2 Jokes

Caporegime
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begbo said:
I got the others, maybe your irish too? :p Didn't really get rotty's either or maybe just thought the joke was crap :p
Sigh. Ok.

For those in need of a humour-gland transplant:

Fruit+Custard+Jelly = Trifle.

Trifle Bizarre = a bit strange.

Bazaar = Bedouin Market.

Trifle Bazaar = A play on words indicating that its a bit strange to find a trifle selling market in the desert!



I'm sorry Rotty, please forgive me :(
 
Soldato
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Uni - UCL | Home - Woking
Two prawns, Justin and Christian, are swimming around in the sea.

They are constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that patrol the area.

Finally, one day, Justin says to Christian, "I'm bored and frustrated at being a prawn, I wish I was a shark, then I wouldn't have to worry about being eaten."

Just as Justin is fantasising about being a big, strong predator, a mysterious cod appears and says, "Your wish is granted", and lo and behold Justin is transformed into a shark.

Horrified by what's just happened and afraid of being eaten by his old mate, Christian swims away.

After a while of being a shark, Justin finds himself becoming bored and lonely. Whenever he approaches his old mates they all scurry away.

While out swimming alone one day, Justin sees the mysterious cod again and begs the cod to work its magic and turn him back into a prawn so he can hang out with his friends again.

The cod agrees and Justin is tranformed back into a prawn.

With tears of joy in his little eyes, he swims back to his friends but his old pal Christian is nowhere to be seen.

"Where's Christian?" he asked. "He's at home, completely distraught that his best friend changed sides and became a shark," the other prawns tell Justin.

So, eager to put things right again and end their mutual pain and torture, he sets off to Christian's house.

Banging on the door in an attempt to make up with his pal, he shouts: "Christian, it's me, Justin, your old friend. Please come out and see me again."

"No way," Christian replies. "You're a shark, you're the enemy and not to be trusted. How do I know you won't eat me?"

"It's OK now," argues Justin, "I'm not a shark any more. That was the old me. I've changed. I've seen Cod. I'm a prawn again Christian!"
 
Man of Honour
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Äkäslompolo
Ian Paisley goes into a coma. After twenty years he regains consciousness. The first person he sets eyes on is Unionist Peter Robinson.
Paisley, desperate to find out how the situation in the north turned out grabs hold of Robinson and says "Peter, what have I missed over the last 20 years? Did we win, did we lose? You've gotta tell me"
Robinson replies "Well Ian, I've got some good news and some bad news. Do you want the good or the bad first?"
Paisley thinks about it for a minute and say "Gimme the bad news first"
Robinson: "Well the bad news is that Gerry Adams is the new president of the United Ireland"
Paisley is shocked but enquires further "So what's the good news then?"
Robinson: "Rangers are beating Celtic in the cup final" Paisley is delighted by this and asks "What score is it?"
Robinson: "3-14 to 1-11"



An aging man lived alone in Ireland. His only son was interned in Long Kesh Prison, and he didn't know anyone who would spade up his potato garden. The old man wrote to his son about it, and received this reply, "For HEAVENS SAKE, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the GUNS!!!!!"

At 4 A.M. the next morning, a dozen British soldiers showed up and dug up the entire garden, but didn't find any guns. Confused, the man wrote to his son telling him what happened and asking him what to do next.

His son's reply was: "Just plant your potatoes."
 
Soldato
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hOme
hardc0re_tid said:
i didnt get the isrish one or rotty's? care to elaborate

dont get the rabbit one either :confused:

exstacy makes you very active and chatty, thats why the rabbit was talking to all the other animals and running around a lot...

:D
 

Mat

Mat

Soldato
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Scuzi said:
Robinson: "Rangers are beating Celtic in the cup final" Paisley is delighted by this and asks "What score is it?"
Robinson: "3-14 to 1-11"

Nope... sorry, you've lost me there... :confused:
 
Soldato
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Cornwall
Scuzi said:
An aging man lived alone in Ireland. His only son was interned in Long Kesh Prison, and he didn't know anyone who would spade up his potato garden. The old man wrote to his son about it, and received this reply, "For HEAVENS SAKE, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the GUNS!!!!!"

At 4 A.M. the next morning, a dozen British soldiers showed up and dug up the entire garden, but didn't find any guns. Confused, the man wrote to his son telling him what happened and asking him what to do next.

His son's reply was: "Just plant your potatoes."

klass scuzi. loved it :D
 
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