* What do you call a chav down twining avenue?
A ****
* How long does it take a chav to take out the trash?
9 months
* How can you tell if a Chavette is having an orgasm?
She drops her chips
* What's the difference between a chavette and a chav?
A chavette has a higher sperm count
* A chav girl goes to the Doctor complaining of a strange green rash on her inner thighs.
The doctor takes one look and says "Tell your boyfriend his gold earrings are fake".
* What key can open any lock?
A pi-key.
* What's the chav next door getting for Christmas?
Your bike.
* What do you call a chav in a suit?
The Accused
* What do you say to a chav in a suit?
How do you plead?
Where's the bride?
Whose funeral are you off to?
* Four chavs drive off a cliff in a Vauxhall Nova. Why is it a shame?
A Vauxhall Nova seats five.
* Why is a chav like a Slinky?
Because they have no real use, but it's fun to watch one fall down the stairs.
* What do you call a chav in a filing cabinet arranged alphabetically?
Well sorted.
* What do you call a chav in a fridge?
Chilled.
* What do you call a chav in an elevator?
Raised
* What do you call a chav in a freezer?
Solid.
* What do you call a chav in a box?
Innit.
* What do you call a chav in a locked box?
Safe, innit.
* What do you call a chav in a blender?
Mush.
* What do you call a dead chav?
Result.
* What do you call a chav with grass otters in his pockets?
Tony.
* Two chavs race off the edge of a cliff. Who wins?
Society.
* What do you call a fat chav?
Anything, they're all fat anyway...
* A couple want to have a bash at anal sex, but the woman decides to play it safe and seek medical advice first.
"Anal sex is perfectly safe," says her doctor, "as long as you take it slowly at first and use plenty of lubricant. And you take care not to get pregnant, of course."
"What?" says the woman incredulously, "You can get pregnant from anal sex?"
"Certainly," replies the doc, "where did you think chavs came from?"
* What do you call a Chav in a white shell suit?
The Bride.
* What do you call a Chav who helps an old lady across the road?
Nice one.
* What do you call a Chav who pushes an old lady under a bus?
Wicked.
* Two chavs in a car without any music. Who's driving?
The police.
* What do you call a chav with 9 GCSEs?
A liar.
* What do you call a 30-year-old chavette?
Granny.
* What do you call a chav at college?
The cleaner.
* What do you call a chav with a knife wound?
Gutted.
* How does a girl chav turn the light on after sex?
She opens the car door.
* What do chavs get for their 21st?
Grandkids.
* What do you chavettes get when they start high school?
Pregnant.
* How many chavs does it take to tile a bathroom?
Only one, but you have to slice him thinly.
* What do you call a chav on fire?
Blazin'.
* You're in your car and you see a Chav on a bike, why should you try not to hit him?
It might be your bike.
* What's the difference between a Chav and a coconut?
One's thick and hairy, the other's a coconut.
* What's the first question at a Chav quiz night?
"What you lookin' at?"
* How do you get 100 Chavs into a phone box?
Paint go-faster stripes on it.
* What do you call a knife in chav-ville?
Exhibit A.
* What do you call 100 chavs at the bottom of a river?
A good start.
* Why did the chav take a shower?
He didn't mean to, he just forgot to close the Nova's window in the car wash.
* Why did the Chav cross the road?
To start a fight with a random stranger for absolutely no reason whatsoever.
* How do you start an argument with a chav?
Speak!
* What do you call a chav in a tastfully decorated house?
The burglar.
* What do you call an Alaskan chav?
Innuinnit.
* How do you identify the bride at a chav wedding?
She is the most pregnant one.
* What do you call a chav with a gun?
A jew
* What do chavs use as protection during sex?
A bus shelter.
* A Chav walks into the job centre and says "I'd really like a job". So the bloke behind the counter says, "Oh I've got one here that's just right for you... ten hours a week, 400 hundred thousand a year, no qualifications required."
So the chav's little face lights up and he says "You're joking right?", somewhat awed at the prospect of it all.
So the job centre bloke says "Well, you started it."
* Why are chavs like laxatives?
Because they irritate the **** out of you.
* The Government have approached the chavs to ask them if they would like, on joining a single currency with europe, to have the currency of the country renamed. The chavs have replied that they prefer to keep is as the Giro.
* What’s the difference between a battery and a chav?
A battery has a positive side.
* What’s the most confusing day of the year for a chav?
Fathers' Day.
* What's green and gets you ******?
A Giro.
* Where do chavettes go for work?
Street corners.
* What do you call a chav waiting in a bus shelter?
At a party.
* Whats a chav's favourite car?
One without an alarm.
* What do you call a chav in a jar of honey?
Sweet.
* What is a chav's favourite ice cream?
Mint.
* What's the difference between sticking a knife in an onion or sticking one in a chav?
You cry when you knife an onion.
* What's the difference between roadkill and a dead chav?
Roadkill has skid marks in front of it.
* What have chav girls got in common with tortoises?
When they're on their backs, they're read me .
* What's the difference between Jews in Nazi Germany and chavs?
One was given **** accommodation by the state and had to work long hours for no pay...
* What do you call a chav bleeding to death in the street?
Nothing. You just kick him in the head a few times for good measure.
You can't call him anything if you're laughing too hard.
Nothing. You take a photo to text to all your mates.
* What do you call a male chav with two brain cells?
Gifted.
* What do you call a female chav with two brain cells?
Pregnant.
A ****
* How long does it take a chav to take out the trash?
9 months
* How can you tell if a Chavette is having an orgasm?
She drops her chips
* What's the difference between a chavette and a chav?
A chavette has a higher sperm count
* A chav girl goes to the Doctor complaining of a strange green rash on her inner thighs.
The doctor takes one look and says "Tell your boyfriend his gold earrings are fake".
* What key can open any lock?
A pi-key.
* What's the chav next door getting for Christmas?
Your bike.
* What do you call a chav in a suit?
The Accused
* What do you say to a chav in a suit?
How do you plead?
Where's the bride?
Whose funeral are you off to?
* Four chavs drive off a cliff in a Vauxhall Nova. Why is it a shame?
A Vauxhall Nova seats five.
* Why is a chav like a Slinky?
Because they have no real use, but it's fun to watch one fall down the stairs.
* What do you call a chav in a filing cabinet arranged alphabetically?
Well sorted.
* What do you call a chav in a fridge?
Chilled.
* What do you call a chav in an elevator?
Raised
* What do you call a chav in a freezer?
Solid.
* What do you call a chav in a box?
Innit.
* What do you call a chav in a locked box?
Safe, innit.
* What do you call a chav in a blender?
Mush.
* What do you call a dead chav?
Result.
* What do you call a chav with grass otters in his pockets?
Tony.
* Two chavs race off the edge of a cliff. Who wins?
Society.
* What do you call a fat chav?
Anything, they're all fat anyway...
* A couple want to have a bash at anal sex, but the woman decides to play it safe and seek medical advice first.
"Anal sex is perfectly safe," says her doctor, "as long as you take it slowly at first and use plenty of lubricant. And you take care not to get pregnant, of course."
"What?" says the woman incredulously, "You can get pregnant from anal sex?"
"Certainly," replies the doc, "where did you think chavs came from?"
* What do you call a Chav in a white shell suit?
The Bride.
* What do you call a Chav who helps an old lady across the road?
Nice one.
* What do you call a Chav who pushes an old lady under a bus?
Wicked.
* Two chavs in a car without any music. Who's driving?
The police.
* What do you call a chav with 9 GCSEs?
A liar.
* What do you call a 30-year-old chavette?
Granny.
* What do you call a chav at college?
The cleaner.
* What do you call a chav with a knife wound?
Gutted.
* How does a girl chav turn the light on after sex?
She opens the car door.
* What do chavs get for their 21st?
Grandkids.
* What do you chavettes get when they start high school?
Pregnant.
* How many chavs does it take to tile a bathroom?
Only one, but you have to slice him thinly.
* What do you call a chav on fire?
Blazin'.
* You're in your car and you see a Chav on a bike, why should you try not to hit him?
It might be your bike.
* What's the difference between a Chav and a coconut?
One's thick and hairy, the other's a coconut.
* What's the first question at a Chav quiz night?
"What you lookin' at?"
* How do you get 100 Chavs into a phone box?
Paint go-faster stripes on it.
* What do you call a knife in chav-ville?
Exhibit A.
* What do you call 100 chavs at the bottom of a river?
A good start.
* Why did the chav take a shower?
He didn't mean to, he just forgot to close the Nova's window in the car wash.
* Why did the Chav cross the road?
To start a fight with a random stranger for absolutely no reason whatsoever.
* How do you start an argument with a chav?
Speak!
* What do you call a chav in a tastfully decorated house?
The burglar.
* What do you call an Alaskan chav?
Innuinnit.
* How do you identify the bride at a chav wedding?
She is the most pregnant one.
* What do you call a chav with a gun?
A jew
* What do chavs use as protection during sex?
A bus shelter.
* A Chav walks into the job centre and says "I'd really like a job". So the bloke behind the counter says, "Oh I've got one here that's just right for you... ten hours a week, 400 hundred thousand a year, no qualifications required."
So the chav's little face lights up and he says "You're joking right?", somewhat awed at the prospect of it all.
So the job centre bloke says "Well, you started it."
* Why are chavs like laxatives?
Because they irritate the **** out of you.
* The Government have approached the chavs to ask them if they would like, on joining a single currency with europe, to have the currency of the country renamed. The chavs have replied that they prefer to keep is as the Giro.
* What’s the difference between a battery and a chav?
A battery has a positive side.
* What’s the most confusing day of the year for a chav?
Fathers' Day.
* What's green and gets you ******?
A Giro.
* Where do chavettes go for work?
Street corners.
* What do you call a chav waiting in a bus shelter?
At a party.
* Whats a chav's favourite car?
One without an alarm.
* What do you call a chav in a jar of honey?
Sweet.
* What is a chav's favourite ice cream?
Mint.
* What's the difference between sticking a knife in an onion or sticking one in a chav?
You cry when you knife an onion.
* What's the difference between roadkill and a dead chav?
Roadkill has skid marks in front of it.
* What have chav girls got in common with tortoises?
When they're on their backs, they're read me .
* What's the difference between Jews in Nazi Germany and chavs?
One was given **** accommodation by the state and had to work long hours for no pay...
* What do you call a chav bleeding to death in the street?
Nothing. You just kick him in the head a few times for good measure.
You can't call him anything if you're laughing too hard.
Nothing. You take a photo to text to all your mates.
* What do you call a male chav with two brain cells?
Gifted.
* What do you call a female chav with two brain cells?
Pregnant.
But you may want to edit out the swearies. 
you made me lol thank you.