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Dilema... Female problems :(

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by agnes, 1 Oct 2009.

  1. agnes

    Capodecina

    Joined: 1 Dec 2006

    Posts: 16,164

    Location: Amsterdam, NL

    Right, me and my current gf have been together for about 6 months, and at no point have I really had a 'spark' with her. Yet I love spending time with her, the bedroom play is great and come on, she lets me play the 360, orders pizza and joins in with commentary! "Quick! There are a pack of grunts coming up on your right!" hehe.

    Problem is, I'm worried as I have never been a relationship kind of guy, more of a 1 nighter. So how should this feel? I know for a fact she is crazy about me which is worrying as I care enough that I don't want to hurt her in anyway possible.

    She had a little bit of a funny one when we were in a club on Friday, a couple of lasses came up to her and noticed we were fart arsing about so assumed we were mates (we were talking to each other loudly in accents from True Blood acting like children lol, still makes me laugh thinking about it) and asked about me... Obviously she got a little peeved off as it wasn't the first time it has happened...

    So she gets jealous when females ask about me or talk to me in bars??? Normal?

    Anyway, what should I do?

    ags
     
  2. Bunka

    Soldato

    Joined: 18 Jan 2005

    Posts: 5,540

    Location: West London

    Yes.

    If you're properly into a girl and a random dude is thinking that she's available and asking her about it, then it naturally does make you a weird mix of proud / ****ed off.
     
  3. DampCat

    Capodecina

    Joined: 26 Feb 2007

    Posts: 13,799

    Location: Manchestah

    I'm having trouble understanding your complaint.

    She's the perfect girl aside from a bit of jealousy (which everyone grows out of)? Is there something specific that's bothering you, or are you just unsure if this is how "love" should feel?
     
  4. mattyprice4004

    Soldato

    Joined: 24 Apr 2007

    Posts: 7,345

    Location: Southport

    Punch her in the ovaries!

    Ahem, tbh that all sounds perfectly normal, women can get incredibly protective and this does indeed start to get irritating sometimes :(

    I'd just reassure your missus that it's her you want, and to ignore other women that attempt to make you smash their pasty.
     
  5. agnes

    Capodecina

    Joined: 1 Dec 2006

    Posts: 16,164

    Location: Amsterdam, NL

    Yea, it's not a complaint, just a confusion. What should I feel? Anything at all? It's driving me nuts, as it stands, it feels like a best mate with benefits...

    ags
     
  6. Saytan

    Mobster

    Joined: 18 Oct 2002

    Posts: 4,560

    if it isnt spectacular, it isnt worth it. simple.
     
  7. Marky

    Capodecina

    Joined: 16 Apr 2007

    Posts: 23,390

    Location: UK

    So you've found an awesome girl to be with but you are worried because you haven't felt a "spark"?!

    I hate you and I hate this post... :p
     
  8. knip

    Capodecina

    Joined: 28 Jun 2006

    Posts: 11,102

    Location: Somewhere in Bristol

    I would say that if you think you are wasting either of yours time, then life is too short, and let her move on to find someone who is crazy about her. Failing that sit down and talk to her and if shes happy with it not being all sparks and fireworks and just "ok" then fair enough.
     
  9. agnes

    Capodecina

    Joined: 1 Dec 2006

    Posts: 16,164

    Location: Amsterdam, NL

    Lol, I in no way intend that to be my intention, just need some guidance from the love guru's who have been in many relationships as this is my first proper one...

    ags
     
  10. DampCat

    Capodecina

    Joined: 26 Feb 2007

    Posts: 13,799

    Location: Manchestah

    Well, it depends who you ask. Some people don't like their partner and best friend to be the same person. Some people do.

    My girlfriend is my best friend, by a long way. Often i see something and i'm like "oh man i have to tell someone!", and if she isn't around... I end up not telling anyone. Nobody else gets it like she does.

    For me... if i'm going to spend the rest of my life with this girl, then the important thing is that we enjoy being together, having fun, doing the same things, arguing rarely and that we understand each other.

    I'd take that over the alternatives in a heartbeat. Give it time, see how you feel. Sounds like you dont have a "spark". You just have to decide if you're in this for the marathon, or if you would prefer a series of lustful flings... or whatever the alternative might be for you... whatever is is you're looking for.
     
  11. Busa

    Wise Guy

    Joined: 1 Dec 2007

    Posts: 1,471

    Its not going to last anyway and judging from your icq,msn etc etc etc..you like a bit of attention and she will only get more jealous.
     
  12. Marky

    Capodecina

    Joined: 16 Apr 2007

    Posts: 23,390

    Location: UK

    Just sounds to me you need to find your way out of the "one nighter" mentality and realise you might have someone special after all.
     
  13. Mr^B

    Mobster

    Joined: 25 Nov 2002

    Posts: 3,433

    Critical information missing from thread.

    1. OP's age.
    2. Pics
     
  14. gjrc

    Soldato

    Joined: 18 Oct 2002

    Posts: 6,830

    Location: London

    +1

    she sounds too good to be true, stop worrying and enjoy yourself!
     
  15. Guerrilla

    Soldato

    Joined: 27 Mar 2009

    Posts: 7,222

    Location: Middlesbrough

    This really, unless of course you feel that there is no chance of a future, in which case stringing her along will only make it worse.
     
  16. agnes

    Capodecina

    Joined: 1 Dec 2006

    Posts: 16,164

    Location: Amsterdam, NL

    Ummm, ok? So having online communication tools is a no no? Some how I think I will skip that advice.

    21 and no pics at work :(

    ags
     
  17. Stringy

    Mobster

    Joined: 2 Aug 2004

    Posts: 4,285

    Location: The moon

    Could you envisage living a happy life without her? Could you live with her for the rest of your life? Does the prospect of seeing her send shivers up your spine and does thinking about her make you smile to yourself?
    Above and many more are the sort of probing questions that hold the answers you seek!

    And yeah, the jealousy thing is more than normal if you're really into someone.
     
  18. Vonhelmet

    Caporegime

    Joined: 28 Jun 2005

    Posts: 48,107

    Location: On the hoods

    There is no problem here. Thread is mis-titled.
     
  19. DampCat

    Capodecina

    Joined: 26 Feb 2007

    Posts: 13,799

    Location: Manchestah

    Indeed.
     
  20. Voltar

    Soldato

    Joined: 2 Oct 2004

    Posts: 5,510

    Location: London, NW1

    Sounds like you're doing well for yourself...

    No 'spark'... Don't put pressure on yourself. 6 months in after all, doesn't mean that you have to be in love with each other.

    Just relax and enjoy it :)




    On a side note I wouldn't want my gf to be my best friend as well: I enjoy the difference.