Anyone being treated for depression or similiar? What's your story.

Soldato
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I'm being treated for depression at the moment, I've been on 20mg of Citalopram for the last 3 weeks or so. I was getting a side effects from it like mid nausea and trouble sleeping, but they seem to be fading now.

It's not really long enough to be sure what effect it's been having but I have been feeling a lot better the last few days which is promising. I found the GP was quite helpful, it was certainly easier to get help than I expected, I can't help but think I should have been to the doctors ages ago. I've got another appointment at the end of the month to see how things are going.

I've not spoken to my employers about it, and I don't plan on it either. It has affected my work and if it continues to then I probably will need to but hopefully it won't be necessary.
 
Caporegime
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I'm scared of depression, because I know it. It ate a decade of my life.
It's eaten a year and a half of mine so far. It continues to chip away.

I blogged about my experience about a month back - check the link in my sig. The one thing I didn't say there is that my employer have been awful about it - they issued me a warning for poor performance and refused to accept that my depression had anything to do with it. It was a total fit up really, just because the boss doesn't like me. I'd take them to court with the disability discriminations act, but I don't need the stress and there's far too much risk that I'd never work in this town again, as they say.
Interesting read that Von. I can't be bothered to blog about my depression for several reasons, but the main one being I don't want it all explicitly on record for people to scrutinise, so I applaud you for being able to do so.

As for me, well it came close to consuming me and may well do again in the future. It seems to go in cycles. The medication helps for the most part, but some days are just...

My girlfriend is amazing. She doesn't know just what she puts up with because I do a good job of hiding it, but she helps so much. It is genuine to say that she saved my life, and I feel guilty a lot because it's still not all right under the surface; I wonder how much she does know.

Anyway. The worst of it is the loss of motivation. And it's not just a loss. It is a sheer, utter abyss of lethargy that takes everything with it.
 
Associate
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I'm being treated for depression at the moment, I've been on 20mg of Citalopram for the last 3 weeks or so. I was getting a side effects from it like mid nausea and trouble sleeping, but they seem to be fading now.

It's not really long enough to be sure what effect it's been having but I have been feeling a lot better the last few days which is promising. I found the GP was quite helpful, it was certainly easier to get help than I expected, I can't help but think I should have been to the doctors ages ago. I've got another appointment at the end of the month to see how things are going.

I've not spoken to my employers about it, and I don't plan on it either. It has affected my work and if it continues to then I probably will need to but hopefully it won't be necessary.

You probably know this but Citalopram is a long term thing. Every time the quacks up your dose finding the right level you will probably feel a lot worse for a week or two. From when you start taking it - it may take a couple of months to maximize its effects. While things are settling down you may well swing from feeling great to feeling awful and back again on a fairly regular basis. Similarly most of those nasty side effects I won't mention here should go away after a month or two. Citalopram is long term - stick with it. When it starts to make you feel better your doctor will want to keep you on it for 3-6 months. Don't just stop taking it - its needs to be a gradual wind down process. Be aware that you may go from being worried and depressed and anxious about everything and anything, then with citalopram not really giving a toss about anything :)

All the best.
 
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Soldato
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Thats sounds like my life minus the cats, its hard work having a partener with depression. I have never had depression myself but to live with someone who at one time seemed totaly normal and watch them become a total loon is very hard. It was loon toon time here just a few days ago. :(
 
Associate
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My Mother suffers from depression and has done for the last 10 or so years, unfortunately our family is not the most understanding and often we feel she is just the cause of any problems within the family simply because of the things she says or does.

Basically speaking she has everything she wants and needs, they are quite well off, have a lovely home and 5 amazing grandchildren, but none of this matters.

She can be the most horrible person i have ever met, she says some ridiculously nasty things about my and my brothers wives, she is nasty to her friends etc and makes things up about our kids (says they said/did things that they didnt etc)

From my perspective her actions have made me completely unemotional towards anybody or anything, my brother and his wife basically despise her and continuously argue/fall out with her, they have no sympathy for her whatsoever.

The biggest problem we face is the good days, simply because they throw you completely off balance, so one day she is calling you worse than ****, the next day she calls round for a cuppa and brings a present for the kids, we never know what mood she will be in so we try to only go once a week to see her and only if my dad is there as he is a somewhat calming influence.

Its horrible to say it but we would honestly be better off if she wasnt in our lives, my wife and i would not argue, we wouldnt dread our weekly visit and i might be able to get on mith my brother who seems to hate me because i dont hate my mother!

In all of this my dad is the only person who tries to help her, the doctors just prescribe a different drug each time she goes, my dad tries to talk to her about how she's feeling etc and gets no response.

She needs Psyciatric help of some sort but to be honest i dont want to be the person who sets those wheels in motion.
 
Caporegime
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Is this something that you honestly believe to be true? I would argue to the contrary; it leaves you feeling weak and exhausted, in my experience.
I couldn't agree more. I wish I felt tired and unmotivated for more reasons then there is simply a chemical imbalance in my head, but there you go.
 
Man of Honour
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I've wrote about this loads of times on here before.

Back in 1988 I was that bad that I was sectioned into a Mental Hospital called Cheddleton.
I spent a month in there and then weekly visits to a shrink and group shrink.
By September of that year I was ready to top myself and picked out the very day.
I took the day off work, wrote 4 suicide letters and sat down to have my last meal before going down to the train track.
I turned on the TV and Kilroy's programme was on which I had never seen before.
On the programme he had loads of little kids who were dying of cancer and wanted a last wish before they died.
My life changed forever - the end.
 

Mat

Mat

Soldato
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I'm being treated for depression at the moment, I've been on 20mg of Citalopram for the last 3 weeks or so. I was getting a side effects from it like mid nausea and trouble sleeping, but they seem to be fading now.

It's not really long enough to be sure what effect it's been having but I have been feeling a lot better the last few days which is promising. I found the GP was quite helpful, it was certainly easier to get help than I expected, I can't help but think I should have been to the doctors ages ago. I've got another appointment at the end of the month to see how things are going.

I've not spoken to my employers about it, and I don't plan on it either. It has affected my work and if it continues to then I probably will need to but hopefully it won't be necessary.

I was on 20mg of Citalopram for about 18 months not long ago and I think it did help but you mustn't rely on it alone, you must try and get some sort of counselling to go along with it really.

The drugs will help the immediate situation and help get you on a more even keel but it is the counselling that will actually help deal with the underlying problem. If you only do the drugs you risk getting into a cycle of ups and downs where the pills will bring you up but once you come off them, if the problems are still there you will just head downwards again and need to go back on the drugs.

I did a course of CBT which was the type of counselling that I needed, but there are other types. Talk to your doc about that.

My only issue with Citalopram was that I came off too quickly and suffered serious dizzy spells, which is rather dangerous when you're commuting 50 minutes to work in the car! I had to go back on them to come off a lot more slowly; down to 10mg for longer.
 

J.B

J.B

Soldato
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My housemate used to go out with a bipolar guy.

The long and short of it is she doesnt have a lot of confidence anyway and isnt very forthcoming with emotions. His constant flucations meant they had to end it, it was just too stressful for both parties.

Was a real eye opener as Id never met anyone with a disorder like that before.
 
Soldato
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Generally I believe we're all as strong as we have to be in life...

...even those who think they are weak, or ill with depression have a strength 'normal' people wouldn't comprehend.


A quick nod and a smile to everyone who has commented so far ;)

Citalopram was what she had to start off with, but after a couple of months with it, steadily increasing the dose, she had to come off it as the side effects had continued to an unacceptable degree. Eventually she got put back on Ventoflaxine (sp? she's had this before some years back) which can only be prescribed by a consultant psychiatrist now, due to it's ability to send people mad if they stop taking it too quickly :eek:

To be fair, reading back what I wrote in my post, it can come across as worse than it is. But having said that I don't think I exaggerated anything. I guess to me it kind of seems 'normal' to deal with it after so much time.

Perhaps a more succinct way of saying it would be as follows: We all do the things we do for ourselves and the people we care about, because they are the people we hold most dear. Sometimes there is very little a person won't do, or put up with for the sake of those they love. If you look closely enough you can see it everywhere you look.
Perhaps a thought worth noting for all those who do suffer from depression - all the things that make life worth living are all around you; you just have to see them and reach out for them.

No matter the hand you have been dealt. It is what it is and you can choose to either fall or let the wind catch under your wings and soar.

That sounds really cheesy and not a little sanctimonious :p but really, what other life do you have? And how much of it can you let tick by with every heartbeat? We all have a choice about our lives and what we do with them, to a greater or lesser extent.

Most simply the choices are these: YES or NO. Yes to life, or No to life.

Sometimes it falls to those of us who say 'yes', to help along those who say 'no' or cannot make a decision for themselves. I kind of like to think that's the way things ought to be. It's not a perfect situation; but nonetheless, it is all we have, therefore it is right. I've always looked on it like it's what being human and alive is all about - the people around you and what you might mean to them after the sum of your days. It's prosaic but correct to say it's about doing the right thing for those you care for, even if they don't thank you for it at the time.




@ UncleBob:
Hang in there fella. What you describe is one of the primary reasons we don't have any kids... despite my assertion above, really, it's not something either of us have any longing for due to the inevitable consequences of 9 months without medication... You're a braver man than I :D Best of luck with the C-section.
 
Soldato
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Social anxiety disorder. It starts so subtly at first that you don't even realise it, all of a sudden you start to feel slightly anxious in certain situations, small things at first like answering a question in class so you avoid doing it, then it begins to happen in other situations such as talking to teachers, so you avoid doing that too. Then it starts to become much more pervasive, anxiety when meeting strangers, going into a shop, even talking to friends and family. Of course the intensity gradually increases, what starts as general unease in the beggining starts to manifest itself physically, blushing (which makes the anxiety much worse), heart palpitations, nausea, sweating, stuttering, shaking, and in extreme situations panic attacks which consist of derealisation, dizziness and light headedness along with a pulse of >200bpm which makes you think you're having a heart attack. Being asked do a presentation is like recieving a death sentence, feeling sick and anxious even months before it's due but bizarrely you still don't even realise you have a problem, after all everyone gets nervous when doing a presentation right?

This is what smoking too much cannabis started doing to me, I know some people spend their whole lives smoking it and never have any mental problems arise from it. But for me this is what started happening, thankfully stopping smoking has pretty much returned me to how I was before the smoking, can't be sure though I forgot how it was to feel normal for a long time.

What I experienced pales in comparison to some of the stories some of you have shared.
 
Soldato
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I'm bipolar, as is my mum. I've been on medication for around 10 years now. I can safely say that without the support of my wonderful wife, I doubt I would be here and whilst I have come pretty close to leaving this over-populated, sad planet of ours, it's my wife who has always dragged me back.

Thankfully, my cycles are quite far apart, with mania being short lived (which believe me, are the worst ones). My mum on the other hand cycles rapidly and is much more problematic as you can never be quite sure where you are with her on any given day. Your money is safer betting on me being miserable than what mood she happens to be in :p

I'm on various medications, the most dangerous of which is Lithium. I have to have regular checkups at the doctors as it can cause long term damage.

As for my employer, they are pretty damn good. I've had no problems with them and they are very understanding of my situation. I did have to quit my job in IT and move into accounting (yawn), but it pays the bills and, more importantly, I am not in a pressured environment.
 
Soldato
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I don't know about others, but reading this puts my life, and its small problems, into perspective.

I don't know how to say thais without is possibly being read as patronising, which is not in any way my intention, but it is an amazing achievement and says a lot about your charachter to deal with this and come out of it a better person. Also those who deal with people who have depression.

Sincerely i wish you all the best.

Every person has their own problems, people judge the importance of those problems subjectively and it is only natural to overstate theit importance, sometimes taking a look around to see what other people are dealing with makes your problem seem all but insignificant.

I do hope this thread always remains on these forums, just to give some people real perspective.
 
Associate
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I used to suffer from depression, about three and a bit years ago was my lowest moment.

It started from problems at work that I began to feel I was being blamed for things that were going wrong and were totally out of control. I also had a load of responsibilities taken away from me that made me feel like I wasn't trusted or cared about all that much..

Also I was having problems at home in that my gf was at home from work with depression herself and finding it hard to adjust to her tablets.

I wound up going onto the sick and becoming increasingly agoraphobic, and that caused me to ignore mail and miss a deadline for providing my workplace with a sicknote which meant I lost my job.

Fast forward a few months and I was on mirtazapine, feeling a lot more stable but not so much myself unfortunately.. financial problems seemed to be getting worse so I decided to try and go back to work - and for me it was the best thing I could have done.

Five months into my new job I'm feeling VASTLY better, and I applied for and was selected to visit Antarctica as part of a partnership my employer has with 2041 - explorer Robert Swan's organisation dedicated to the preservation of Antarctica.

The whole experience changed my life and made me look at the world and myself a different way. And I got to meet gentoo penguins.

So I came off the Mirtazapine (which has to be done the correct way, anyone reading this see your gp) and now I feel better about myself and my life than ever. Sure I have bad days but I find I can shrug them off now.
 
Caporegime
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I know that feeling only too well! The missus has severe clinical depression, but fortunately she responds well to Citalopram.

Unfortunately it is contraindicated in pregnancy so i've been on the receiving end of unmedicated major depressive episodes for the past 8 months and at times it is only knowing how much better she is when able to medicate that has kept me from walking. Well, that and the fact she's carrying our first little lad :)

At the moment I'm working 10pm-6am, getting home at 6.30am, getting the kids breakfast, taking them to school, cleaning the house, take her to any doctors appointments, do the shopping, collect the kids from school and then keep the kids entertained because she can't cope with them being boisterous or noisy without cracking up. Most weekdays I'm lucky if I get a couple of hours sleep a day.

Whilst she's been pregnant I've also redone the entire garden, built the kids a playhouse, built a 13' x 11' summerhouse, bricked up a doorway and window and fitted a new kitchen.

I can't wait til she's had the kid and remedicated - I'll probably be the only dad in the hospital to find having to cope with a newborn as relaxing...
Supposed to be having a cesarian on the 28th, so fingers crossed.

You deal with all of this on a couple of hours sleep a day..I honestly don't know how you do it. You're a credit to your family.
 
Soldato
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I think I probably suffer from a less severe variant of SAD after glancing at some of the symptoms. I don't have panic attacks or anything like that but I can get quite anxious in certain social situations.
 
I have been through some very heavy stuff, I am not going to say what. I was not aware I was "depressed" until a friend told me I had all the symptoms. Went to my Doc's who perscribed me a certain tablet which has worked. I now feel like I did ten years ago and once more have a zest for life.

Most people I know who are being treated for depression have to go through various different types of tablets before the right one is found. I think I was lucky. It does have a couple of side effects but they are managable more so than my feelings were.
 
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