school did next to nothing and were useless in providing a solution, and this is the Winston Churchill School which is apparently one of the good ones.

In short nothing worked, so myself plus one of my friends grabbed one of my brothers bullies and told him to pass on a message to his mates and consider himself. I don't need to tell you what was said, but he was clearly told that its not in his interest to terrorize my brother. No we didnt kick his teeth in or threaten to kill him, but it was enough in the sense that he never got bullied again.

With all that said, literally 10-15 mins ago 2 kids 14 maybe 15yrs old out the back of where i live, 1 kid insisting he hand over his phone and following him, this soon turned to the kid being put to the floor and wrestling for his phone.

I couldnt watch and do nothing so i ran out and confronted the attacker. The guy said nothing and walked away, didnt look like he wanted to confront me (i'm a tad bigger then the victim). The victim at this point was partly in tears and quite afraid because he's a bus journey from home and this other kid is waiting for him. So i bring inside and tell him to ring someone to pick him up. Whilst waiting i couldnt help but inquire as to if he knows the other kid, and it turns out this other guy (who no longer turns up for school) was once his best mate, but no longer friends (story unknown) but seems to think he can take his phone to sell for cash.

So naturally i ask him if he's gonna report the guy or talk to the school.

Nope.
and nope.

During this child sitting shall i say this guy has someone else ring the victim so he can talk to him, and although i can't hear the other guy, the victim is insisting he cant have the phone, so i can only speculate he's still harassing him for the phone. On top of this the kid is replying with words like " so you're gonna jack my bike and get me after school tomorrow. why? ".

I can understand a person's reluctance to report the kid since he'll only terrorized even more if he does. Which in fairness is correct in the real world.

So i saved someone for a day, come tomorrow i won't be there.

The attacker kid, i've seen around here before, so i know i can spot him again.

The problem i have is, i don't know the names of either kid, it really wasnt my business to interegate the kid when he'd just been assaulted but i did try and make sure he felt safe so didnt want to sound like an ass by being nosey. Should i leave it at that?..... what do you guys think?....

1. Reporting the kid could result in further abuse for the other child
2. I don't know the names
3. Since the kids know where i live now it could cause hassle for me and my family

Hmmmmmm can't help but feel i should do more though.

 

[Kroegen]

Its part of life. You just have to make sure you dont act stupid, or put yourself in the fireing line tbh.

 

[VIRII]

Perhaps you should call the police and get them involved.
It sounds like it would be the right thing to do.

 

[t31os]

Its part of life. You just have to make sure you dont act stupid, or put yourself in the fireing line tbh.

No problem there, i'm not a violent peson, but i'm not likely to stand/sit and watch someone get their head kicked in all the same.

Perhaps you should call the police and get them involved.
It sounds like it would be the right thing to do.

Pretty pointless unless i have names, plus it could go the other way and end up with my family getting the abuse. Not sure i wanna risk my family's safety.

 

[ins0mn1ac]

I would have phoned the police

 

[t31os]

The police are not the knights in shining armour, in situations like this its really not as simple as call them point a finger and everything gets fixed.

Like i said i have to take into account wether i'd be sacrificing my family's safety in the process.

 

[Greenlizard0]

Pretty pointless unless i have names, plus it could go the other way and end up with my family getting the abuse. Not sure i wanna risk my family's safety.

That's the biggest problem, bullies often work through their own pride and will more often than not seek revenge. I think you did the best thing by sheltering the poor lad until he got picked up

 

[VIRII]

The police are not the knights in shining armour, in situations like this its really not as simple as call them point a finger and everything gets fixed.

Like i said i have to take into account wether i'd be sacrificing my family's safety in the process.

No of course it is not as simple as calling the police and everything gets fixed.
However the police will have to speak to the boy in your house and to his school and get involved.
The alternative is that the bullies win because you fear them and the boy fears them. Right now it appears that the bullies win.

Faced with the police the victim will probably open up and he'll be thanking you for it later. Nothing gets fixed by turning a blind eye or ignoring it. You got involved and stepped in because you couldn't allow that to go on infront of you. You know it's going to continue if you don't take this further, but you also know that you won't have to witness it so can ignore it.
It is your conscience. You did the right thing before. Do it again.

 

[axe]

This is happening with my Sister. She got bullied so my mum goes to the school they do bob all other then putting my sister in a isolation room. This goes on for a Year with nothing else Happening. We ask her to go to another localish school but they say she cant because she has missed a whole year of coursework because her school didnt give her any

Now my mum is having to home Teach her

 

[VIRII]

This is happening with my Sister. She got bullied so my mum goes to the school they do bob all other then putting my sister in a isolation room. This goes on for a Year with nothing else Happening. We ask her to go to another localish school but they say she cant because she has missed a whole year of coursework because her school didnt give her any

Now my mum is having to home Teach her

How has bullying at school got to such a point whereby kids entire lives are destroyed by it, their education suffers and some even commit suicide over it?
Schools and parents need to take extremely firm action over these incidents, the rights of the offenders seem to be taken far too seriously.
Bullies should be put in isolation rooms not victims.

 

[Greenlizard0]

How has bullying at school got to such a point whereby kids entire lives are destroyed by it, their education suffers and some even commit suicide over it?
Schools and parents need to take extremely firm action over these incidents, the rights of the offenders seem to be taken far too seriously.
Bullies should be put in isolation rooms not victims.

I very much agree - childhood bullying is so much more than name teasing. The psychological long term effects are numerous and mostly very negative; from later depression to completely random effects such as turning into a bully him/herself as an adult.

It seems that bullies are far too protected these days, they should be punished for their generally awful behaviour.

 

[Borden]

I remember getting bullied in primary school. I told my parents and my dad wrote a letter to the head teacher. He pulled both me and the bully out of our lessons, sat us down and talked through what happened. It made me feel a lot better and i think it made the bully feel pretty shameful about what he'd done. He never bothered me again.

However, secondary school is a completely different matter as i'm sure that turning someone in will cause you to receive more bullying from them or their friends. Since primary school i've learnt how to avoid trouble and it's really a lot to do with the way you act. Confident people rarely have any trouble. I think you did the right thing by inviting him in, probably would have made him feel comforted.

BTW, were you talking about the Winston Churchill School in Woking? I'm in Year 11 there at the moment. Small world.

 

[t31os]

Exactly what they did with me, isolation for the victim, yeah great work school!!

The kid was only here for 10 mins till his dad picked him up, i've explained the problem to his dad, so its down to him to convince the boy to report it, i hadnt thought of that before, so now its not on my shoulders.

Ironicly, and i'm not racist its normally coloured kids attacking the other kids. Today the child getting attacked was coloured, and i think it was the biggest test for me to see if i'd really have the same passion to save a coloured person, and i whole heartedly can say i would, and just have.

His dad seemed quite shocked when he first saw me, but he was quite thankful that someone stepped in. I mean this was outside 5 or 6 houses and the kid was clearly screaming for someone to help but i seemed to be the only person to help and my house isnt even facing where it happened, i spotted it from upstairs.

I'm sure his dad will try to take it further and in fairness to them its up to them if they wish to persue the matter.

 

[t31os]

I remember getting bullied in primary school. I told my parents and my dad wrote a letter to the head teacher. He pulled both me and the bully out of our lessons, sat us down and talked through what happened. It made me feel a lot better and i think it made the bully feel pretty shameful about what he'd done. He never bothered me again.

However, secondary school is a completely different matter as i'm sure that turning someone in will cause you to receive more bullying from them or their friends. Since primary school i've learnt how to avoid trouble and it's really a lot to do with the way you act. Confident people rarely have any trouble. I think you did the right thing by inviting him in, probably would have made him feel comforted.

BTW, were you talking about the Winston Churchill School in Woking? I'm in Year 11 there at the moment. Small world.

Yeah that exact school mate, i might even know you..... though maybe not, i'm quite a bit older.

I'm on one of the Guiness trust estates, i'm sure you know it, its right off the back of the school.

 

[mattbill]

^^^I live in Byfleet right near Woking lol! I went to Bishop David Brown school, if youve ever heard of it.

Yeah, I reckon you did the right thing to split up the scuffle... I did that once, and the matey I helped didn't get picked on again lol!

 

[Borden]

Yeah that exact school mate, i might even know you..... though maybe not, i'm quite a bit older.

I'm on one of the Guiness trust estates, i'm sure you know it, its right off the back of the school.

Yeh i know where that is. I'm just down the hill, my garden fence backs onto the Robin Hood roundabout. When were you at the school?

What did the victim look like? I may know him.

It really, really annoys me the way bullies think they can just push people around. Such immature behaviour.

 

[t31os]

Well i had a knock at the door a few minutes ago.

Open the door to see a policeman stood infront of me... "Apparently you've been a witness to an attack"..... "yes thats right would like to come in"...

So tell the policeman my story, and it seems the dad did report it and the statement the victim gave said a 20yr old guy attacked him.

Suffice to say he's trying to cover for this guy for one reason or another.

The copper seemed quite reassuring that he'd say i wasnt in and another person gave a statement of what they saw.

Given my statement and the police are dealing with the matter, i think i can put myself at ease now...

 

[alexakasloth]

Bullies should be put in isolation rooms not victims.

We used to have this sort of room at my old school in the basement. They would be sent down there where there is no talking etc, sit at a table by yourself and get on with your work, and you would get an afterschool detention aswell.
In my last year it went, and was replaced with a room where these people can skive and play computer games

 

[ArmyofHarmony]

Bullying never seemed to occur in my school, and mine has a reputation of being rough, but i dont know why cause it wasnt when i was there. Then again, I think we should probably just kill off everyone born after 1989, solve a lot of problems with chavs etc.

 

[VIRII]

Bullying never seemed to occur in my school, and mine has a reputation of being rough, but i dont know why cause it wasnt when i was there. Then again, I think we should probably just kill off everyone born after 1969, solve a lot of problems with chavs etc.

Corrected.