Jock was out working the field when a barnstormer landed. "I'll give you an airplane ride for £5," said the pilot. "Sorry, cannae afford it," replied Jock. "Tell you what," said the pilot, "I'll give you and your wife a free ride if you promise not to yell. Otherwise it'll be £10." So up they went and the pilot rolled, looped, stalled and did all he could to scare Jock. Nothing worked and the defeated pilot finally landed the plane. Turning around to the rear seat he said, "Gotta hand it to you. For country folk you sure are brave!" "Aye," said Jock "But ye nearly had me there when the wife fell oot!" Bonus joke because i'm nice: Double glazing is doing great business in Scotland in hope that the children cannot hear the icecream van when it comes round.