Married Couples : Finances Split or Combined?

[TBirdUK]

Married 5 years, 2 kids, I am the only earner as the Mrs gave up work to look after kids (childcare would have been more than her wage so seemed logical as she wanted to be a full time Mum)

We used to do everything out of a joint account but now have separate accounts. All my earnings go into my personal account, then half is transferred out to her account to pay bills, mortgage etc. Wife has a joint credit card which gets payed off at end of each month from my account - this is used for everything. We still have a joint account which is kept topped up so if cash is required it is taken from there. Wife has online access to all my accounts and visa versa.

Seems complicated but we did this to maximise the credit cards points process and the interest rate/cashback on a 1/2/3 account.

 

[Housey]

It's the mentality of my money her money I can't really grasp when in a long term marriage/relationship. Also the 'i earn more money so' argument is lost on me in said situation. Each to their own and all that, but does seem an odd mentality.

 

[KiNgPiN83]

It's the mentality of my money her money I can't really grasp when in a long term marriage/relationship. Also the 'i earn more money so' argument is lost on me in said situation. Each to their own and all that, but does seem an odd mentality.

I'm not sure either... For example do they go halves on presents for the kids and stuff? To me it doesn't feel like a full commitment to the other person. You're in it together.

 

[nightwish]

It's the mentality of my money her money I can't really grasp when in a long term marriage/relationship. Also the 'i earn more money so' argument is lost on me in said situation. Each to their own and all that, but does seem an odd mentality.

I'm not sure either... For example do they go halves on presents for the kids and stuff? To me it doesn't feel like a full commitment to the other person. You're in it together.

This kind of holier-than-thou prejudice gets right up my nose. I'm clearly not going to change anyone's mind, but you get that people are different right? That there are virtually an infinite number of ways in which the elements of a relationship can be arranged to produce a successful outcome?

Insisting that finances must be shared or the relationship is somehow less than yours is a.) plain wrong, b.) offensive and c.) implies that money makes up an important element of your view of your relationship.

In my relationship, we're simply not that bothered about money. Money is not an important element of our relationship. Sharing our finances wouldn't mean much, as money itself does not mean that much to us.

Our finances started off separate. There seems to be no practical advantage to combining them, so they stay separate.

 

[SC0TTRS]

Never understood this separate account -"so I can spend my money and she can spend hers"

Why? it's not that difficult to understand. If I fancied popping out one Saturday morning and driving back in a new car I could without passing by the missus first. In fact, the missus takes delivery of her new car in a few weeks, her choice, her money and I wouldn't like the thought that she would have to run it passed me first considering she's worked for it.

If you feel more secure pouring it into one pot that your choice.

 

[Housey]

This kind of holier-than-thou prejudice gets right up my nose. I'm clearly not going to change anyone's mind, but you get that people are different right? .

Read what I said, I underlined my point with each to their own, lose the anger, it weakens any argument. To your point if money is not important then why not make it really simple when it comes to money. You contradict your argument. You are reading FAR to much into my point, I can't speak for others.

 

[nightwish]

Read what I said, I underlined my point with each to their own, lose the anger, it weakens any argument. To your point if money is not important then why not make it really simple when it comes to money. You contradict your argument. You are reading FAR to much into my point, I can't speak for others.

I was not replying to you alone, or even the both of you I quoted, but more to everyone in this thread who can't seem to handle the idea that people can have a successful relationship without having a joint account. That is insulting, and your damn right I get angry when insulted. I said we saw no practical advantage to combing them. Making it simpler isn't good enough for the effort of changing it.

 

[mark1284]

Joint account. One pot

 

[Housey]

I was not replying to you alone, or even the both of you I quoted, but more to everyone in this thread who can't seem to handle the idea that people can have a successful relationship without having a joint account. That is insulting, and your damn right I get angry when insulted. I said we saw no practical advantage to combing them. Making it simpler isn't good enough for the effort of changing it.

I suggest you put web forums into perspective and top feeling personally insulted. No one is personally insulting you, one might argue you're being a little snowflakey

 

[Housey]

Joint account. One pot

How dare you refer to it as a pot!!!

It is a personal financial collaboration environment.

The Internet....serious business

 

[nightwish]

No one is personally insulting you

snowflakey

'nuff said

 

[KiNgPiN83]

This kind of holier-than-thou prejudice gets right up my nose. I'm clearly not going to change anyone's mind, but you get that people are different right? That there are virtually an infinite number of ways in which the elements of a relationship can be arranged to produce a successful outcome?

Insisting that finances must be shared or the relationship is somehow less than yours is a.) plain wrong, b.) offensive and c.) implies that money makes up an important element of your view of your relationship.

In my relationship, we're simply not that bothered about money. Money is not an important element of our relationship. Sharing our finances wouldn't mean much, as money itself does not mean that much to us.

Our finances started off separate. There seems to be no practical advantage to combining them, so they stay separate.

Sorry, i wasn't trying to be insulting i was merely stating my opinion. I guess in my personal situation as my wife stays at home and looks after our boy i couldn't take the my pot/your pot road as she would have nothing... However if we were both earning and didn't have a child i could understand the my pot/your pot to an extent. But even then i think i'd feel happier just pooling it altogether. I guess that's just me?

 

[Housey]

'nuff said

Or irony lost on you perhaps...

 

[nightwish]

Sorry, i wasn't trying to be insulting i was merely stating my opinion. I guess in my personal situation as my wife stays at home and looks after our boy i couldn't take the my pot/your pot road as she would have nothing... However if we were both earning and didn't have a child i could understand the my pot/your pot to an extent. But even then i think i'd feel happier just pooling it altogether. I guess that's just me?

Fair enough. Also, perhaps I should add that I consider the situation to change fundementally if she (or I) gave up work to look after our kids. That's a whole different dynamic right there, and some kind of sharing scenario would be far more appropriate. Although still don't see the need for a joint account as such - I'd probably just transfer half my take home pay straight into her account and leave all else the same.

 

[DXP55]

Mate of mine had a joint account - his wife used to go to Sainsbury's every day and buy a packet of biscuits and £50 cash back - Wife and I have our own accounts with a joint for running house.

Mate was divorced years ago

 

[Tunney]

What would you do if she stops working to have kids?

When we had our kid and my wife stopped work, I started paying all of the bills and my wife relied on savings for day-to-day expenses. When I stopped work, my wife paid the bills and I relied on savings.

We have some joint savings but separate current accounts. My wife shouldn't have to justify a new pair of shoes or a handbag to me (clichéd but that's what the big purchases usually are) and I shouldn't have to justify my new toys to her. I'd feel guilty if I spent joint money on a luxury just for myself.

 

[coolsurfer]

Those who split there income - how do you go about pensions, investments etc? What if one of you is on a low wage - does that mean you can't live the dream life because one of you is poor???

What if one is you is more knowledgeable with money...what if the wife doesn't pay into a pension or has lower contributions? Does that mean in retirement she'll live on rich teas whilst you have the jaffa?

 

[Tunney]

Those who split there income - how do you go about pensions, investments etc? What if one of you is on a low wage - does that mean you can't live the dream life because one of you is poor???

Who says you have to split purchases or bills equally?

 

[Maximum Triceratops]

I earn 4 times what my wife does, I work full time and she works part time, we have 2 kids and all the cash goes into one pot. If I want something I buy it and likewise with the Wife. Neither of us take the pee so it works just fine

 

[HangTime]

Those who split there income - how do you go about pensions, investments etc? What if one of you is on a low wage - does that mean you can't live the dream life because one of you is poor???

What if one is you is more knowledgeable with money...what if the wife doesn't pay into a pension or has lower contributions? Does that mean in retirement she'll live on rich teas whilst you have the jaffa?

Cross that bridge when we come to it. It isn't an exact science as the income 'split' is done in a very inconsistent fashion (different amounts of money moving around each month), but in broad terms right now my wife has a much bigger pension pot and I have much more investments. Who knows by the time we retire, my guess is by that time the world will be a different place and we'll either have more closely integrated finances, or we'll no longer be a couple.