Excuses for calling in Sick

[greengiant]

Pretty suspicious when people pull sickes mostly on fridays and mondays :-/

 

[Lt. Manlove]

Last week I had piles, great stuff catching the manager peeking at your ass.

 

[da_mic_1530]

tbh i think sickies are all about wether you like your job or not

i used 2 skive work a lot, i dont as much now

i skive 6th form a lot thou, mam rights me notes and everyting lol

 

[JollyGreen]

Once I got so hammered on a work night (yes, entirely my fault, extremely stupid) that I ended up walking back home from the town centre (about three miles, not far, but further when you're blotto), decided to go to sleep on the pavement about 300 yards from my house, woke up at 4am in hospital with an IV in my arm, went home, went to bed, was woken up the next day by a colleague ringing to ask where I was and STILL went into work the next morning!

Not sure if it was the best idea or not, but I've always felt it was a good show of my commitment to work

 

[nikebee]

best excuse i've heard at work is this, happened to my boss when he used to run a local wine bar/resturante

He realises someone hasn't turned up to work (is currently about 30 minutes late or so), so decides to phone them up.

Boss: "where've you the heck are you?"
Guy: "just leaving hospital... dont think i'll be in today..."
Boss: "really..." *sarcastically*
Guy: "no, i really can't make it today..."
Boss: "why's that?"
Guy: "i've burnt my ****" (penis)
Boss: "you what? how!?"
Guy: "i was ironing and i... slipped..."
Boss: "you ironed your ****!?"

*boss hangs up with laughter*

 

[paul@]

Days in, days out, weeks in, weeks out.

I've taken 5 days off in 4 years of working.

Touch wood.

 

[ajgoodfellow]

I've never honestly pulled a sickie, although I have been late a few times (traffic mostly but once simply because I forgot to set my alarm! )

The latest I've ever been is about an hour and a half when it took me about that to drive in through the snow (hadn't gritted the roads). Got there and as so few people made it our manager let us all go home! Must have spent only half an hour or so in the office that day!

 

[Muban]

...oh and if you do pull a sickie, don't post pictures of the wild night out before on the internet. You never know who might see them

 

[Flibster]

"I can't come into work today..I'm sick"
"Exactly how sick are you?"
"Well...I'm in bed with my dog..."



After spending 13 week ill at the beginning of last year - I've had enough daytime tv to last me a lifetime.

Simon/~Flibster

 

[Lt. Manlove]

...oh and if you do pull a sickie, don't post pictures of the wild night out before on the internet. You never know who might see them

So very true... luckily it was the assistant manager who found the pictures

 

[bledd]

Why wasn't I surprised to find that people in Liverpool take the most sickies !

Location: Liverpool

rofl



the one time i've called in sick, i was off for 3 months (going back to work on thurs, yahoo), had my large intestine removed + lost two stone in three weeks!

 

[ethan]

Crikey!

 

[delta555]

"I can't come into work today, my head has fallen off"

"Sorry, i would come in today, but the voices in my head said that if i do, they will get me"

Either of those will get you at least a week off, maybe you might not have to turn up to that job ever again.

 

[wasc]

Location: Liverpool

rofl



the one time i've called in sick, i was off for 3 months (going back to work on thurs, yahoo), had my large intestine removed + lost two stone in three weeks!

Why did you have it removed if you don't mind me asking? And how will you cope without it? I thought it was kinda vital?

 

[tb2000]

"I can't come into work today, my head has fallen off"

"Sorry, i would come in today, but the voices in my head said that if i do, they will get me"

Either of those will get you at least a week off, maybe you might not have to turn up to that job ever again.

Lol probably not!
I notice in the original post the link points to office workers being reviewed. In any of these tests they only ever seem to review office workers or the like. Only reason I can think of is that office workers (or any white collar workers) take more sickies than blue collar workers as they get sick pay when the others don't (majority of the time). Therefore people in the manual labour (or blue collar) jobs don't take sickies for fear of losing pay? Don't get me wrong, I've worked in both cases, although i've never taken a sickie.
(Don's his flame proof jacket just in case )

 

[Nikias]

Ergasiophobia's my favourite.

 

[bledd]

Why did you have it removed if you don't mind me asking? And how will you cope without it? I thought it was kinda vital?

now i just drink more water, and go for number 2's more often, was a bugger at first. but after few words of wisdom from people with similar problems that sorted me out, from a few people on these very forums too!

 

[bfar]

I called in sick today! Fell on the stairs at work yesterday (complete accident). Ankles swollen up like a tennis ball. Got up this morning, had a shower, then decided there wasn't any point in hobbling around for the day, better to keep off it, so i did I hate sick days, they're dead boring.

 

[Tom0]

now i just drink more water, and go for number 2's more often, was a bugger at first. but after few words of wisdom from people with similar problems that sorted me out, from a few people on these very forums too!

Jesus man, glads your alrights bledds

 

[Morat]

Squits I find is usually the best excuse. As soon as you say that most HR really don't want to know the rest.

I actually had the squits once and they wanted me to go to the chemist for some medication. I tried to explain that I couldn't actually get to the chemist due to the actual squits, but they weren't happy.
Some HR are truly evil.