I'd imagine most people don't want to disclose, but bumping for great justice as I'm interested too.

 

I sometimes think that I might be a little bit. I seem to lack any zest for life, but it seems alot of people are in the same boat.

 

I'm sure it works both ways. I imagine some people have a bad day/week and say they are depressed when there are others really sufferring. On the other hand, there must be others who are permanently depressed but just think it's normal or that it will be ok the next time they wake up.

 

OK here's my experience of it:

Other half has/is mad - depression etc. Following a serious breakdown 12-18 months ago, (I'm sure it's a cyclical thing for her every decade or so) eventually she admitted to herself that she had a problem again and we went to see her GP, who started the ball rolling with medication that didn't work, then referred her to a proper head shrinker who could give the medication she could tolerate. Some of the side-effects are as bad or worse than the symptoms of her illness.

As far as employer notification... that goes with any sick leave recommended by your GP - they generally don't need to know everything about the situation; usually a sick-note form you GP is fine, but some employers (like pepsico for instance) would want their own doctors to decide if your fit to be at work or not basically so they don't have to loose money because of your condition. Likewise if you are seeing a consultant psychiatrist then you will be categorised as a risk/or not to yourself and others and this will be on your permanent medical record - this may (and I do mean may) have implications for certain jobs or disclosure requirements... for example applying for a shotgun or fire arms certificate and such like.

She takes quite a lot of medication - 250mg per day antidepressants (prescribed by her consultant psychiatrist) and has done for almost a year now. That's after the roller-coaster that is the 'can you guess what medication is going to be good for you-try everything-until you find one that actually works and doesn't make you worse'.

She drinks too much also, which when you add sleeping tablets to the mix, this requires a free ride in the bus with the siren and lights that isn't an ice cream van, to A&E a couple of sundays back. Speaking of which, today I went with her to her shrink appointment, where we discussed her drinking and levels of anxiety and what to do about them. Mainly it's all about little steps and keeping a daily routine going: eating right, doing regular exercise, staying at work and such like. All geared to give her some sort of structure she can hold on to whilst she waits for her therapy to begin. Common sense stuff mostly.

Waiting lists for the behavioural therapy thing she's supposed to be getting are a total joke - 22 months.

Her work are pretty understanding considering all the time off she's had in the last year. Had it been any of the buttholes I've worked for in the past, she'd have been out the door as quick as a flash; sometimes I don't think she knows how lucky she is in this respect.

As far as it concerns our relationship... where to start?
Mood swings like pmt but with no early warning calendar. Lack of libido on her part. Lack of any emotion towards anything or anyone close to her... ie. me, her parents, friends etc. Wanting to brake up every few months, never mind that I've stood by her for the last 8 years through all sorts of hardship related to her condition - she always comes around, but it can be awfully painful if you're not on top form yourself; Looking into the eyes of the woman you love and seeing a total stranger staring back at you like you mean less than nothing to them.
What else? Did I mention the mood swings already?

Odd behaviour, like unplugging all of the sockets in the house in case they catch fire when we go out - this includes my alarm clock, radio, tv, skybox, video etc. I'm forever resetting the timers on just about everything electrical in the house.
Manic cleaning sessions that lead to all my important papers being thrown away, or rather 'tidying up' as she calls it. Packing away my tools in the wrong places.
Bringing home stray cats from the RSPCA without consulting me about turning the damn house into one giant litter tray - currently we have 5 cats; ONE is mine since before we met, the other four are hers that she's acquired. 3 from the rspca and one stray from outside in the snow last winter. And most recently, she is 'looking after' a rescue cat that has a fractured pelvis and a broken tail 'because they don't have room for him' at the cattery/rspca where she volunteers every few sundays.

So now we have 6 in a tiny terraced house that is rented. I've shouted, sworn, raved and cajoled, demanded, raged and reasoned about having no more animals, ever since we had the optimum number of cats (2) and all to no avail.
To be blunt: when she is going off on one she does whatever she wants or thinks is a good idea at the time, regardless of how it might concern anyone else.
Sometimes she's such a ******* mad bitch I could just walk away from the whole situation and never look back.
Trouble is she wasn't always like that, and every now and then we get a glimpse of how she used to be which keeps us going together. This last year or two have been the hardest of my life, at least from an emotional standpoint.

Honestly, living with someone who has serious depression/mental health issues can be almost as bad as suffering from it yourself.
For the most part there's nothing you can do to help them - either you're along for the ride, or you get off at the next station.

Add a dash of recession related unemployment for me and I'm about ready to kill someone Mostly people who work for the jobcentre, mind.... they really don't help at all, just exacerbate the situation I find myself in.

@ David41, Regarding the lack of zest for life... I don't want to make water on your fire or anything like that, but if you were ill like I've been describing, you and everyone you know would know it, utterly and without question.
It goes waaay beyond what I can really and truly understand, as I suspect, like you, we all have times in our life when no ray of sunlight seems to peek through the clouds, but that just about describes most average healthy people. Please don't misunderstand, I'm not belittling you or your comments in any way, I've had to try and understand something that is only happening in someone else's head for the last 8 years, so I'm not discounting anything you say or may feel

 

I really feel for you, your an amazing person being able to deal with that along with life's other stresses. This has kind of humbled me, i hope things get better for you soon.

 

I wish I could give out my story but I'm tired of repeating it to people as many seem to care little these days unfortunately which in turn made me worse through out the crest of my depression. Got over it on my own though atleast... :/

 

+1

I've had depression. Living with me would have been well nigh impossible. When I think back to how insane(*) I was, it freaks me out. Anyone who can stay in a relationship with someone suffering from depression deserves a lot of respect.

* I do mean that literally. Depression is not just feeling down, although that's part of it.

Random examples:

I was playing noughts and crosses on my arm with a spike at work and didn't understand why other people thought that wasn't normal. That was on a good day, too.

I wanted a mug of tea and after a while managed to care enough to make one. But all the mugs were dirty, because I hadn't washed up for who knows how long. I couldn't face the Herculean task of washing a mug, so I slumped against a wall in despair for hours. I don't know how long, but it was mid afternoon when I started and it was dark when the need to pee forced me to move.

I'm scared of depression, because I know it. It ate a decade of my life.

 

I know that feeling only too well! The missus has severe clinical depression, but fortunately she responds well to Citalopram.

Unfortunately it is contraindicated in pregnancy so i've been on the receiving end of unmedicated major depressive episodes for the past 8 months and at times it is only knowing how much better she is when able to medicate that has kept me from walking. Well, that and the fact she's carrying our first little lad

At the moment I'm working 10pm-6am, getting home at 6.30am, getting the kids breakfast, taking them to school, cleaning the house, take her to any doctors appointments, do the shopping, collect the kids from school and then keep the kids entertained because she can't cope with them being boisterous or noisy without cracking up. Most weekdays I'm lucky if I get a couple of hours sleep a day.

Whilst she's been pregnant I've also redone the entire garden, built the kids a playhouse, built a 13' x 11' summerhouse, bricked up a doorway and window and fitted a new kitchen.

I can't wait til she's had the kid and remedicated - I'll probably be the only dad in the hospital to find having to cope with a newborn as relaxing...
Supposed to be having a cesarian on the 28th, so fingers crossed.

 

Social anxiety disorder. It starts so subtly at first that you don't even realise it, all of a sudden you start to feel slightly anxious in certain situations, small things at first like answering a question in class so you avoid doing it, then it begins to happen in other situations such as talking to teachers, so you avoid doing that too. Then it starts to become much more pervasive, anxiety when meeting strangers, going into a shop, even talking to friends and family. Of course the intensity gradually increases, what starts as general unease in the beggining starts to manifest itself physically, blushing (which makes the anxiety much worse), heart palpitations, nausea, sweating, stuttering, shaking, and in extreme situations panic attacks which consist of derealisation, dizziness and light headedness along with a pulse of >200bpm which makes you think you're having a heart attack. Being asked do a presentation is like recieving a death sentence, feeling sick and anxious even months before it's due but bizarrely you still don't even realise you have a problem, after all everyone gets nervous when doing a presentation right?

 

I blogged about my experience about a month back - check the link in my sig. The one thing I didn't say there is that my employer have been awful about it - they issued me a warning for poor performance and refused to accept that my depression had anything to do with it. It was a total fit up really, just because the boss doesn't like me. I'd take them to court with the disability discriminations act, but I don't need the stress and there's far too much risk that I'd never work in this town again, as they say.

 

My Dad had/has it, I say this because I'm never sure the guy that was so brilliant at bringing us up will ever fully return, like the guy above said it is the glimpses of the person you know that holds you up, my dad was like a stranger for years.

Doctors.....they chuck random medicines at him hoping one will work, all they did was make him into a zombie. My mum decided that enough was enough & started the very long road of getting his medication down, a good long time later he is about there & looking a lot better for it. the man we knew is really in there most of the time now.

Don't really feel like going into great detail, it is pretty personal but I felt that the guy who posted about his other half should know that there is an end & he will see most of the person he loved one day. i think it took so much out of my dad that he will never fully recover, hopefully others do though.

 

Never had it myself (depression that is, well, had a few dark days but I suppose we all have them) but I do notice that more and more people seems to be getting this horrible disease. I know of 5 blokes at work that is on medication (for the nature of our work, you need to declare every single bit of medication you take. Even a headache pill) and they don't seem to get any better.

As for a social anxiety disorder, I had something like that when I was smaller because of my stutter. I never had treatment for either because my parents believe it was 'nonsense' and I should 'snap out of it' and 'speak properly'. It's just through sheer will, focussed breathing, starting my sentences slow I managed to shake the stutter completely...... in my early 20's. However, to this day I sometimes catch myself not being able to start a sentence and need to take a moment first.
This all sadly left me with a bit of an anti-social attitude. I mean, I hardly opened my mouth at school every day since, well, nothing usually came out , so I never bothered with friends, parties or girlfriends until my early 20's and by then my personality was hard and uncaring because of how my formative years was.

I do remember one incident where I was suppose to make a speech in English class. Utter nightmares for weeks before. Usually I will just take a 'fail' than stand up and be ridiculed, but this teacher had a bee in her bonnet and made me stand up and do the damn speech. Needless to say it was a disaster and she took sly digs and then openly laughed at me. Big knock for the old confidence for months after It was only a year after that incident (which I thought about every single day) her car and house got smashed up, and when she got a new car, that got done as well. Nothing that I'm proud of, but only then I felt I was even with her.
It's weird how there is still certain words I absolutely cannot say without sounding like a record that's stuck. 'crab', 'crash', 'cover', 'coffee cup' and most words that starts with a 'C'.

These days I have very few friends since I can't be asked listening to people's fake, made up storm in a tiny tea cup problems. It's wrong, I know, but right now my life is ticking along fine and the people I have close to me knows exactly how I am and accept me for that.

 

Living and coping with depression makes you a much stronger person. I go off the rails from time to time.

 

I fit the descriptions of Cyclothymia and also ADHD to a small extent after my girlfriend showed me medical info about it. Though I have not had proper medical consultation or anything like that It's tricky but luckily reasonably mild. I hadn't had any real swings in about 1-2 months until yesterday actually. These could all just be personality traits though, I hate seeming to look like a hyperchondriac.

 

Respect to the guys who are dealing with some very awkward situations.

Really puts your own life into perspective - things took a bad turn for me a couple of months back, one issue lead to another and before long I wasn't sure where my life was going or how it was going to turn out. I'm still not, but I'm making inroads to sorting things out.

Knowing that other people are dealing with far more involved problems gives the rest of us strength to carry on.

n

 

Yes absolutely. Problem is, a lot of people don't understand. A bad day to them can make them 'feel' low and depressed, but they can get themselves out of it. I've been diagnosed with bio-chemical (I think that's what they called it) many years ago, and dealing with that is a completely life changing experience. That is a form of depression that you can't just snap yourself out of.

 

I've suffered from Generalized anxiety and depression for a number of years. It comes and goes but makes life difficult. I'm taking chlordiazpoxide and citrlopram. It's a strange thing to have to worry about everything and everyone.

Am I going to die today, Is one of my parents going to die today, will my partner be killed in a road crash, are my kids safe. The list goes on.
I've come to live with it I guess, but when It's bad life is very hard. I'm very lucky to have a partner who goes out to work so I can stay at home with the kids. She is a complete saint

 

i'm on depression tablets after i had a heart attack a year ago, then losing my job. Now i've been told i'm going to be in a wheelchair for rest of life or i must untake a highrisk spinal op due to a bad slipped disc which has gone into my spine!, of which i thought was heart problems after my heart attack was actually spinal probs!