I miss how gaming made me feel

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Posted on reddit but thought I'd open up here.

Now before I get bombarded with old person comments and down votes I just wanna open up here, partly due to boredem, party to vent and now allow it to ruin my already cagey mental health.

I'm 33, live in England, been lucky enough to have been exposed to gaming from a young age. My earliest memory gaming is playing Sonic 1 in my uncles bedroom. Around 3years old. I literally don't remember anything before that, that is my earliest memory and I suppose using sonic as a reference is why it's stuck.

Gaming throughout the 2000s I eventually got into mmorpg which changed gaming for me, maybe due to the lack of massive online community on xbox/ps around 2006. And although I always buy every console I maybe have 5 friends I always play with, and another 20 I haven't played with since maybe 2015. I used to always be part of a team, or when I played more console games, we aren't a clan, just a group of friends who grew up together gaming. (I realise how poorly written this is up until this point but I'm trying to channel my thoughts for once)

Now due to my age and group I'm in, everyone is moving their focus onto families, some already have kids, some expecting more and the time we have together fades as their family grows, which is great for them but gaming is my getaway, I don't watch TV unless it's football (soccer) and the rare film. And I'm finding lately I'm just finding my time online a bit sad and lonely. I got heckled loads for having my yera of birth in my tag, got bombarded so much I paid to change it lol, and it's like I'm 33, have my own house, nice car, good job, travel and I'm allowing these people to bring me down further. I just miss a sense of belonging or being part of a team now days, I have a pc sat upstairs, decent spec but no one to really game with, my ps4 Pro is mainly for exclusives because it is better for that let's be honest, and my xbox is really there to play with the same group I've played with since the 360 days.

I've got this far trying to explain something I can express. I dunno. Maybe I am getting old, maybe I just need to find a group who wants members etc. I just hope in a way there's people in the same moment, and that we can all pass it.

Peace out
 
Soldato
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You're 33 and acting like you're about to head into retirement.

Gaming doesn't sound like the problem, it's you. Consider making some changes and in time you might feel better.
 
Caporegime
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most modern games are boring, the game play didn't really change much since the early 2000s if at all.

feels like I get deja vu playing most games, it's just the same old same old apart from the odd few titles an the social aspect from gaming ain't what it used to be.

mmos arent about being social anymore they are about dungeon finders and solo play so you might not even be playing with people on your server and you probably never see them again since no one talks.

I think maybe your brain learns to not be tricked by games into feeding you dopamine or whatever as well since most games I start playing then wonder what is the point? its just wasted hours.
 
Soldato
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Pretty much the same here, but I never got into consoles. I tried with a ps3 years ago to keep with it but with it moves on so quick and a new generation of 12 year olds come in to replace those which are now 13 and still just as annoying. I had one friend approach me to try and live some of the classic days but I wasn't feeling it knowing it was just for an hour instead of half the evening. I went back to an old text based browser game I used to play 20 years ago to join the others still playing after all this time but it's turned quite toxic and I'm only there to hold on to something.
 
Caporegime
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Sorry to pry, but do you have a significant other?

I ask because I had/have lots of friends, and we socialised a lot on Friday/Saturday nights and the original common interest was games, but there was a turning point where one of my best mates announced his wife was pregnant and that spurred me on to get serious about finding 'the one', because I knew my old life was about to change. That was in early 2010.

Sure enough, 90% of my friends are settled down with kids now and I can't remember the last time we managed to get online to play something...probably a few times when Apex Legends was released

Getting together with my girlfriend (now wife) in late 2010 meant I had somebody to do stuff with still.

She's not a gamer at all, and we're both 38 now and probably won't bother with kids, but I still get to game (single player) - just not as often as I once was and we have other hobbies we do together.
 
Soldato
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I'm 35 and all my friends either had kids or moved to London for work and don't have time to game. Sonic was my first memory too but I don't remember how old I was. I can't remember if I had a handheld sega game gear I think it was or the first mega drive first.

I quite like playing single player games now that I am older. It means I get to play when I want and don't spend half the time waiting in lobbies for everyone else - although perhaps that's half the fun? :D sometimes I just want to spend a good few hours after work gaming before the missus gets home. No one I know finishes at 3:30pm!
 
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Nice to see some of your comments whilst I'm aware I need to change mentally and psyically, (hit 20 stone due to drinking and eating and not doing much, then got help, early days) I do have a missus, we live together but before she met me she was already one to just read and chill, where as I game. We have a healthy life. Normally we travel a fair bit during the year but due to covid, we've just took a step back. Most my friends are in London/Essex so I use gaming as the main way we stay in touch. And when that's not happening it just leaves a void that's all.

Sure I need something to do and I have a lot of energy, stress and time to burn. But I just wish I felt part of something whilst online. Offline I'm OK with how things are.
 
Soldato
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Trying to relive your 'glory days' of gaming doesn't work IMO. I was heavily into online gaming from around 2003, but now hardly ever turn my gaming computer on, just seems too much like hard work, and nobody is around from the old days.
I also think the online 'community' is a lot more toxic than it used to be, but that might just be rose tinted specs.
 
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Trying to relive your 'glory days' of gaming doesn't work IMO. I was heavily into online gaming from around 2003, but now hardly ever turn my gaming computer on, just seems too much like hard work, and nobody is around from the old days.
I also think the online 'community' is a lot more toxic than it used to be, but that might just be rose tinted specs.
I agree with you, trying to chase that sense of freedom, belonging, togetherness from way back when is addictive but I'll never find it I don't think. Online is hossible now days, before it was OK I'm sure of it.
 
Soldato
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Check out Hell Let Loose on on PC. Similar position to you, same age etc, and only really play online with one friend from my youth. But that game's got a really small player base and you'll see the same names pop up. It's the first time in maybe 20 years that I've joined a clan (with my friend) to just have some people to play with when we hop on.

Older playerbase too and comms are needed/encouraged.
 
Soldato
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I'm twice the OP's age and I think that Doom on a 3Dfx Voodoo 2 was the high point of my gaming experience (in my 40's). I do know that you can never go back even though covid has made me grow my hair again and play prog rock a lot more on my vinyl.:cool: :D
 
Soldato
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Of course you don't feel the same as you did when your were a teenager, thats because you're no longer a teenager with no cares no responsibilities and plenty of time to fill. Times change and life moves on, what were you expecting?

You can't capture that feeling when you first engaged in an activity that sucked you in because that novel experience is no longer novel you've been there, done that. Thats life. You have new life experiences or at least you're supposed to.
 
Soldato
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Have you tried FiveM (GTAV RP servers?) There are a few good groups there where you can get to know new people and interact with them on the streets of Vinewood lol. It can be pretty hilarious at times too. I play on a couple of servers ( LucidRP and CliqueRP), both provide great RP experience but some people can be a bit rude. Lucid is a whitelisted server so you get less idiots on there. The ultimate server though is NoPixel, only the elite get to play there, but the roleplay is amazing, have a look at some videos on YouTube to see what it's like.
 
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