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Married Couples : Finances Split or Combined?

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Rifte, 7 Mar 2017.

  1. CaptainComedy

    Perma Banned

    Joined: 3 Jul 2008

    Posts: 3,772

    Location: My fabulous ship

    I have:
    Personal account 1 (Wages in, personal spending) standing order to Personal account 2
    Personal account 2 (All personal bills - mobile/credit cards/etc) standing orders to Shared account 1/2
    Shared account 1 (Morgage/house bills)
    Shared account 2 (Variable costs - weekly food bill, going out / restaurants / holidays etc)

    This way we know how much we have individually and as a couple with the assurance that our bills are in order.

    When she falls pregrant, this will likely change and shared account 2 will be repurposed until she goes back to work.
     
  2. jonessa

    Gangster

    Joined: 16 Nov 2014

    Posts: 489

    Married for 3 years.

    Everything is joint, although my wife earns 20% more than I do per month.

    If we want to buy *expensive" things for ourselves (I wanted a new T.V for example - she wasn't bothered) we look at our finances together and make a decision.
    Bits and bobs (clothes, consumables etc) we just buy as we like.
     
  3. BigT

    Mobster

    Joined: 18 Oct 2002

    Posts: 3,289

    Location: UK

    Actually no - family only includes the dogs on top of the wife!
     
  4. regulus

    Sgarrista

    Joined: 18 Aug 2006

    Posts: 9,891

    Location: Wellington, NZ

    Same for us.

    Salaries into separate accounts, shared account for bills. I'd never even consider doing everything joint (apart from bills of course). It works extremely well this way so we see no reason to change.

    Last girlfriend kept nagging about having a shared account. Which I found quite funny seeing she did not have a single penny to her name she couldn't find a way to waste, and I had all the money. Yea, I could see how THAT would be in my benefit :rolleyes:
     
  5. coolsurfer

    Hitman

    Joined: 11 Apr 2006

    Posts: 809

    Location: Yorkshire

    How does the account splitter camp deal with property investment and stock and shares investments etc? Do you all just buy them individually? Is there a middle ground where you pool funds for your financial strategy so that you can retire with quite healthy joint incomes?
     
  6. The_Abyss

    Capodecina

    Joined: 15 May 2007

    Posts: 12,805

    Location: Ipswich / Bodham

     
  7. rIcK

    Wise Guy

    Joined: 5 Jan 2004

    Posts: 1,449

    I have been with my girlfriend around 11 years, whilst we are not married we are as good as.

    We keep our own income and have a joint account for mortgage and bills and pay in equal amounts to cover the costs. Besides that we keep our income fairly separate. Works well since when I buy a new TV, console, game, pc bit or bike part I don't need to justify anything. It also means we can still treat each other and not think "oh it is just my money anyway".
     
  8. SteveOBHave

    Soldato

    Joined: 31 Mar 2006

    Posts: 6,592

    Location: Sydney Australia

    First marriage was split and I honestly believe that it was a massive part as to why our relationship failed as there was always this "I paid for this and you didn't pay for that" going on.
    This marriage, everything is together and we discuss purchases even if it's a brief, "hey babe, just going to buy some crap from Hobbyking or the electronics shop". The difference in the relationships and trust is night and day.
     
  9. platypus

    Caporegime

    Joined: 25 Jul 2003

    Posts: 39,178

    Location: Rhône-Alpes+Cambridge

    Likewise. I would have thought this a generic basis for a good marriage too. If you can't trust each other with finances I don't really see how you can trust each other.

    Which is how I see - rightly or wrongly - people that maintain separate accounts. Especially on here, how many people do it "just in case"?

    I'm interested to know why you think you couldn't justify buying your tv, console, whatever from a joint pot? Actually lets rephrase. I'm interested to know why you think you'd need to justify it.

    We know our income, we know our outgoings. These outgoings include the extensive house works we're getting underway, saving for holidays and saving for retirement. We know what we can spend and don't take the ****. Why does anything therefore need justifying?

    You should see my cycling related bill!
     
  10. nightwish

    Hitman

    Joined: 28 Jun 2004

    Posts: 766

    Location: Sheffield

    Seems to me you're using a shared account to somehow "prove" you trust each other, which is putting the cart before the horse. We trust each other (that comes first), therefore we don't need to prove it by having a shared account. I know she won't do anything crazy with money, and she knows I won't either. Beyond that, the financial nuts-and-bolts are merely a result of simplicity and pragmatism, as they should be.
     
  11. platypus

    Caporegime

    Joined: 25 Jul 2003

    Posts: 39,178

    Location: Rhône-Alpes+Cambridge

    Which couldn't be further from the truth, of course. Everyone's different and has a different perspective, as I said.

    Given the general misogyny on here though, I'm going to take an educated guess that most keep accounts separate just in case.
     
  12. Spook187

    Sgarrista

    Joined: 16 Jan 2010

    Posts: 8,381

    Location: Cumbria

    I pay for everything anyway so it would make no difference if it was a shared account or not, I just top up my Mrs account weekly for her to buy a few extra bits of food, her sick pay goes on her little luxurys like phone, clothing etc.
     
  13. nightwish

    Hitman

    Joined: 28 Jun 2004

    Posts: 766

    Location: Sheffield

    Not sure where you said that, but it wasn't your 8.41 post.

    What you did say was this:

    Perhaps it was implied in the rightly or wrongly part. In which case, you are wrong.

    And finally...

    Quite a leap of logic there. For one thing, while that may be true of some, kindly don't tar me with the same brush. Secondly, and perhaps more importantly, given that separate accounts mean naff-all in the eyes of the law once a couple are married, this would surely only really be valid for unmarried couples?
     
  14. platypus

    Caporegime

    Joined: 25 Jul 2003

    Posts: 39,178

    Location: Rhône-Alpes+Cambridge

    Which is why I said rightly or wrongly. I admitted upfront that my opinion is based on my position and experiences. Fancy that!

    No, not really. Spend a few minutes reading any of the relationship/marriage trouble threads and its not hard to see.

    ...whilst you're doing the exact same thing. Whilst leaping in two footed to scramble about and attack my position personally, when I clearly stated that I was making generic assumptions, again based on my personal experiences.
     
  15. nightwish

    Hitman

    Joined: 28 Jun 2004

    Posts: 766

    Location: Sheffield

    Separate accounts <> misogyny. If you cannot even accept that, then you truly have a warped view of the world. Perhaps stop reading the relationship threads for a bit! ;-)
     
  16. platypus

    Caporegime

    Joined: 25 Jul 2003

    Posts: 39,178

    Location: Rhône-Alpes+Cambridge

    Show me where I said separate accounts mean misogyny.

    If you can't read things without interpreting things wildly out of proportions, perhaps stop reading any thread for a bit :).
     
  17. nightwish

    Hitman

    Joined: 28 Jun 2004

    Posts: 766

    Location: Sheffield

    Seriously mate, do you read your own posts? This is pointless though, I'm done.
     
  18. Em3bbs

    Soldato

    Joined: 26 Dec 2011

    Posts: 5,355

    Location: City of London

    It's these ones that make me laugh, where they place such value in their trust and relationship into how their bank accounts are set up. :D

    But because of that you can also understand why their relationships fail when they don't have full control over everything, so I guess it's why a joint account works better for them.

    As I said earlier in the thread, what works for us from a purely logistical point of view, a pot for savings/bills/holidays/kids stuff and separate accounts so we can easily check statements without having to ask if something is legit. Nothing is ever hidden but it's just much easier to stay on top of things. But we've only been together for 15 years or so, so our relationship could just be a flash in the pan. I've already got a separate account 'just in case' because I imagine it would be sooo difficult to open one if we split up. :D
     
    Last edited: 29 Mar 2017
  19. WantoN

    Capodecina

    Joined: 11 Jun 2003

    Posts: 10,705

    Location: Hampshire

    We have seperate bank accounts and savings, and a joint account where a standing order pays in the mortgage, bills, holiday savings and some additional money for savings. That way we can purchase things together, but don't have to answer to someone else when we want to buy something shiney.
     
  20. WantoN

    Capodecina

    Joined: 11 Jun 2003

    Posts: 10,705

    Location: Hampshire

    I'm just playing devil's advocate here and trying to apply the same logic that you have to those that don't share everything, so don't think I'm leaping on the attack.

    But, do you feel you need to have a joint account to trust your spouse? Do you think that if you didn't have a joint account you couldn't trust her?