Okay... I ordered a t-shirt from 8Ball for my friend, for an upcoming Tool concert... but apparently it was out of stock (which they told me AFTER purchase) sending me the following e-mail... Okay, that's cool. But after 21 or so days I get curious and send this... to which they reply... so, I'm a little curious about this so I reply... Ooooh, the skills I have learned in SC have the power to scorch eh?... so I get the following in response... And lets face it, that means absolutely nothing - he is telling me to **** Off and Die and I'm not standing for it. This is where you, OcUK come into play. I want people to suggest what I should reply with, bonus points for sarcasm and no obvious insults allowed, your answer may also be in the format of a picture...
Dear 8Ball. Bear in mind I have posted a thread on OcUK GD for advice and help. God only knows what they will be plotting. You're not allergic to mustard are you?
Get him to post a list of sources to backup his claim that they will "probably" arrive in time for the gig then pull apart the words he has used by posting definations from dictionary.com
Many thanks for your vehement reply. Yes, it certainly was 'unexpected' when I found it to be out of stock, especially as you had already found that my bank account was not suffering from the same predicament. I prefer not to work on likelihoods, doing so would result in mild agoraphobia. Instead, a firm date that you are receiving this shirt back in stock would be of great assistance, so that I can be in for the delivery. Although, if I start to work on your likelihoods, that may no longer be an issue. Yours tentatively CBS
"Dear 8Ball, Im sure that by the time my t-shirt is in stock my credit card company will probably pay you, possibly for the full amount. I am now definately telling you that my t-shirt will be here for the gig or you will definately have lost out on a sale. yours sincerely, a possible customer" daven
"Your response is inadequate. The purpose of my enquiry was to establish whether or not I will receive the t-shirt in time for the concert. In order to ascertain whether or not this is likely to happen you will need to confirm shipping dates with your supplier in order to confirm whether or not the order can be shipped to me in time. Once you have carried out my instructions above, report back to me in a timely manner".
Tell them to give you a definite date or cancel your order. Asking GD for advice is not likely to make your tshirt come any quicker I assure you.
"Dear Sir / Madam WHERE'S MY GOD DAMN T-SHIRT!! I WANT IT NOOOOWWWWW! MUMMY MAKE THE NASTY MAN GIVE ME A SHIRT!! Yours Sincerly 5 year old " That could work! You could always just cancel, and if they come back in stock re-order.