Soldato
- Joined
- 14 Jan 2009
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- 4,325
Yes, I have lots of good female freinds.
Poll: Can girls and guys be 'just good' friends?
- Thread starter IwantanewPC
- Start date
How long has it been since you split? Thing is we are part of the same circle of friends, one big group of us and we were the only 2 'a couple' in it, so i'm going to see her when we go out to WHP and Sankeys etc, we both bought a load of tickets together lol!
It's not long distance when she was at Uni, only a 20 min car drive so wasn't a problem, and she comes home every weekend to work. So that wouldnt have mattered.
I'm being civil with her now, like when we first split we had a couple of big arguements but the best thing ive realised is to just be normal with her if i'm around her and see what happens.
I know mate, i'm not being optimistic and think it was kinda silly for her to say it if she didnt possibly think it.
But obviously there is a lot more to it than i've let on in here from both sides which means I don't think i'll ever be out of her life, maybe I won't get with her now, but we might in the future.
I am just going to try and get on with my life anyway, i've been hanging around with my other friends at home more now that the majority have gone to Uni.
But i'm making some more lifestyle changes, going to start cycling around places now to take my mind off things, going to night school for some teaching courses as i'm going to apply for a PGCE course. Just need to get out and meet new people (mainly women haha) get some more friends as sad as it sounds LOL!
Caporegime
Yes, I have a lot of girl friends, I don't sleep with them all, or feel the need to sleep with them all, I'm capable of having a relationship with a woman that doesn't end in sex.
Yes of course but only till you've smashed her pasty & then it's move on to the next "friend".
Soldato
About 3 weeks / a month i'd guess. Yeah me and her are in the same big circle of friends aswell which makes it quite awkward, but she hasn't come out clubbing with the group since me and her stopped talking so i haven't had to really deal with the awkwardness as such yet.
I don't think there will be any awkwardness, just not easy to blot someone out completely when i'm going to be going out with them on nights out every week or so!
Soldato
ofcourse you can be just friends......would you really want to sleep with some of the women out there?(dont think of the hot ones).
Soldato
- Joined
- 17 Jun 2004
- Posts
- 3,691
No
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Thinking back i have probably thought about getting it on with most of my old female friends, but just as a spur of the moment thing 
, not as a serious thought.
, not as a serious thought.
- Joined
- 15 Jan 2006
- Posts
- 388
Me and my mate were having a discussion the other night about texting..
We've got this other mate who is always texting this girl, like atleast 2-3 times everyday usually. He says he has no interest in her whatsoever (although he used to, nothing happened, and now he says they are just friends) but we don't believe him.
Initially the guy I was discussing this with disagreed. Was quite funny actually..
Him: 'Nah, it's possible.. I used to text 'girl A' all the time..'
Me: 'Erm yeah.. but weren't you trying to get in to her pants?'
Him: '........ yeah. But what about 'girl B'?'
Me: 'Mate, you're trying to get in to her pants too!!!'
I certainly don't text girls that often unless I am interested in them, and my mate agreed. We couldn't think of a single person either of us know that texts a girl everyday just out of pure friendliness.
We've got this other mate who is always texting this girl, like atleast 2-3 times everyday usually. He says he has no interest in her whatsoever (although he used to, nothing happened, and now he says they are just friends) but we don't believe him.
Initially the guy I was discussing this with disagreed. Was quite funny actually..
Him: 'Nah, it's possible.. I used to text 'girl A' all the time..'
Me: 'Erm yeah.. but weren't you trying to get in to her pants?'
Him: '........ yeah. But what about 'girl B'?'
Me: 'Mate, you're trying to get in to her pants too!!!'
I certainly don't text girls that often unless I am interested in them, and my mate agreed. We couldn't think of a single person either of us know that texts a girl everyday just out of pure friendliness.
+1 I can have a completely platonic relationship with a women if she's not attractive. Unfortunatly, if the women is attractive, then i am programmed to find for a way to bang her brains out. Sorry
Mate, I've just been through something that seems amazingly similar to what you are describing. She was even in my circle of friends too like you, which makes it even more difficult.
Best advice I can give you is play it cool. When you speak don't mention anything about you two as a couple or anything related to that, act as if you are getting on with life and enjoying it. I'm not saying that will bring her back to you, but it will give you the best chance.
Unfortunately when I was dumped I flipped out and acted in the worse way possible. Could I have gotten her back if I'd acted the way I've described to you? I really think so, which is painful for me to say and think about.
Lost someone I loved and cared about more than anything in the world. Miss her every single day.I had something similar to this recently. A girl I had been reasonably good friends with. We both found eachother super haaaawt and she ended up cheating on her boyfriend with me. At first it'd be a pull in the club, then it'd happen again a few months later.
I told her how I felt and that I wanted to be with her. I only did this because it was how I felt, but I had also been told she wasn't happy with her boyfriend but didn't want to be single which was probaly why she stayed with him.
Long storey short, we did the dirty. a lot. For three weeks. I was convinced she was/had left her boyfriend. Turns out she still 'loved' him and thought that was a good enough reason to stay with somebody.
The killer line was 'we are meant to be together, it's just not our time. If and when I'm ready and I'm single I'll let you know. But if you're not single and happy I won't act on it'.
Basically 'If i royally **** up with my boyfriend I'll come back'. At the time I was like 'seems fair'. But realised that's just stringing somebody along with potentially false hope, for something that may or may not happen. I'm not going to be her backup/contingency plan. She was a tool and has now lost all her friends and I've not spoken to her in months.
What I'm trying to say is that it might happen, but it might not.
Prepare for the worst, assume the worst, it's over. So as difficult as it is move on with your life, try to and find somebody else. You can't move on if you've still got that little peice of you that want's them back in my opinion.
I'm sorry for your situation but am just telling it how it is.
Chin up
Soldato
- Joined
- 5 Feb 2006
- Posts
- 3,524
She's gone. Blates wants to go to uni and have a laugh with out having to worry about hurting you etc. On the plus side if it doesn't work she'll come running back for sex and stuff but only for that until she does find some one
Soldato
Been there mate, believe me the best thing you can do is try to be a good friend and not to let it get to you (infront of her at least).
If it's meant to be you'll get back together again.
Yes it's possible to be just friends. Obviously there can be friends you might want more with but equally there are friends that you don't think of in that way at all. It's all about individuals. I've usually had more male friends than female friends over the years, but rarely have I ever found male friends sexually attractive, even though they have been attractive guys.
Maybe women are more difficult to please
Maybe women are more difficult to please
I text a girl at least every other day, normally more, she's a friend and that's all. Was at her house for the first time a while ago and her younger brother said "Is this your new boyfriend?" (him being about 8) and my instant reaction was "god no", and hers was similer. She's not at all ugly or anything, very pretty girl, just couldn't ever picture us being "together". Would be odd.