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How to speak Essex (innit)

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Norbert666, 16 May 2006.

  1. Norbert666

    Soldato

    Joined: 22 Oct 2002

    Posts: 6,557

    Location: Essex, innit?

    For all you weirdos that don;t understand us propa' people:

    alma chizzit - A request to find the cost of an item

    amant - Quantity; sum total ("Thez a yuge amant of mud in Saffend")

    assband - Unable to leave the house because of illness, disability etc

    awss - A four legged animal, on which money is won, or more likely lost ("That awss ya tipped cost me a fiver t'day")

    branna - More brown than on a previous occasion ("Ere, Trace, ya look branna today, ave you been on sunbed?")

    cort a panda - A rather large hamburger

    dan in the maff - Unhappy ("Wossmatta, Trace, ya look a bit dan in the maff")

    eye-eels - Women's shoes

    Furrock - The location of Lakeside Shopping Centre (where you are likely to find GSXRMoviestar lurking)

    garrij - A building where a car is kept or repaired(Trace: "Oi, Darren, I fink the motah needs ta go in the garrij cos it aint working proper")

    Ibeefa - Balaeric holiday island

    lafarjik - Lacking in energy ("I feel all lafarjik")

    oi oi! - Traditional greeting. Often heard from the doorway of pubs or during banging dance tunes at clubs

    paipa - The Sun, The Mirror or The Sport

    reband - The period of recovery and emotional turmoil after rejection by a lover ("I couldn't elp it, I wuz on the reband from Craig")

    Saffend - Essex coastal resort boasting the longest pleasure pier in the world. The place where the characters from TV's, popular soap opera, Eastenders go on holiday

    tan - The city of London, the big smoke

    webbats - Querying the location something or someone is. ("Webbats is me dole card Trace? I've gotta sign on in arf hour")

    wonnid - 1. Desired, needed. 2. Wanted by the police

    zaggerate - To suggest that something is bigger or better than it actually is. ("I told ya a fazzand times already")
     
  2. holly35

    Wise Guy

    Joined: 13 Jul 2004

    Posts: 1,737

    Location: Burgess Hill, West Sussex

    My singer is from essex, and you can reall hear it in her singing and she has got me saying "isnt it" at the end of every sentence.

    Also when she talks about our slow song she calls it a "ballard" and not a "ballad" that is just silly!
     
  3. Yas786

    Caporegime

    Joined: 18 Oct 2002

    Posts: 48,297

    Location: All over the world...

    Old as the internet itself but still a good laugh
     
  4. Sirrel Squirrel

    Sgarrista

    Joined: 5 Aug 2003

    Posts: 7,789

    Location: Essex

    I actually sound like that sometimes :(
     
  5. Smithy

    Wise Guy

    Joined: 9 Mar 2006

    Posts: 1,519

    Funnily enough, having been born in essex and spending 18 years here, i dont think i speak a single one of those terms in that way. Im sure though if i went to Clacton i would pick it up pretty quick :D
     
  6. Pebbles

    Mobster

    Joined: 4 Oct 2004

    Posts: 2,854

    Location: In my happy place

    Ahhh the mother tongue as the written word. It's like coming home.... :D
     
  7. Spamalot

    Soldato

    Joined: 25 Oct 2004

    Posts: 5,241

    Location: Cambridge

    God I hated even reading them! Why dont they just speak proper ;) !
     
  8. Admiral Huddy

    Caporegime

    Joined: 17 Feb 2003

    Posts: 29,509

    Location: Chelmsford & Broadgate

    one would never speak like a commoner in the Essexshire! :p
     
  9. Charlie Bravo

    Mobster

    Joined: 18 Oct 2002

    Posts: 2,584

    Location: Chelmsford

    I've got a good friend in Essex with a proper Essex accent... she makes me laugh and the words above are so true :cool:
     
  10. Chris [BEANS]

    Soldato

    Joined: 30 Dec 2003

    Posts: 6,406

    Location: Bigger box!

    Spread the word brother!! Essex is where it's at :D

    Off the top of my head, me, mohinder, Mc Daniel, GSXRMovistar and now apparently pebbles too are from the promised land so don't mess.
    We're taking over, judgement day is fast approuching so all thos of you who are unworthy.

    Baa Daan innit

    Edit: Huddy too :) Solidarity brother
     
  11. CChrisca

    Wise Guy

    Joined: 12 Jan 2003

    Posts: 1,286

    Location: Kent

    That's not Essex talk it's Chatham chavvie talk innit bruv :)

    I work in a prison and the phrase that keeps on coming up when they are talking about getting out at the end of their sentence is 'on road', as in 'I'm gonna visit my boys when I get back on road'. So that's another lot of slang to add to Essex/Kent talk.
     
  12. fatiain

    Sgarrista

    Joined: 16 Oct 2004

    Posts: 7,647

    Location: Pratislava, Berk-shire

    English like what it should be spoke.
     
  13. Norbert666

    Soldato

    Joined: 22 Oct 2002

    Posts: 6,557

    Location: Essex, innit?

    innit
     
  14. dirtydog

    PermaBanned

    Joined: 18 Oct 2002

    Posts: 47,398

    Location: Essex

    Ditto :o
     
  15. Norbert666

    Soldato

    Joined: 22 Oct 2002

    Posts: 6,557

    Location: Essex, innit?

    aaaw, that just reminds me of The Littlest Hobo.
     
  16. Pudney

    Soldato

    Joined: 6 Sep 2005

    Posts: 5,717

    Location: Essex

    That's is mostly true, though I normally hear Sarfenn instead of Saffend.
     
  17. fatiain

    Sgarrista

    Joined: 16 Oct 2004

    Posts: 7,647

    Location: Pratislava, Berk-shire

    Mohinder sounds like that.

    On MSN. :D
     
  18. Pebbles

    Mobster

    Joined: 4 Oct 2004

    Posts: 2,854

    Location: In my happy place

    I'd agree with the Saaaarfenn comment. London is 'up taan' rather than tan.

    And Mohinder IS Essex.
     
  19. McDaniel

    Capodecina

    Joined: 15 Aug 2003

    Posts: 19,872

    Location: Southend-on-Sea

    whats the with space Mc Daniel?

    :p

    I was abused on xbox live the other day for my accent, because apparantly i was too well spoken :D lol
     
  20. Piggymon

    PermaBanned

    Joined: 17 Oct 2002

    Posts: 16,843

    Location: On MB's Boat - Drinking

    I should learn that to try and blend in with the locals :p