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Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by M0T, 2 Jun 2006.

  1. M0T

    Mobster

    Joined: 23 Aug 2003

    Posts: 4,583

    Location: House

    2 years ago my grandad died of a heart attack brought about by a genetic condition he had, 2 weeks ago my mum got very ill and when tested was found to have the same defect. I am scared I am going to lose her.

    My dad is severely depressed after his divorce. Mental illness, particularly depression, runs in his family - In the last 30 years 8 people on his side of the family have been diagnosed with severe depression and 6 of them commited suicide. I'm scared I'll lose him too.

    A year ago my little sister attempted suicide by swallong 30 paracetamol pills but was luckily gotten to the hospital in time. Even now she has severe mood swings and is almost completely off the rails despite the professional help she has. I am frightened that one day I'll get a call and she will have been found in a ditch somewhere.

    My older sister gets quite depressed and is away at uni, she doesn't like coming home because everything is so messed up. If she does come home she gets into fights with my younger sister. Its like I already lost her.

    I try and keep everything together, and most of the time I sort of manage by just acting like a clown and pretending like it doesn't matter. Tonight I was out with my friends in a bar in town and I noticed that everybody had someone and I was alone. I have a 'friend' who is trying to convince me she wants to be friends whilst simultaneously acting like she wants more, I am completely in love with her. I can't say anything because I am afraid I'll lose her as well.

    I had an amazing friend for a while who I told everything to, she really helped me out before falling for me and deciding that she couldn't see me any more. So I already lost her.

    My best mate lost his brother last year to suicide, I was there that evening so he doesn't really like seeing me because it reminds him of the stuff that happened, so thats someone else I have lost.

    I feel like I am in a hole and sometimes I think it would be easier to just give up. Everyday is a struggle to even get out of bed.
     
  2. Gilly

    Man of Honour

    Joined: 17 Oct 2002

    Posts: 95,526

    Location: I'm back baby!

    People often shy away from this suggestion, but have you ever thought about councilling?

    I'm truly sorry to hear about your problems. Thats far more than one person should ever be expected to deal with. You sound like a strong person though - thats good, but don't put pressure on yourself by making yourself be the person that holds everything together.

    Finally, whatever you need to talk about, there'll always be people on here to listen. I do stress that I'm serious about councilling though, there are people employed to help you though this :)
     
  3. M0T

    Mobster

    Joined: 23 Aug 2003

    Posts: 4,583

    Location: House

    Its not me that does it, everyone else tells me that I am just like my grandad and I hold everything together just like he did and I don't want to let them know I'm not because I'm scared that without me everything will fall apart.

    I wanted to go to uni in manchester but in the end my mum basically told me that if I wasn't here she'd have a nervous breakdown. What are you supposed to say to that?
     
  4. Gilly

    Man of Honour

    Joined: 17 Oct 2002

    Posts: 95,526

    Location: I'm back baby!

    I'm sorry mate, I don't know :(

    You aren't expected to know all the answer though either. No-one should have to deal with that amount of crap.

    One thing is clear, you are a strong person, and you can't give up.
     
  5. Scuzi

    Man of Honour

    Joined: 18 Oct 2002

    Posts: 19,722

    Location: Жит&#10

    I have to re-iterate what Gilly says, you CAN deal with this. What you are going through is not normal but you CAN get through it. My advice is to seek professional help. Councelling might sound like it may not offer any answers but it really can. There are people trained to deal with such situations and you NEED to talk to these people. If you don't know who to talk to, get in touch with your GP and he/she will put you through to the correct person.

    Talking will make it better. The more you talk about it, especially with a professional, the better it will become. :)

    Good luck and best wishes :)
     
  6. Replicant

    Hitman

    Joined: 17 Jul 2005

    Posts: 922

    Location: North West

    Thats incredibly selfish of her imo, she is an adult and your your not even out of your teens yet, she needs to take some responsibility for the direction of the family unit and her own life, seeking help were appropriate.

    All you can really do is re-assure her and that you will be able to help out throughout the course of your studies but you cannot afford to waste your opportunities as they are soon gone.

    I think you should seek professional advice as Gilly suggested, they would have vast experience of these kinds of situations and have further contacts who can assist you :)
     
  7. Doohickey

    Sgarrista

    Joined: 8 Aug 2004

    Posts: 9,341

    Location: Shropshire

    Please think about seeing a counsellor, as Gilly and Scuzi have said. It doesn't work miracles, don't expect it to, but you need to tell someone who can help you with the way you think, the way you look back on things, help you find things within yourself, and I'm speaking from experience. Please take care of yourself... :)
     
  8. Doohickey

    Sgarrista

    Joined: 8 Aug 2004

    Posts: 9,341

    Location: Shropshire

    It might sound selfish to you, and probably others, but she may well feel like she needs him that much... Remember she must be going through a hell of a lot too...
     
  9. G-MAN2004

    Caporegime

    Joined: 4 Jul 2004

    Posts: 30,111

    :( Very sorry to hear that but as said above Counselling would help.
     
  10. M0T

    Mobster

    Joined: 23 Aug 2003

    Posts: 4,583

    Location: House

    I am already through my first year right now, because of the fact that I didn't really want to be at that uni I haven't enjoyed it that much.

    I also believe this is the reason that the girl I like says she only wants to be friends, when we first met I was very stand offish and I put her off and think I made all her friends hate me. About the time I started opening up to her is when things started changing, but her friends still don't like me and I can understand why.
     
  11. Greenlizard0

    Man of Honour

    Joined: 15 Mar 2004

    Posts: 28,189

    Location: Liverpool

    I'm really sorry to hear about this lad :( As the above posts indicate counselling may help, and perhaps cognitive behavioural therapy.
     
  12. M0T

    Mobster

    Joined: 23 Aug 2003

    Posts: 4,583

    Location: House

    My younger sister who is 15 just got home from a night out totally plastered. And my older sister who came back for a few days left without saying anything to anyone, so now I am back to being in the middle of a total warzone between my mum and sister.

    At least my mate got some action last night, found himself a nice lad. He deserves it cos hes been feeling so lonely lately. I think my chances of some feel better sex were severely hampered by being on lesbian protection duty (one of my female friends has a gay friend who comes on to her all the time. So generally we erotically dance with each other to put her off. Alas we were on the stage in full view of all...)
     
  13. Kell_ee001

    Capodecina

    Joined: 19 Oct 2004

    Posts: 12,387

    Location: Jesmond

    Universities often have counseling centres / people you can talk to which should help. Obviously by writing here you have a lot you want to get off your chest and not only will talking to a professional help, but they'll be a stranger too who is removed from the situation.

    Also don't worry about being selfish - you are allowed to sometimes. If you need some time to yourself or out with friends then do and let off some steam. I used to feel everything I did was for other people and I was very unhappy. A little selfishness is required.

    Good luck with whatever route you decide to take - I hope it works out for you :)