Just want to get this off my chest...

[Things change I've changed]

Well it was my brithday today and he turned up and gave my sister a birthday card to give to me and drove off, without saying anything.

Inside was a cheque for £1000, I tried to call him but he just kept cancelling my calls.

I don't know whether to bank the cheque or rip it up.

well I don;t mean to put you on a downer but I know what I'd say to that, "you think a grand is enough to pay off your guilty consence for treating me like ****, keep your ******* check"

I've been where you have mate, even now I don't speak to my father b-cos he chooses drink over his own family, anyway I've had a few beers tongiht so maybie my advice is wrong but it's oh so much easier to giive someone money instead of love.

 

[Smithy]

Don't get me started on Dads. Especially ones that move abroad and then have the damn cheek to complain about you not coming to see them. Personally (although I feel guilty saying it), I could live without him, I already have a good male role model.

Good luck in whichever way you decide to deal with this.

 

[Begbie]

It's crap arguing with the dad, he just gets mad and chucks irons at you! lol

Hope things work out mate

 

[M0T]

well I don;t mean to put you on a downer but I know what I'd say to that, "you think a grand is enough to pay off your guilty consence for treating me like ****, keep your ******* check"

I've been where you have mate, even now I don't speak to my father b-cos he chooses drink over his own family, anyway I've had a few beers tongiht so maybie my advice is wrong but it's oh so much easier to giive someone money instead of love.

That is exactly what I think as well.

Its not even like £1000 is a whole lot of money to him either, he earns a hell of a lot of money - enough to buy my older sister a clio on a whim. So its not like it would negatively affect him if I took it. So I think the best plan is to just give it back and tell him that I'm not for sale.

I had a massive party and felt awful the whole day because he couldn't even be bothered to speak to me. I didn't even know he was there.

 

[Tom|Nbk]

If this was my Father

A couple of years ago when I had a full time job that I'd been in for 8 months he told me I was a waste of space and would never amount to anything. I'd done considerably better than he did at that age.

He'd never get the oppourtunity to see me again.. Really sorry to hear it though stay positive if at all possible.

 

[Tom|Nbk]

Wow That really sucks. I used to be very close to my dad when I was younger so I can't imagine what it must be like to be treated like that.

Same, Since I have grown up I've branched away but we are still very close when I do go round there, for instance today I hadn't been round for a few weeks we had a kick about in the garden and had some dinner at his it really made me think of when we were really close (the old times), so I can't imagine what it must be like for this guy

 

[manveruppd]

I don't know whether to bank the cheque or rip it up.

Frame it? Maybe he is trying to buy off his guilty conscience, but maybe it's a gesture that he's trying to make a new start instead.

 

[Bounc3]

Don't get me started on Dads. Especially ones that move abroad and then have the damn cheek to complain about you not coming to see them. Personally (although I feel guilty saying it), I could live without him, I already have a good male role model.

Good luck in whichever way you decide to deal with this.

Im 15 years old, my dads moving to england next month,
Used to be okay with him,
I think it was when I turned 13 that he started to hate me,
I can live without him threatening to hurt me in the morning,
telling me how im going to be a failure in the afternoon,
and him going up to his study and never seeing anyone in our family in the evening.

I dont need a male role model, my mum and the other girl in my life are both fantastic, i love both of them. I question if I love my dad sometimes.

 

[Soulja]

I've got nothing from my dad for last last 20ish years, mainly becuase he left me and my mother when i was a child all i want to see is at least you know your father

 

[daveyj27]

but maybe it's a gesture that he's trying to make a new start instead.

I'd have to disagree with that I think.
If the father wanted to make a new start he would have made an attempt at communication, not a poxy card with a cheque in it.

MOT:

It really is your choice mate, and I don't know what your financial health is like, but i'd be tempted to send the cheque back to him. Maybe a letter that explains your hurt should be included too, nothing rude or aggressive, just honest and open.

 

[daveyj27]

I've got nothing from my dad for last last 20ish years, mainly becuase he left me and my mother when i was a child all i want to see is at least you know your father

My Dad left us when I was four, and made probably five or six token efforts over the years to see me and my younger brother. I'm thirty four now, married to someone I thank my lucky stars for, and we've just began a new life in the US. In short, I am very very happy.

My point is that I didn't need that man to make me become the man that I am today, and that's his loss.

 

[Dr House]

have you asked your mum why he is like this to you? there could be more behind it than you know?

sorry you had a crap birthday

 

[schnipps]

Im not like that i would take the cheque, if he is never there then sending it back with a letter isnt going to make any difference. I would take the money and enjoy myself.

 

[M0T]

Well he called me up today, so I asked him about the phonecalls.

He told me he phoned back as soon as he saw he had missed calls, and he reckoned that was about 3pm. I first phoned him at 7pm.

He also had no explanation for not seeing me on my birthday, so I said goodbye and have gone to my girlfriends.

 

[Cyber-Mav]

My dad used to hit me when I did something wrong, not a smack but proper full force punches. I can remember when I was 5 my mum had to shield me from him because I'd dropped something on the floor.

He has kicked me downstairs, upstairs, thrown me into walls and strangled me until I passed out.

I thought that it was normal, when you did something wrong you'd get punished, but sometimes I did nothing and still got punished. By the time I found out that nobody elses parents were like that he had stopped doing it and I thought he'd changed.

Thats why its so important for me to think he cares.

heh i remember those days, but doesnt happen anymore since im a clear 1 foot taller then the old man and 7 stones heavier

 

[Tefal]

heh i remember those days, but doesnt happen anymore since im a clear 1 foot taller then the old man and 7 stones heavier

Fat ***

 

[churned]

The brother comment made your father sound really childish...

 

[SexyGreyFox]

I can honestly say that I must be one of the greatest Dads ever.
My two daughters who are 20 & 18 adore me and always reckon their mates are jealous that they've got parents like us.
Its testament that a lot of their friends actually call me Dad.
I really feel for you kids who's parents treat you like poo because my girls are the most precious things in my life (except the wife).
The youngest has a boyfriend who's parents treat him like dirt and he swears he hasn't asked for it.
He said that when he became a teenager its as though they had lost any use for him

 

[Tefal]

I can honestly say that I must be one of the greatest Dads ever.
My two daughters who are 20 & 18 adore me and always reckon their mates are jealous that they've got parents like us.
Its testament that a lot of their friends actually call me Dad.
I really feel for you kids who's parents treat you like poo because my girls are the most precious things in my life (except the wife).
The youngest has a boyfriend who's parents treat him like dirt and he swears he hasn't asked for it.
He said that when he became a teenager its as though they had lost any use for him

Too....many...inappropriate jokes.... must....resist!!

 

[Tom|Nbk]

Too....many...inappropriate jokes.... must....resist!!

LOL

heh i remember those days, but doesnt happen anymore since im a clear 1 foot taller then the old man and 7 stones heavier

But..your profile says your 60