Engagement questions

Associate
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Which is fine... That's how it goes.
Might be slightly awkward if he'd have wanted to be asked, but that's between her and him.


Assuming she wants you to ask, you ask her which one she'd prefer you to approach...


Again, it's up to her and is a matter between her and her dad (and in this case her step, too).
If she's asked you not to, don't ask.

Whilst this was her wish I feel these things should be more of a mutual decision, marriage is a partnership after all :)
 
Man of Honour
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It's not exactly rocket science.

That's was funny, people don't like tradition but will still have the Dad walking her down the aisle :)

I guess that there’s tradition, and there’s stuff that went out with spats and detachable collars.
I’d hazard a guess that both of the women that I married would have deep sixed me if I’d either asked their fathers for permission to marry them, or even suggested that I should ask for their hand.
I imagine that every father of daughters expects that he’ll walk them down the aisle when they get married, and that almost every woman ever born looks forward to their dad doing that.
I don’t think for one minute that either dad, daughter, or groom buys into that “who giveth this woman” connerie, she’s no one’s property to be given away to anyone in the first place.
 
Associate
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1) I invited her Dad out for a drink, a bit awkward as I'd never just invited him out before so he knew I was going to ask and I knew that he knew, still took me about an hour to ask for his blessing though after a few drinks.

2) I'd only graduated uni a few months before so was on my first job after uni that was only £18k and I spent £500 so 2.8%

3) It was our four year anniversary so we had already planned to go to Bristol for the day, have a nice evening meal etc and I proposed to her at the end of the night at the top of a hill near Clifton suspension bridge.
 
Soldato
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1. Yes I phoned him up as he lives in New Zealand, and I am in London - he cried. :)
2. I initially used a ring from my great grandmother as a placeholder, then we went and designed one together at a jeweller friends place. - 3-5%
3. Took her to Wales on a pretense of a photography trip, went for a walk around a nature reserve and popped the question in overlooking a lake. Bottled getting down on one knee though!
 
Associate
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1. No and it never entered my head too

2. Didnt have a brass farthing to my name so she put it on her credit card

3. I was going through basic training in Army and I had my first day off about midway through the course. We met in London as I didnt have time to get home and back. I told her my posting was going to be Germany and that I didnt want a long distance relationship , did she feel she could handle being a squaddies wife ? She said yes as that was the only way we would be able to give the relationship a proper go. So we went and found her a ring she liked and as I said she put it on her credit card. We celebrated in some Steak House but only had salads as we couldnt afford anything else. Context , I was 18 and she was 19 and had been seeing each other a few months before my training started. So when my training finished and I was waiting to fly out to Germany we got married and we still are 33 years later
 
Man of Honour
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I guess that there’s tradition, and there’s stuff that went out with spats and detachable collars.
I’d hazard a guess that both of the women that I married would have deep sixed me if I’d either asked their fathers for permission to marry them, or even suggested that I should ask for their hand.
I imagine that every father of daughters expects that he’ll walk them down the aisle when they get married, and that almost every woman ever born looks forward to their dad doing that.
I don’t think for one minute that either dad, daughter, or groom buys into that “who giveth this woman” connerie, she’s no one’s property to be given away to anyone in the first place.

and that's where you discuss it with your future wife. "Since we're going to do a lot of stupid traditional stuff that everybody else does would you also like me to ask your Dad for your hand?", if the answer is no then don't do it.
My youngest should have got married on August 3rd but it's been shifted a year :( They have got every 'traditional' box ticked and it's costing a lot. Even though they had been living with each other for 4 years Dave still came and asked me and I cried :)
The other daughter will dispense with all tradition and just get married in a Registry Office with parents there and no white wedding dress. I hope he asks me but he'll do it in a really stupid way.
 
Caporegime
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1. Asked her mum with one of my best friends there (my wife's sister) in case of any language issues (my wife did the same when the sister's husband asked the mother). I took my sweet time! Must have been there a couple of hours with my now sister-in-law going for increasingly longer tea/loo breaks to give me the opportunity to actually ask for her permission. I think she even prompted me at one point, eventually got it out and she was delighted.

2. Got it from a place called 77 Diamonds after some very positive recommendations. Really good place and my wife loves the ring. Don't go for the highest clarity, that's just for bragging rights. I got ~0.7 carat, VS2, delicacy ring. There were a separate set of metrics (forget what) but think they were a mix of e.g. very good/good. Not the largest carat but the diamond is very sparkly. Cost around £2.5k though they gave me a certificate to say it was worth a grand more which was odd.

3. She thought it was just some dinner out, I had faked winning an Evening Standard £75 restaurant gift voucher, friends and her sister were waiting in the restaurant on the other side of the bridge. Proposed on the bridge (decided right at the last second not to go on my knee which we were both glad of as it would have drawn a bit too much attention) - asking her "will you marry you". She had no idea about the others waiting in the restaurant and bless her - was so caught up in the moment she told the others at the table "oooo we have a £75 voucher off for the meal" :p:p:p:p:o

Good luck :)
 
Soldato
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1) didn't ask his blessings, but did go for a walk and tell him my plan and ask him to be a part of it.

2) I used stones from my nannas ring and my mum's earrings and had a ring made to fit them. It cost me x, insurance valued it at 3x+y

3) up a mountain, which at the time was nice idea but the few photos we have are us looking sweaty and knackered
 
Soldato
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1. Asked her dad whilst on the Jack the Ripper tour in the East End

2. Paid around 4%-5% on the ring from a very decent place on Hatton Gardens.

3. Proposed whilst up in the Lake District. Wanted to get down on one knee at the top of Bowfell, but she was having a right moan as the whether closed in and we'd been walking quite a while. Ended up proposing close to Crinkle Crags. She dropped her glove and it almost blew off the cliff due to the wind. She went racing after it before I got to put the ring on her finger and came within a couple of metres from throwing herself down several hundred metres of cliff. Then did the same thing again 2 mins later... got it all on video.

Should have done it the following day as we went a different route up to Bowfell and the sun was out. She knew I was going to propose because "you were being too nice to me".

The cottage we were staying in at the time we got engaged recently came up got sale. She was keen to buy it but it turned out that she was a couple of glasses of wine down... wasn't so keen the next day :( it sold within a week.
 
Man of Honour
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and that's where you discuss it with your future wife. "Since we're going to do a lot of stupid traditional stuff that everybody else does would you also like me to ask your Dad for your hand?", if the answer is no then don't do it.
My youngest should have got married on August 3rd but it's been shifted a year :( They have got every 'traditional' box ticked and it's costing a lot. Even though they had been living with each other for 4 years Dave still came and asked me and I cried :)
The other daughter will dispense with all tradition and just get married in a Registry Office with parents there and no white wedding dress. I hope he asks me but he'll do it in a really stupid way.

Whenever I’ve read your posts SGF, I’ve always thought, ‘This guy is no dummy, he thinks before he hits Post Reply.’
Added to that now, is not only is he no dummy, he’s a bowl of mush who loves his kids, and I’m happy for them that you obviously love them, they’re lucky kids, and you’re a lucky dad.
 
Man of Honour
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1. I the twin sister, mother in law and step dad in law in that order.
2. £600, she loved the ring.
3. On a bridge surrounded by peacocks.

In the nicest possible way bakes, I can imagine one peacock nudging his pal, and saying, “Dave, Dave, watch this guy on the bridge, any minute now he’ll drop to one knee, open a little box, and give that chick something.
It must be some blinding kind of seed, she’ll scream and be all over him like a cheap suit, I’ve seen it before.
 
Soldato
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Some very interesting stories in this thread. GD's diversity is shining through as always. I have to say though, these two stand out to me:

These are all true

1) We just said "We're getting married". Last year my youngest daughters boyfriend asked me and I cried. I'd always wished I'd asked my Father in Law because he was a wonderful human being.

2) It was 1980 so no idea what my salary was but she insisted on a cheap ring which cost £22. Later that year we paid £28 for the wedding ring which she can't get off her finger.

3) Seriously, My parents had come back from Nigeria where they had left me home alone since I was 16. My Mum started to be a proper b**** and my proposal was "I can't live with my Mum anymore, let's get married". It will be 40 years on September 27th.

1. No and it never entered my head too

2. Didnt have a brass farthing to my name so she put it on her credit card

3. I was going through basic training in Army and I had my first day off about midway through the course. We met in London as I didnt have time to get home and back. I told her my posting was going to be Germany and that I didnt want a long distance relationship , did she feel she could handle being a squaddies wife ? She said yes as that was the only way we would be able to give the relationship a proper go. So we went and found her a ring she liked and as I said she put it on her credit card. We celebrated in some Steak House but only had salads as we couldnt afford anything else. Context , I was 18 and she was 19 and had been seeing each other a few months before my training started. So when my training finished and I was waiting to fly out to Germany we got married and we still are 33 years later

Probably because of the minimalism involved yet both have stood the test of time and will hopefully continue to do so. Congratulations on your upcoming anniversary @SexyGreyFox. Anything special planned for it?
 
Man of Honour
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Whenever I’ve read your posts SGF, I’ve always thought, ‘This guy is no dummy, he thinks before he hits Post Reply.’
Added to that now, is not only is he no dummy, he’s a bowl of mush who loves his kids, and I’m happy for them that you obviously love them, they’re lucky kids, and you’re a lucky dad.

That's a really nice thing to say and I appreciate it and I also think the same as you but I would never have guessed you were about 20 years older than me.
My kids have had a free reign but then again they have never caused me problems.
The only thing they have upset me with is they are 33 & 31 and come from a 'rough' area where they should have had 3 kids by the time they were 20 but both have let me down :)

Some very interesting stories in this thread. GD's diversity is shining through as always. I have to say though, these two stand out to me:


Probably because of the minimalism involved yet both have stood the test of time and will hopefully continue to do so. Congratulations on your upcoming anniversary @SexyGreyFox. Anything special planned for it?

We go for meals still so probably still do that.
 
Soldato
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1) Nope
2) Was I supposed to get one of those?
3) Lying in a tent at a car show at about 3am we were just talking crap and we both agreed it was probably about time we got married.

The wedding itself was similarly low key, only people who even knew we were getting married at all were parents, my brother and his other half plus a mate who was doing the photography. For us it was more about being married than making a big drama about getting married
 
Caporegime
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1) Assuming you asked her Dad for his blessing, how did you go about this?

2) In terms of the proportion of gross annual salary at the time, how much was the ring?

3) How did you propose?

Refused to buy a diamond. Went for the same stone that was good enough for Princess Diana instead.

Got the ring custom made by a specialist so wasn't cheap but cheaper than a shop as no overheads.
 

wnb

wnb

Soldato
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27 Feb 2004
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3,983
1. Just asked her.
2. Peanuts
3. 'I supposed we best get married then'
4. Cost of the wedding, less than 1k, My parents and sisters got involved and next thing we paying for hotels and flying relatives in I had never met to the uk for a wedding and 100 ppl for the reception. I bought a suit and wife imported a cheap wedding dress, bought some drinks and a few platters of sandwiches. 8ppl at registry office and back to ours for a few drinks and sarnies. No family members from either side attended, our parents were upset but they just had to bite their lips and get on with it if they wanted to see the grand kids.
 
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