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Whats worse than a baby in a dustbin?....A baby in 4 dustbins
I think these are the sort of jokes you want?
I think these are the sort of jokes you want?
Kiddies jokes needed!!
- Thread starter ivrytwr3
- Start date
Soldato
Why did the bakers hands smell?
Because he kneeded a poo!
Because he kneeded a poo!
Soldato
Just be sure they grasp the essential qualities of a joke before plying them with ribticklers.
When my nephew was much younger, he once silenced the family surrounding him to proudly tell his joke.
"Why did the dinosaur go into the house?" he asked, enigmatically.
"We don't know", we replied, having not heard this one before. "Why did the dinosaur go into the house?"
At which point his face turned bright red, he started sobbing and wailed "I don't knooooow..."
When my nephew was much younger, he once silenced the family surrounding him to proudly tell his joke.
"Why did the dinosaur go into the house?" he asked, enigmatically.
"We don't know", we replied, having not heard this one before. "Why did the dinosaur go into the house?"
At which point his face turned bright red, he started sobbing and wailed "I don't knooooow..."
Caporegime
This joke thread is no different to the others.
Soldato
What's yellow and dangerous?
Shark Infested Custard!
Shark Infested Custard!
When I was a kid I used to be told a lot of the Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman jokes lol
The one that I remember most was the marmite slice one lol
Will see if I can find it as I can't remember all of it
edit:
I found another funny one
An Englishman, a Welshman and an Irishman were at the fair and about to go on the helter-skelter when an old crone steps in front of them.
"This is a magic ride," she says. "You will land in whatever you shout out on the way down."
"I'm game for this," says the Welshman and slides down the helter-skelter shouting "GOLD!" at the top of his voice. Sure enough, when he hit the bottom he found himself surrounded by thousands of pounds worth of gold coins.
The Englishman goes next and shouts "SILVER!" at the top of his voice. At the bottom he lands in more silver coinage than he can carry.
The Irishman goes last and, launching himself from the top of the slide shouts "WEEEEEEE!"
found it!!
there was an englishman, irishman, and a scottishman and they were walking for ages until it started to rain, so they went to find shelter,
when they found one one it was dark...... so they all told the englishmen to go in 1st
so he went in and saw a marmite slice.
He went to eat it but he heard a scary voice say
"DONT EAT THE MARMITE SLICE"
So the englishman ran out screaming.
The scottishmen thought he was an idiot and went in to see what was in there that was so frightening.
He saw the marmite slice too and went to eat it
and he heard a scary voice too saying
"DONT EAT THE MARMITE SLICE"
so he ran out screaming too.
The irishman thourght they were both idiots and went in he too saw the marmite slice and took a bite from it then the scary voice said
"I TOLD YOU ONCE I TOLD YOU TWICE I'VE WIPED MY BUM ON THAT MARMITE SLICE"
The one that I remember most was the marmite slice one lol
Will see if I can find it as I can't remember all of itedit:
I found another funny one
An Englishman, a Welshman and an Irishman were at the fair and about to go on the helter-skelter when an old crone steps in front of them.
"This is a magic ride," she says. "You will land in whatever you shout out on the way down."
"I'm game for this," says the Welshman and slides down the helter-skelter shouting "GOLD!" at the top of his voice. Sure enough, when he hit the bottom he found himself surrounded by thousands of pounds worth of gold coins.
The Englishman goes next and shouts "SILVER!" at the top of his voice. At the bottom he lands in more silver coinage than he can carry.
The Irishman goes last and, launching himself from the top of the slide shouts "WEEEEEEE!"
found it!!
there was an englishman, irishman, and a scottishman and they were walking for ages until it started to rain, so they went to find shelter,
when they found one one it was dark...... so they all told the englishmen to go in 1st
so he went in and saw a marmite slice.
He went to eat it but he heard a scary voice say
"DONT EAT THE MARMITE SLICE"
So the englishman ran out screaming.
The scottishmen thought he was an idiot and went in to see what was in there that was so frightening.
He saw the marmite slice too and went to eat it
and he heard a scary voice too saying
"DONT EAT THE MARMITE SLICE"
so he ran out screaming too.
The irishman thourght they were both idiots and went in he too saw the marmite slice and took a bite from it then the scary voice said
"I TOLD YOU ONCE I TOLD YOU TWICE I'VE WIPED MY BUM ON THAT MARMITE SLICE"
Last edited:
Soldato
Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman discover a magic slide which brings the rider whatever they say, Englishman slides down screaming "money" landing in a pile of money, Scotsman slides down screaming "women" landing in a pile of beautiful women, Irishman slides down shouting "WEEEEEEEE!!!!!!" 
Soldato
Lol some funny jokes here actually even if they are for kids - when he gets a bit older try these rhymes out
riding on the highway two forty four
<insert name here> had a baff and blew off the door
the wheels couldn't take, the car fell apart
all because of <insert name here 's> supersonic fart
oh the lulz......
another
Beans beans are good for the heart
the more you eat, the more you fart
the more you fart, the better you feel
so let's have beans for every meal
riding on the highway two forty four
<insert name here> had a baff and blew off the door
the wheels couldn't take, the car fell apart
all because of <insert name here 's> supersonic fart
oh the lulz......
another
Beans beans are good for the heart
the more you eat, the more you fart
the more you fart, the better you feel
so let's have beans for every meal
what do you call a fish with no eyes?
a fsh
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
no idea
What do you call a deer with no eyes or legs?
still no idea
What's red, black and white?
A sunburnt penguin
The boy stood on the burning deck,
his feet were full of blisters,
the flame came up and burnt his pants
so now he wears his sisters
There once was a woman from Crete,
who dreamt she danced naked in the street,
the very next day she found to her dismay,
she had mud on the soles of her feet.
a fsh
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
no idea
What do you call a deer with no eyes or legs?
still no idea
What's red, black and white?
A sunburnt penguin
The boy stood on the burning deck,
his feet were full of blisters,
the flame came up and burnt his pants
so now he wears his sisters
There once was a woman from Crete,
who dreamt she danced naked in the street,
the very next day she found to her dismay,
she had mud on the soles of her feet.
I like to follow those up with:
"What's white and silly?"
"A windowsill!"
...dunno why, but that really tickles me
Soldato
Associate
Knock knock
Who's' there?
Iwantap
Iwantap who ?
You know where the toilet is
Who's' there?
Iwantap
Iwantap who ?
You know where the toilet is