Man of Honour
Ah, well then...
Cheating
- Thread starter qwerty
- Start date
Soldato
Speaking from experience ( of being cheated on ) ..
If and when this relationship ends and she finds out from SOMEONE ELSE .. she is going to feel both very hurt and very stupid
She could also be affected for many years to come ... she may well have trust issues
I got cheated on about 4/5 years ago and found out from his friends afterwards - It made me feel stupid for not picking up on it myself and it has given me trust issues
Even though I trust Desmo 110% I still get the unexplainable niggly feeling and I believe it's down to the fact that I didn't find out myself .. makes me feel that if he could do it ( my ex ) without me catching on anyone can do it to me no matter how trustworthy I think they are ... Thankfully Desmo is a very understanding man and with his patience these issues are going away albeit slowly
Please think very carefully about what you do as it WILL affect her future
If and when this relationship ends and she finds out from SOMEONE ELSE .. she is going to feel both very hurt and very stupid
She could also be affected for many years to come ... she may well have trust issues
I got cheated on about 4/5 years ago and found out from his friends afterwards - It made me feel stupid for not picking up on it myself and it has given me trust issues
Even though I trust Desmo 110% I still get the unexplainable niggly feeling and I believe it's down to the fact that I didn't find out myself .. makes me feel that if he could do it ( my ex ) without me catching on anyone can do it to me no matter how trustworthy I think they are ... Thankfully Desmo is a very understanding man and with his patience these issues are going away albeit slowly
Please think very carefully about what you do as it WILL affect her future
You have to tell her the truth and asap.
Like others have said I would be too paranoid about 'Joe' letting it slip etc etc...
If you love someone you don't do that. Given the opportunity or not - you just don't. End of.
If the other girl hasn't already let it spread like wildfire it sounds like someone is bound to find out sooner or later and it will get back to your girlf.
Cheating is a bad thing, she doesn't deserve you and if she chooses to stay with you, you are one VERY lucky man, but don't think in the back of her mind she isn't thinking 'what if he does it again'.
Good luck mate.
BB x
Like others have said I would be too paranoid about 'Joe' letting it slip etc etc...
If you love someone you don't do that. Given the opportunity or not - you just don't. End of.
If the other girl hasn't already let it spread like wildfire it sounds like someone is bound to find out sooner or later and it will get back to your girlf.
Cheating is a bad thing, she doesn't deserve you and if she chooses to stay with you, you are one VERY lucky man, but don't think in the back of her mind she isn't thinking 'what if he does it again'.
Good luck mate.
BB x
BrightonBelle said:
That's the problem with all the 'tell her and get it over and done with' posts. Things will NEVER be the same again after I tell her. She'll never forget it, even if I get over it, she'll never trust me out on my own, she'll be able to justify it if she finds herself in the same position.
And piggymon, your post has made me realise how much of a boy I still am (as opposed to a man).
qwerty said:
Yes but if you don't it will be on your conscience forever and you will always be wondering 'is she going to find out?'.
I know I couldn't live with that, which I guess is why I wouldn't be there in the first place.
Men and women are terribly different though.
BB x
Associate
firstly i think it depends on what you class as cheating
there's a bit of a difference between a drunken snog with the wrong girl, and being up all night nailing her to the wall
the first may be forgivable, the second is probably never
and secondly, might it happen again?
if the answer to that is yes,
you need to tell her, and maybe you need to end it
becuase that is not a fair basis for a relationship
i cheated on a bf
i had fallen out of love with him months ago, and fell in love with someone else
i feel guilty and sorry - but i wouldn't have changed what happened
my 'partner in crime' has been my bf for the last three months, and he means more to me than anyone before ever has
would i cheat on him? no, never
he is everything i could ask for, or could ever have dreamed of, and i would never want to jeopardise that
there's a bit of a difference between a drunken snog with the wrong girl, and being up all night nailing her to the wall
the first may be forgivable, the second is probably never
and secondly, might it happen again?
if the answer to that is yes,
you need to tell her, and maybe you need to end it
becuase that is not a fair basis for a relationship
i cheated on a bf
i had fallen out of love with him months ago, and fell in love with someone else
i feel guilty and sorry - but i wouldn't have changed what happened
my 'partner in crime' has been my bf for the last three months, and he means more to me than anyone before ever has
would i cheat on him? no, never
he is everything i could ask for, or could ever have dreamed of, and i would never want to jeopardise that
qwerty said:
should have thought about that before having your fun, shouldnt you? Ah well, live and learn. The great thing is, if you dont tell her, you get to be a spineless cheat, underserved of respect or trust from anyone and never to feel good about yourself ever again! So, what time are you going to spill the beans...?
Soldato
My, you seem remarkably miserable today 
, do you need a boob op? 
, do you need a boob op? 
Soldato
TBH m8, looking at your situation i would probably tell her, you obviously don't like her very much. Might be a blessing in disguise? If you really did like her and it was a very stupid drunken thing, it'd be a different story then, i would say don't tell her but make sure it never happens again because there is no point hurting her.
TO THE PERSON A FEW POSTS UP WHO CHEATED ON HER BF
How long did you carry going out with the guy you had cheated on while not lovin him? what were you like towards him?
TO THE PERSON A FEW POSTS UP WHO CHEATED ON HER BF
How long did you carry going out with the guy you had cheated on while not lovin him? what were you like towards him?
Platinum Pete said:
No i'm afraid I don't agree with that at all. Lets say for example that your mum was a supermodel and a sex goddess. Are you saying that for a short term reward of sex you are incapeable of saying no to a sexual relationship with someone
I'm sorry but for me cheating on a partner is like sleeping with brothers/sisters mums/dads. Its a no brainer. You just don't do it. I have no desire to do either one and i've never cheated on anyone.Its all a matter of how much respect you have for people. For everone who trys to justify cheating via a situation, alcohol or whatever, surely you are just trying to make yourself feel better and make it so you don't look so bad in front of other people. But what goes around comes around. When you are on the receiving end of it try to justify it to yourself then.
And as for all the short term long term stuff. Surely, if you are in a long term relationship and both parties are honest then sex shouldn't be a problem short term. Because sex is part of any healthy long term relationship. Its only when the sex stops most people feel the need to cheat instead of sorting problems out that are stopping the sex, hence taking a much easier route to satisfy their needs.
EDIT: Incase anyone takes offense to what I say its all my opinion and i'm not trying to pick any fights. I know this place is more volatile than petrol lately lol
Last edited:
Gaygle said:
on behalf of goldilocks:
i shouldn't have even cheated, we should've broken up way before but i didnt know how to do it without hurting him. it was only a couple of days; i realised that it had to be done. i couldn't be with him when i knew that what i wanted was someone else. it's hard to hurt other people, but it's harder to keep hurting yourself
Soldato
qwerty said:I searched and there doesn't seem to be a cheating thread on here. I just want to know peoples opinions on it.
Should you tell the people involved, or try to keep it secret forever?
If people get suspicious should you come clean or go deeper with the lies?
Is it ever justifiable?
How do I stop thinking about it and how bad a person I am?
Never tell the people, unless you're a **** like me and you want to upset your girlfriend who you are splitting up with.
Laugh it off with even more lies (if you're good at it).
Easily justifiable as long as you don't get REALLY deep into a relationship, keep it kinda casual with both parties.
You're not a bad person, you just have a short attention span
My helpful advice for this evening.
Associate
I have lost all faith in the male species just from the above post. 
Soldato
goldilocks said:
Sorry to get all high and mighty, but how can you say you would never cheat on your current bf? What happens if the same situation comes around again? I would never claim I was un-capable of cheating on someone as I know what I am like, but as always if I like/loved the girl then they would be no question as it would never cross my mind.
Pitty I've never been in love.
KaHn
TripleT said:Never tell the people, unless you're a **** like me and you want to upset your girlfriend who you are splitting up with.
Laugh it off with even more lies (if you're good at it).
Easily justifiable as long as you don't get REALLY deep into a relationship, keep it kinda casual with both parties.
You're not a bad person, you just have a short attention span
My helpful advice for this evening.
Lmao, best advice ever.
Associate
Hard dilemma, can easily happen. I wouldn't say it makes you a worse person becuase of it.