Woo hoo my first joke (on here)

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18 Mar 2006
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A Welshman buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool.
After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting
pregnant, and phones a vet for help. The vet tells him that he should
try artificial insemination.
The farmer doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but, not
wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know
when the sheep are pregnant. The vet tells him that they will stop
standing around and instead will lie down and wallow in grass when they
are pregnant.
The man hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion
that artificial insemination means he has to impregnate the sheep
himself.
So, he loads the sheep into his Land Rover, drives them out into the
woods, has sex with them all, brings them back, and goes to bed.
Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep. Seeing that they are
all still standing around, he deduces that the first try didn't take,
and loads them in the Land Rover again. He drives them out to the woods,
bangs each sheep twice for good measure, brings them back, and goes to
bed exhausted.
Next morning, he wakes to find the sheep still just standing round.
"Try again." he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up, and drive
them out to the woods He spends all day shagging the sheep and upon
returning home, falls knackered into bed.
The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look out
of the window. He asks his wife to look, and tell him if the sheep are
lying in the grass.
"No," she says, "but they're all in the Land Rover, and one of them is
beeping the horn."
 
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Joined
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Posts
7,586
rmuir said:
A Welshman buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool.
After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting
pregnant, and phones a vet for help. The vet tells him that he should
try artificial insemination.
The farmer doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but, not
wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know
when the sheep are pregnant. The vet tells him that they will stop
standing around and instead will lie down and wallow in grass when they
are pregnant.
The man hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion
that artificial insemination means he has to impregnate the sheep
himself.
So, he loads the sheep into his Land Rover, drives them out into the
woods, has sex with them all, brings them back, and goes to bed.
Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep. Seeing that they are
all still standing around, he deduces that the first try didn't take,
and loads them in the Land Rover again. He drives them out to the woods,
bangs each sheep twice for good measure, brings them back, and goes to
bed exhausted.
Next morning, he wakes to find the sheep still just standing round.
"Try again." he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up, and drive
them out to the woods He spends all day shagging the sheep and upon
returning home, falls knackered into bed.
The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look out
of the window. He asks his wife to look, and tell him if the sheep are
lying in the grass.
"No," she says, "but they're all in the Land Rover, and one of them is
beeping the horn."
You suck!
Cybermyk said:
Two cows are standing in a pasture.

The first cow says, "Have you heard about this mad cow disease?"

The second cow says, "I don't care, I'm a helicopter!"
You suck more!
 
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Joined
13 Jan 2005
Posts
10,708
rmuir said:
A Welshman buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool.
After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting
pregnant, and phones a vet for help. The vet tells him that he should
try artificial insemination.
The farmer doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but, not
wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know
when the sheep are pregnant. The vet tells him that they will stop
standing around and instead will lie down and wallow in grass when they
are pregnant.
The man hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion
that artificial insemination means he has to impregnate the sheep
himself.
So, he loads the sheep into his Land Rover, drives them out into the
woods, has sex with them all, brings them back, and goes to bed.
Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep. Seeing that they are
all still standing around, he deduces that the first try didn't take,
and loads them in the Land Rover again. He drives them out to the woods,
bangs each sheep twice for good measure, brings them back, and goes to
bed exhausted.
Next morning, he wakes to find the sheep still just standing round.
"Try again." he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up, and drive
them out to the woods He spends all day shagging the sheep and upon
returning home, falls knackered into bed.
The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look out
of the window. He asks his wife to look, and tell him if the sheep are
lying in the grass.
"No," she says, "but they're all in the Land Rover, and one of them is
beeping the horn."

Racist, shame.
 
Soldato
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Jesmond
Troll.gif
 
Soldato
Joined
26 Nov 2003
Posts
6,674
Location
East Sussex
Sorry :p

Reminds me however of an advert I saw in the cinema once:

"A cowboy wearing a paper suit walks into a pub, within minutes he was arrested for rustling".

Changed via PC brigade into:

"A cowperson was detained by police for undisclosed reasons".

hehe.
 
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