Polite way of saying no?
- Thread starter tom26
- Start date
Soldato
cleanbluesky said:
Best reply in the thread. Theres no need to pussy foot around the issue
Andelusion said:Hi Tom
Just make an excuse, if he asks to use your laptop and you're not currently using it, just say you'll be using it shortly so he can't.
Start dropping hints that he needs to get his own stuff, i.e 'still haven't bought a <insert cullinary item> yet?'.
Don't be his bitch
Don't be such a pussy.
Just say "**** off and buy your own."
I HATE people borrowing my stuff.
*n
Soldato
Bottom line is just like some folk have outlined above - don't fart about and make up excuses. Tell him to his face. If it makes you feel bad to knock someone back, try telling him it's the last time he can borrow said item.
Front up and tell him the truth - if he can't handle it, that's his issue, not yours.
Front up and tell him the truth - if he can't handle it, that's his issue, not yours.
Permabanned
TBH
Caporegime
Just be up front. No point making excuses, that will only delay it.
A quick word, not infront of anyone and be as pleasant (regarding tone of voice etc.) as possible about it.
A quick word, not infront of anyone and be as pleasant (regarding tone of voice etc.) as possible about it.
basmic said:
TBH
Lollergeddon et cetera.
It's something that really infuriates me. I don't know why...But "Can I borrow..." usually results in me cutting them short with "NO YOU ****ING WELL CAN'T!"
It's even worse when they get it wrong.
"Can I lend your laptop for the presentation?"
"Do you mean 'lend' or 'borrow'?"
"Um...Can I have it?"
"No. It's mine. What are you trying to ask?"
"Can I....borrow(?) your..."
"NO."
*n
Man of Honour
I am disinclined to acquiesce to your request.
Soldato
- Joined
- 2 Nov 2004
- Posts
- 24,654
If you're working class...
Sorry mate, I don't think it's fair that you keep borrowing my stuff all the time.
If you're working class and trying to be posh...
I don't think its appropriate that you repetatively borrow my posessions, would it be possible that you could stop doing it in future?
If you're Middle to upper class
No
Sorry mate, I don't think it's fair that you keep borrowing my stuff all the time.
If you're working class and trying to be posh...
I don't think its appropriate that you repetatively borrow my posessions, would it be possible that you could stop doing it in future?
If you're Middle to upper class
No
Soldato
cleanbluesky said:
Damn! I find myself agreeing with CBS again ......... getting a little worrying .....
Man of Honour
Gilly said:
Poppet...
Soldato
Gilly said:
Mohinder rocks that. (reminder to self) I should talk to mohinder more lol.
As for the borrowing of the goodies.. It's gonna happen br0, what you need to do is draw a fair and firm line, and stick to it.. Cutlery, pots and pans etc should be shared (get yourself a rep as a pan horder and you wont be able to find anyone to live with next year), food-wise, borrow and lend in moderation. Laptops and expensive items I personally wouldnt lend out. I would allow them to be used whilst I was around (occasionally), but they wouldnt/dont leave my sight very often. But then I've been living with the same people for a few years now so we all kinda know the score.
Associate
- Joined
- 22 Dec 2004
- Posts
- 773
"OK. Let's talk fees....."
Soldato
If you want to avoid confrontation:
Go round to his room, have a look round at something that is obviously a task for him to retrieve, and ask him if u can borrow it. He would more or less *have* to say yes after all the times he's been borrowing your stuff.
Do above daily until he says no.
Problem should go away
Go round to his room, have a look round at something that is obviously a task for him to retrieve, and ask him if u can borrow it. He would more or less *have* to say yes after all the times he's been borrowing your stuff.
Do above daily until he says no.
Problem should go away
Associate
tell him you have some kind of incurable disease thats passed on thorugh the merely touching of anything you own, should put him off...
Might scare some other people in the halls though...
Might scare some other people in the halls though...
You've entered the world of shared living, if it isn't this issue, and this chap, then it will soon be someone and something else.
It may be awkward, and no matter how you approach it it probably will cause a little friction, but if you really don't want to lend your stuff out, you just have to bite the bullet and say so.
The laptop / expensive stuff aside. I'd advise you just let the cutlery, bread etc go. Sharing a house / halls is MUCH less stressful when everyone knows they can use whatever they need, and everyone has got to the point of respect where everyone pitches in and nobody takes the ****.
It's amazing, but letting these things get to you can really do your head in. I've seen best friends fall out for ever. Major strees for disproportionate problems when you think about it.
Sometimes you end up living with a maniac. Not much you can do about that until you / they move on.
It may be awkward, and no matter how you approach it it probably will cause a little friction, but if you really don't want to lend your stuff out, you just have to bite the bullet and say so.
The laptop / expensive stuff aside. I'd advise you just let the cutlery, bread etc go. Sharing a house / halls is MUCH less stressful when everyone knows they can use whatever they need, and everyone has got to the point of respect where everyone pitches in and nobody takes the ****.
It's amazing, but letting these things get to you can really do your head in. I've seen best friends fall out for ever. Major strees for disproportionate problems when you think about it.
Sometimes you end up living with a maniac. Not much you can do about that until you / they move on.
Man of Honour
Tell him you've decided on a policy of not lending anything to anybody. If you want an excuse so he doesn't think it's because of him, say it's due to a friend not paying you back the money you lent him months ago which has caused the friendship to fail.