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  1. The Funktopus

    Baltimore Bridge

    The classic trick is to wait for someone to try and sync a generator to the board, and just as they click connect in the IAS or close the breaker if doing it from the switchboard room, flick the light switch off. The initial look of horror, followed by fury when they realise what happened, is...
  2. The Funktopus

    Baltimore Bridge

    “Chief, what does this breaker d-“
  3. The Funktopus

    OcUK Dadsnet thread

    Paid for an allergy test from a blood sample for my daughter, as she’s non-verbal, and can’t tell us when she’s feeling unwell. We knew from her early days, and the scale of the response that she was allergic to cow’s milk. However, despite cutting out milk and avoiding soy, which we suspect she...
  4. The Funktopus

    OcUK Dadsnet thread

    We take our little one to a specialised soft play as she has ASD, which the parents have to sign a waiver for stating that they’ll keep a constant eye on their kids. Last time I was there one bloke puts his kid on the enclosed trampoline and ****s off. Kid decides he wants to get off, and just...
  5. The Funktopus

    Red Sea / Houthi rebels situation

    Ironic, given how Russia and China treat their own Muslim minorities.
  6. The Funktopus

    This Instant And Moment - 2024!

    Just trying that now, local police website seems to be just leading me in circles. Can’t really say I’m reporting a crime, but we have footage of someone doing something dodgy. Try to report it as antisocial behaviour and it just takes me back to the front page. In a plot twist, our neighbour...
  7. The Funktopus

    This Instant And Moment - 2024!

    Had a quintessential roadmen, such is the term I believe the youth use these days, ringing our video doorbell, and then ringing doorbells and knocking on the doors of several of our neighbours at around 3.00 this morning. Don’t know what he hoped to achieve by ringing the doorbell, but weirdly...
  8. The Funktopus

    "Just stop oil"

    Barbecue sauce or jam during horsefly and wasp season.
  9. The Funktopus

    Red Sea / Houthi rebels situation

    Houthis have caused their 1st fatalities it would seem, 2 killed aboard the Barbados flagged bulk carrier M/V True Confidence by anti-ship ballistic missile strike. Source: gCaptain article Wonder if we’ll see an escalation in the response to these.
  10. The Funktopus

    The ongoing Elon Twitter saga: "insert demographic" melts down

    Dunno, I kinda dig unwashed potatoes.
  11. The Funktopus

    Winter 2023/24 - It's FREEZING!

    Been lovely where I am today, bright blue skies and plenty of sunshine. Bit warmer than it has been too. Feels like Spring’s around the corner at last.
  12. The Funktopus

    Ukraine Invasion - Please do not post videos showing attacks/similar

    I’m just picturing that scene from Phoenix Nights, with the psychic after he’s had his nose bust, “See, if you were any good you’d have seen that coming!”
  13. The Funktopus

    Ukraine Invasion - Please do not post videos showing attacks/similar

    The takeaway from this ****-show is if you have nukes, keep them no matter what, if you don’t have nukes, get them as soon as possible. The only law that matters is the law of the jungle.
  14. The Funktopus

    Ukraine Invasion - Please do not post videos showing attacks/similar

    To be fair, being landlocked, a navy would be a bit impractical for Moldova anyway.
  15. The Funktopus

    This Instant And Moment - 2024!

    The Morrison’s where I grew up initially opened with 2 sets of revolving doors, but they had to remove them due to the fact that most of their clientele were old farts, and couldn’t keep up with the doors, so they’d keep stopping.
  16. The Funktopus

    Badly timed accidents

    Without a base, without a trace.
  17. The Funktopus

    Badly timed accidents

    Dunno, from watching A&E after dark there seems to be an awful lot of people who slip and fall on objects that subsequently require”‘retrieval” after they just happened to “slip” as they were getting into the shower
  18. The Funktopus

    Ukraine Invasion - Please do not post videos showing attacks/similar

    “Hate to be the guys responsible for stopping those thi-….Oh, right.”
  19. The Funktopus

    Ukraine Invasion - Please do not post videos showing attacks/similar

    I’m just intrigued to see how much per week that the NHS is going to get this time around.
  20. The Funktopus

    Ukraine Invasion - Please do not post videos showing attacks/similar

    A portmanteau worked so well for them last time they tried it, why wouldn’t they try it again?
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