Married Couples : Finances Split or Combined?

[Rifte]

I have been married for coming on 14 years and even before we were married my wife and I always shared our income.

In short it all went into one pot. We each had a debit card and could access the funds as easily as each other.

I did not keep tabs on her spending, and she did not on mine.

When I was employed I always earned a lot more than her but our view was that it I was poor, so was she, and if I was rich, she was as well.

After we had children my wife had to leave her work to become a FT mum and we still maintained the same viewpoint, despite her income being ZERO.

It is clear though that for some couples that there is a 'mine and yours' mentality. Both partners would have their salaries go into differing bank accounts which only they could access, then they would both standing order an amount into a 'house' bank account. This amount could be the same as each other, or they could decide how they want to split financial responsibility.

It always seemed a strange setup to me, but I have enough friends and acquaintances who do the 'split' thing that makes me think that perhaps it is my view that is out dated?

Interesting to get a few views on this.

 

[boxman2000]

I'm with you, my wife and I have all our bank accounts in joint names, credit and debit cards in joint names.

It's a foreign concept to me to split it and to be honest it could well bring trust issues with it.

We are one family, we have one pot of money to maintain everything we do so splitting it even when my wife worked didn't make sense. We are both sensible with our money though.

 

[Peerzy]

We both receive our own pay into our own accounts. We then have a SO setup to move an equal amount into a joint account which covers all joint spending for the month (mortgage, bills, utilities, food shops, meals out, joint purchases etc....).

 

[chroniclard]

Both work full time, 2 kids. Just have a joint account. Not had any issues with it.

 

[grudas]

We both receive our own pay into our own accounts. We then have a SO setup to move an equal amount into a joint account which covers all joint spending for the month (mortgage, bills, utilities, food shops, meals out, joint purchases etc....).

not wife but a gf I live with, exactly the same here.

I would NEVER have a single account with all income going into it. I like to be 100% in charge of my own finances and know what I can afford to spend and what I can't, I can't imagine having to spend more than say I earned for my toys or her doing the same and using my earnings for her toys... it would not work from my or hers POV I think.

 

[Maccy]

Both have our own separate accounts and a joint account for mortgage, bills etc.

 

[LiE]

Well my wife earns 0 and I earn £60k, so not sure how she would survive if we didn't share the income. I have no issues with it. I can't see many couples having the same income.

Not strictly 0 she earns £300ish a month doing small bits of work around looking after our son.

I could imagine the awkward scenario where husband has £1,000 disposable after paying into a joint account, and the wife has a couple hundred or less.

 

[Tunney]

We have a joint account that we both pay in for bills and the mortgage. Apart from that, everything is separate and we contribute to holidays, etc. based on how much free cash we both have at the time.

My wife's income is complicated though. She's self employed and runs all of her finances through one account. I wouldn't want to unwittingly spend her VAT money on a new graphics card.

 

[Mucky_Pup]

I earn double what my partner earns, we pay half mortgage each, and I pay £100 more than her into bills account each month. The rest of the money is ours to do with as we need, no kids yet.

 

[Hedge]

We just put an equal percentage of our monthly wage into a joint account for all household costs then we have the leftover in our own personal accounts to do with as we please.

 

[Ekim]

We have separate accounts but a joint budget. I earn more than her so I pay 60% of all joint costs and she pays the remaining 40%. What ever is left after our joint budget is ours to spend how we see fit.

 

[RDM]

We have always worked it out that we both have a similar amount of money to spend each month. If that means one paying more for the bills then that is the way it is. Our salaries have varied over the years, I used to earn more, she now earns more, it doesn't really matter as it is our money.

Single accounts, joint accounts, whatever works for you as a couple.

 

[Josh]

Separate accounts and I send over money for bills every month, been working fine for 12 years - never considered a joint account before so might look into it.

 

[kaptainmarc]

everything is split, near enough 50/50

I probably pay an extra £80-100 a month over all but I earn slightly more money, although the gap has recently got even smaller.

I like to spend money, on gadgets/games/clothes/more expensive car cost
the wife on the other hand loves to save.

so after all house hold bills and food whats mine is mine and whats hers is hers.

any household jobs or holidays, we will both pay half each. Unless we decide to "treat" the other

 

[Efour]

2 seperate acounts and 1 joint credit card.

EVERYTHING is paid on the Creditcard and we zero it at then end of the month 50-50.

Only reason we do it like this is that banking isnt free so it saves on uneeded fees.

I basically only get paid into my personal account.

 

[bloodiedathame]

We budget with the total earnings, including child benefit. Most of the money for bills/put aside goes into our 123 account. Then she gets money in the joint account every two weeks for petrol and food. Seems to work. She effectively keeps her pay and child allowance but that has to cover homemaking costs and a few other things.

She's not good with money.

However between us have ended up with:
2x credit cards (she does not use these)
1x debit card (123 account, dont use the card for anything)
1x joint account (I don't use it, she does)
1x current account that I get paid to
1x current account that she gets paid to
1x savings account that I don't use
2x savings accounts for the kids

I should really streamline the whole thing...

 

[kinobestew123]

We're a mix of both. By having separate accounts for our wages to go into, we're both able to keep a close eye on what we're being paid. We then transfer any "excess" money each month into a joint pot. The amount we transfer doesn't have to match though, I will regularly put in lots more than my wife, but that doesn't matter at all.


By having the separate accounts, we're able to buy each other presents, etc and keep it a surprise and it also means we keep a much closer eye on what we're spending and how much thing are costing. For me, the risk with a completely joint account is that you both just spend whatever you like without thinking about it.

 

[Syla5]

My wife and I have separate accounts and we split the bills across the accounts rather then having a further account for joint stuff. From the early days we earned similar amounts of money and the split was 50/50, however my salary increases over the years have push me quite far ahead. As we now earn different amounts of money bills are split according to income rather than 50/50.

Spending on big ticket items often falls to me, but this has never caused an issue at all. We both see our individual earnings as being collectively ours, without the need to push them in to one bank account for the purposes of admin.

We both share the same opinion and that is why is a joint account has never been needed. We both earn enough to cover our assigned bills and have left over spending money each to put towards purchases either individually or for the family unit. In our situation it works perfectly and both of us feel financially independent and have no issues over what each other is spending because we have an open and honest flow over what is being spent on what.

I can fully understand joint banking when one side of the couple has a significantly smaller or no income, in these situations having a joint bank account helps to remove a level of reliance on the main earner providing an "allowance" to their partner and the issues that come along with that.

I don't feel that either direction is wrong, or right, it comes down to what works best for you as a couple, both have their pro's and con's but ultimately its about honesty and comfort. Joint banking does not stop either party being deceptive or siphoning off money to individual accounts for hidden spending, just like separate banking doesn't guarantee full disclosure of spending.


TL/DR neither is wrong, do what's best for you. Trust is the biggest factor and driver of any money issues.

 

[Woden]

No joint account but we treat both our wages as one single thing.

With internet banking taking literally minutes to transfer between our accounts, it doesn't really matter who pays what.

 

[enigma27]

me and the wife have our own wage accounts then one joint account for bills etc.. i earn a little more than her so the total bill amount we split 60/40.. we both have standing orders set-up to deposit x each into the joint account to cover all bills and anything else like food shopping or days out we just pay for as and when.

I know people have different tactics when it comes to family finances but i find it cleaner to have our 'own' money each month as long as all bills are paid for then if with want to spend our own money on ourselves we cant resent each other.

I could imagine all our disposable income going into a joint account as my wife cannot control what she spends on and i could not allow her to spend the money I have earned.

I dont hide anything i purchase from her but i do buy all of the large items for the house (electronics, white good, furniture etc) and she buys the kids clothes