Do you wanna be rich or happy?
- Thread starter seaviewuk
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Soldato
In the words of the song "Money can't buy you Love" and to be truly happy you need to be in Love, I know plenty of blokes that have got £££££ but they are single and hate it.
I would rather be poor and completely Loved up with the women of my dreams than rich and alone.
HEADRAT
I would rather be poor and completely Loved up with the women of my dreams than rich and alone.
HEADRAT
Old Turkey said:I had a similar view too ... It went along the lines of;
"Oh, I can do this this and that with x y and z and we can go to thingybob with doodar and then all go back to Janes and listen to some whatever and have finger foods ... "
Or
"Wow, spur of the moment thing! Lets go Skiing on the Piste !!" ...
Then I realised ... Oh ... I can't do this this and that with x y and z because they're doing chores, like shopping after a hard days work ... and we can't go to thingybob with doodar because she is working late again ... and going back to Janes to listen to whatever is starting to wear the group down, because for the past 5 days we've been having all this fun and they're burned out now and they're starting to fall behind at work ... and now theres resentment and envy because I can lay in and recover while they all have to go to work ...
Its all well and good this dream but if there is no one there to share the benefits of it with ... well ... its just that, a dream ...
If you win the Lottery or earn a lot of money or inherit a lot of money, you're going to probably become a lot more lonely .. because suddenly the thing that bound you with everyone else you knew, those commonalities, have vanished ... and you're now an alien ... and all those things you all dreamed of doing, that you can do, they still cannot ... and so you have no one to share the moments with ... unless you have a girlfriend or a wife ... and then its only you two, and you become lonely together ...
The only thing in common we would lose would be financial constraints. I'd still see my friends as much as I do now. I'd get more time to spend with family though as they wouldn't be working, and a lot of my friends do late night bar work so I'd be able to see them through the day. Hell, I'm sure I could spot the ones working in bars £12k a year to free up some of their time. Besides, if you get bored with the fact your friends are at work then I could start my own company, or learn some new skills, or do individual stuff.
Your arguement is invalid as I'd be able to see as much of my friends as I do now, only difference would be I can afford to pay for everyone to go to <insert cool place here> for the weekend instead of us hanging out in my tiny 2 bed flat.
Soldato
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- 18 Oct 2002
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personally i hate the term "money cant buy you happiness"
LIES LIES LIES ALL LIES
lots of cash = lots of happiness
as ive never had lots of cash i cant back up this claim but i imagine id be laughing a lot if i won the lottery.
LIES LIES LIES ALL LIES
lots of cash = lots of happiness
as ive never had lots of cash i cant back up this claim but i imagine id be laughing a lot if i won the lottery.
Soldato
- Joined
- 1 Dec 2003
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i'd much rather be happy than rich. and the reason i'd be happy is because i have good health. everything else is a bonus.
Associate
Murf said:
Oh my ... I think you're taking so much for granted and assuming a great deal.
You're going to lose a lot in common. The tiniest of details bind one another together and create common bonds. Its only when you really examine it that you notice that they do. If your financial situation changes, you are going to change. You may not notice, but others certainly will.
For instance, you no longer share similar dreams. Your old dream is a reality and you now have new dreams. You no longer share the same problems. Your old problems disappear and new ones arise. Etc.
You may find yourself being able to relate to your friends problems, because after all you have been there yourself, but what about them? ....... Are they going to be able to relate to your new problems? Your new dreams? Your new outlook? Your new life style? No ....... they will not ........ why? ........ they can't because they don't know what it is like!
That is what you have taken for granted ... and this is what you are assuming, in my view.
You are assuming that your friends want to spend more time with you. You are assuming your family members want you to give them a stack of money, that they want to quit their jobs and spend more time with you. You don't know that. You have no idea how family members might react to receiving a lot of money.
And what if they did want to spend more time with you? You don't know whether them seeing you and you seeing them for extended periods of time, with your new lifestyle, your new outlook, your new problems, etc, will add to the relationship or infact take from it. Don't assume it will simply be better. Have you ever just got sick and tired of someones company before? Boy .... I have.
And the most dangerous comments you have made, in my view, is the idea of putting your mates up on the Murf dole and spoiling them rotten ... You may think you are doing them a favour, but what will they think? Don't assume they will accept it, don't assume they will thank you for it and don't assume they will like you for it.
Apart from that, absolutely you can learn new skills, absolutely you can create a Business, do solitary activities ... by all means, do it! But don't think for one second that a life changing event will go by without actually changing your life! It will change your world forever.
I'd sooner be happy, than 'rich'.
Much of the desire for wealth is fuelled by society, 'person A' wants what 'person B' has , and feels inferior if he doesn't.
Personally, as long as I can go about my life the way I want to, I'm happy.
Much of the desire for wealth is fuelled by society, 'person A' wants what 'person B' has , and feels inferior if he doesn't.
Personally, as long as I can go about my life the way I want to, I'm happy.
Soldato
HEADRAT said:
Change that to "man of my dreams" and I completely agree with you.
Yup. I can't find anything I disagree with.Sic said:
And I especially agree with that. Suddenly finding yourself far wealthier than your friends puts a tremendous strain on friendships, and they have to be pretty strong to survive it, long-term.Old Turkey said:
If you gain a lot of money, your lifestyle changes. You may well have more time on your hands, you can drive expensive cars, you can easily afford expensive restaurants, good clothes, watches, jewelry, etc. Your friends can't, and if they try, they'll soon have their noses rubbed in the fact that they can't. So, either you have to pay for it all, or you start to move in circles and places they don't.
And if you try to pay for everything, some friends will come to assume that it's their right, and will expect it and will start to resent it if you decline. In fact, some will start to resent it even if you don't decline, since they have to rely on you to provide the kind of lifestyle you live as they have no chance of paying for it themselves, and will resent having to rely on you. You also risk starting to wonder if they actually are your mates, or just freeloading.
Yet more friends will distance themselves from you because they either won't be prepared to rely on you to pay for everything, or aren't prepared to risk you thinking they are just freeloading. They are probably, ironically, the real friends but their own pride and self-respect means a distance will develop.
The only way to ensure friends are with you, and able to afford the tinkgs you can, is to pay them for notional jobs, but then, you don't have friends, you have employees. Many people find it very hard to totally relax with the guy that pays their wages and, if you couch it as some kind of gift, they'll start to resent getting charity.
But whatever the reason you find yourself moving apart from friends, you do find it. Sure, you might retain some that are close enough to be secure in you using your wealth to pay for them, without either being embarrassed by it or resenting it, but it will (IMHO) be a minority and requires, as I said, a very strong friendship to survive that for long.
And if you do gain in wealth, the odds are that most people will move. You'll buy a big house somewhere, and by definition, it is usually in an area your mates can't afford. It might even be in a different country. You'll start to spend time abroad, especially in the dreary winter weather, whether it be skiing or parked on a tropical beach. Your friends won't be able to get time off work to spend several months in the sun, so either they have to quit their job, or you go without them. Either way, distance and resentment starts to crack the friendship if you aren't VERY careful.
Exactly as Old Turkey said, don't assume friends will accept 'help', or either thank you or like you for it.
Old Turkey strikes me as either quite perceptive, or been there and done that .... or both.
Soldato
Happy > Rich.
But if anyone's got a spare few quid knocking about, email in trust
But if anyone's got a spare few quid knocking about, email in trust
Soldato
What you having?Mr_L said:
Soldato
Here you go.Mr_L said:Guinness please!
Edit - Actually that picture makes me happy
Last edited:
I absolutely want to be happy far more than anything else. That obviously means having enough money to not have to fret about it too much. Having expensive things is nice, but nothing compared with being content with who you are and being with people you care about.
So, I think that, for me, very very little money would cause unhappiness, and that's the only way in which the money matters much. I've always found that, in my free time, I enjoy doing things that are cheap - reading a (library) book or chatting to friends, say - at least as much as doing anything that costs money.
So, I think that, for me, very very little money would cause unhappiness, and that's the only way in which the money matters much. I've always found that, in my free time, I enjoy doing things that are cheap - reading a (library) book or chatting to friends, say - at least as much as doing anything that costs money.