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Couple of Jokes...

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Jabb3r, 29 May 2006.

  1. Jabb3r


    Joined: 16 May 2006

    Posts: 52

    Well fancy havin a lol so post some jokes and I athink it's only fair I attempt to raise a smile too so heres 2 to start.

    1. 2 Irish men in a bed, 1 says to the other...

    "I don't think much of this wife swapping"

    2. What you call a welshman with a stick up his bum?

    A taffy apple.

    NOTE: not sposed to be offensive/racist, it's just a bit of comrardary humour.

    Lets have um. :)
  2. SideWinder


    Joined: 12 Jun 2004

    Posts: 149,442

    Location: NW5

    I liked the first one. :o
  3. alexakasloth


    Joined: 13 Aug 2004

    Posts: 7,756

    Location: Sussex

    I didn't get the second :o
  4. SideWinder


    Joined: 12 Jun 2004

    Posts: 149,442

    Location: NW5

    Sigh. I think taffy is slang for something Welsh...heard it before. :o
  5. Trifid


    Joined: 18 Feb 2006

    Posts: 8,427

    I don't get the second one. The first one barely put a smile on my face.
  6. Jabb3r


    Joined: 16 May 2006

    Posts: 52

    This is working opposite, but try this...

    This dog walks into this butchers and barks twice, the butchers looks and the dog swings it's head to the right. On his left ear is a note saying "half pound of streaky bacon please" on a bag kept on with an elastic band so the butcher still a bit bewildered weighs out the bacon, the dog barks again this time swingin his head to the left with another bag with money in and a note saying...

    "Put change back in here" the butcher thinks "I'm in" and short changes the dog a pound, but the dog doesn't leave and barks again. The butcher thinks what a clever dog, he knows I've short changed him. The butchers impressed and puts the rest of the money in the bag and the dog leaves.

    The butcher intruigued by the dog follows it all through town, over a field and eventually to a house, butcher stays close by and watches the dog put it's paw over the gate, unlock it and walk up the path.

    The dog gets to the door and barks. The door opens, a man comes out and kicks the dog up the a**e

    The butcher sees this and rushes towards the house.

    He tells the man "This dog just came into my shop with money, notes for bacon and even knew when I short changed him!, he's bought the bacon back to you after walking through the town, over a field, opened a gate, walked to the door and barked to be let in!

    Why did you kick the dog up the a**e???"

    The man looks at the butcher and says...

    "This is the second time this week he's forgot his key"

  7. -|ScottFree|-

    Wise Guy

    Joined: 23 Jun 2005

    Posts: 2,495

    Location: On the Edge*

    LOL Liked that one above !!! :D
  8. yermum

    Perma Banned

    Joined: 16 Sep 2005

    Posts: 2,205

    Location: Buckinghamshire

    loved it...............mostly because I knew a dog that used to go out every morning to get the paper for his disabled owner. Don't think he had a front door key though.

    Thanks for the smile.
  9. Jabb3r


    Joined: 16 May 2006

    Posts: 52

    Yey I cracked it.

    *takes a bow* :p
  10. VeNT


    Joined: 9 Jan 2003

    Posts: 20,687

    Location: Cornwall

  11. iSam


    Joined: 12 Aug 2004

    Posts: 6,098

    Hmm, yea they are alrite, took me a while to get the second one mind you! :p
  12. Chunky


    Joined: 26 Oct 2005

    Posts: 570

    dog one is good
  13. Tommy B


    Joined: 23 Nov 2004

    Posts: 8,027

    Location: The Place To Be

    As this is the internet I have no reason to be embaressed but WTF I don't get the dog one. Someone explain. Might be the fact I've had too much to drink but I doubt it :(
  14. [SKR]Phoenix

    Wise Guy

    Joined: 12 Feb 2003

    Posts: 2,441

    Raised a much need smile! Been one of those days and for some reason beer isn't helping tonight.
  15. Jabb3r


    Joined: 16 May 2006

    Posts: 52

    Try again in the mornin ;)
  16. The Pat

    Wise Guy

    Joined: 11 Apr 2006

    Posts: 1,861

    Location: London

    First 2 were meh, the dog one was good.