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i think i've solved the fat problem

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by adolf hamster, 13 Apr 2018.

  1. adolf hamster

    Soldato

    Joined: 18 Oct 2012

    Posts: 7,457

    ok, so crazy idea bad pitch.....

    so we've recently acquired 2 new cats in our household on top of our existing resident. the previous resident is young and healthy, and pretty normal.

    however the 2 newcomers are ex laboratory cats, so they've been used to being stuck in a cage with a daily feeding ritual and not much else.

    so they can't regulate their eating, so you need to give them servings, but the previous cat is used to just having a full bowl and eating when he wants (and he can maintain a healthy weight)

    our solution is his food bowl is now up on a shelf that only he can jump up to, bit unconventional but it works, and this is where my idea comes from- why not do this to humans?

    instead of sugar tax or whatever, just make all fast food restaurants have a physical challenge as an entry barrier, like say a rock climbing wall, if you're fit enough to climb the wall and carry your food down you can have it, but if your too fat it'll stop you, same goes for supermarkets.

    so gd, genius or madness?
     
  2. Monkeynut

    Soldato

    Joined: 7 Nov 2007

    Posts: 6,523

    Location: Cheshire

    We should have "fat" designated bays as well as disabled bays. If you've a fat badge you can park in these bays exclusively, but they are parked as far away from the supermarket as possible.
     
  3. Spook187

    Sgarrista

    Joined: 16 Jan 2010

    Posts: 8,311

    Location: Cumbria

    lol There is, it's called chavs in the way of the counter, i just remove them and make my way to be served :)
     
  4. Minusorange

    Soldato

    Joined: 25 Nov 2005

    Posts: 6,502

    Why not just have ID which states whether your fat tax exempt or not ? Then a button is pressed at checkout to either charge you for being fat, or not charge you for being healthy and responsible ?
     
  5. adolf hamster

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    Joined: 18 Oct 2012

    Posts: 7,457

    because you can be fat and rich, a physical barrier doesn't discriminate between rich and poor
     
  6. Minusorange

    Soldato

    Joined: 25 Nov 2005

    Posts: 6,502

    Being poor is no excuse for being fat though so it's moot
     
  7. Ceryndrion

    Mobster

    Joined: 21 Mar 2003

    Posts: 4,592

    Location: Nottingham

    Why not just take any parents who are fat, and execute their children? within a generation or two, everyone will come from healthy genes? may as well screen for a few other things while we are at it. Why not specify that the ideal human is at least 5 foot 11, has blonde hair etc? Could maybe round up all the fat people and inter them in camps where they can work themselves slim, put a nice gate on the front with a motivational motto or something.
     
  8. adolf hamster

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    Joined: 18 Oct 2012

    Posts: 7,457

    neither is being rich, but being rich will enable people to stay fat if there was a selective fat tax.

    @Ceryndrion tried that once, it went ok for a few years but then people started getting all angsty about it, called me mad they did, me? mad! the very idea....
     
  9. Megahurtz400

    Sgarrista

    Joined: 5 Jun 2007

    Posts: 8,087

    Location: Colchester

    [​IMG]
     
  10. Caracus2k

    Soldato

    Joined: 27 Jan 2009

    Posts: 5,449

    Well to be factual if fat people did a bit more (physical) work it might set them free (or their formerly fat selves)?
     
  11. Minusorange

    Soldato

    Joined: 25 Nov 2005

    Posts: 6,502

    Real life hunger games for fatties, the motivated will stay healthy to avoid competing, the rest will be able to duel it out to the death battle royale and provide us all with entertaining television
     
  12. [FnG]magnolia

    Pancake

    Joined: 29 Aug 2007

    Posts: 26,805

    Location: Comme Des Garcons

    thatwasthejoke.jpg
     
  13. Ceryndrion

    Mobster

    Joined: 21 Mar 2003

    Posts: 4,592

    Location: Nottingham

    a macdonalds death battle royale with cheese?
     
  14. Dis86

    Suspended

    Joined: 23 Dec 2011

    Posts: 25,920

    Location: Northern England

    Feed the obese to the starving. Win-win!
     
  15. adolf hamster

    Soldato

    Joined: 18 Oct 2012

    Posts: 7,457

    and you think a bunch of whales trying to climb a rock wall just to get some kfc isn't entertaining?

    because man, add some benny hill to that **** and we're golden.
     
  16. v0n

    Sgarrista

    Joined: 18 Oct 2002

    Posts: 8,067

    Location: The Great Lines Of Defence

    Why is their fat your problem?
    Why is fat a problem?
     
  17. Dis86

    Suspended

    Joined: 23 Dec 2011

    Posts: 25,920

    Location: Northern England

    Said every fatty ever!

    Simple, it places an increased strain on already limited resources. They take up additional space inconveniencing others (transport, shop aisles, even pavements). I generally find they smell unpleasant too.
     
  18. Minusorange

    Soldato

    Joined: 25 Nov 2005

    Posts: 6,502

    I'm healthy I don't venture near KFC so would not be something I'd see, unless it was on TV

    When I start getting taxed for their poor lifestyle choices, it becomes my problem
     
  19. Safetytrousers

    Wise Guy

    Joined: 31 Mar 2016

    Posts: 1,403

    Location: Moonbase Alpha

    I don't think a bit of jumping will take much fat off a cat. Cats are built for jumping and clambering.
     
  20. adolf hamster

    Soldato

    Joined: 18 Oct 2012

    Posts: 7,457

    i'm sure it wouldnt take long for some compilation videos to start popping up, it could be like cat videos but even bigger!