Soldato
Damien Hirst ain't got **** on me!
Most embarassing thing you have ever done?
- Thread starter squarehead94
- Start date
Man of Honour
lol I read that as 'many years ago when I was six'
Thought to myself 'that's colourful language for a six year old'
Personally, my most embarassing moment is CC'ing a colleague into an email when I was flaming him behind his back. Oh god so awkward.
Man of Honour
Completed probation period at first job and had just signed the paperwork getting a pay-rise and being made permanent etc.
Boss went to shake my hand but the angle his hand came at I though he was going to high five me. A really awkward high-five/handshake then happened.
Nothing quite like buggering up a hand shake to to reassure someone they've made the right decision to employ you.
Boss went to shake my hand but the angle his hand came at I though he was going to high five me. A really awkward high-five/handshake then happened.
Nothing quite like buggering up a hand shake to to reassure someone they've made the right decision to employ you
.
How long have you got? when I was younger I had a knack of doing stupid things
Two that spring to mind are....
Just bought a new shift and was proudly bowling down the road and walked passed a hair dressers with a mirror type front window, so I took the opportunity to check myself out. While admiring just how good I looked I walked face first into a lamp post, immediately followed shreiks of laughter from said hair dressers. I thought about going in there and trying to style it out but I couldnt come up with a witty quip so beat a hasty retreat
Another time I went for a quick pint after football practice with a few "friends"
I went to the bar to get a round of 3 drinks and while carrying them through the packed beer garden one of said "friends" decided to pull down my track suit bottoms, unfortunately my boxers were a little on the lose side and came down with them. I had to waddle to the nearest table (sadly full of unimpressed girls) tackle out to put the drinks down before I could regain my modesty
I am now older and wiser and dont make such scholl boy errors
(yeah righ)
Two that spring to mind are....
Just bought a new shift and was proudly bowling down the road and walked passed a hair dressers with a mirror type front window, so I took the opportunity to check myself out. While admiring just how good I looked I walked face first into a lamp post, immediately followed shreiks of laughter from said hair dressers. I thought about going in there and trying to style it out but I couldnt come up with a witty quip so beat a hasty retreat
Another time I went for a quick pint after football practice with a few "friends"
I went to the bar to get a round of 3 drinks and while carrying them through the packed beer garden one of said "friends" decided to pull down my track suit bottoms, unfortunately my boxers were a little on the lose side and came down with them. I had to waddle to the nearest table (sadly full of unimpressed girls) tackle out to put the drinks down before I could regain my modesty
I am now older and wiser and dont make such scholl boy errors
(yeah righ)
Soldato
That sounds awful, unless somebody has slept with one of their relations, I imagine that story is going to be pretty hard to top. Any one is very welcome to prove me wrong though.
Associate
spat on an 80 year old woman by mistake
That is pretty hard to beat.
Also, when i was about 9 again (it was a bad time in my life) I remember having the runs in school, and I crapped myself. not nice at all. it was a special school so like, teachers were used to it, but handing over a crappy pair of underwear was not cool at all.
Permabanned
...elaborate
yeah was gonna say, spitting usually isnt accidental :L
Soldato
Walked in on the mother-in-law while she was completely naked 
Man of Honour
Did you ask how old the poor dear was before or after you gobbed on her?
Was playing baseball/rounders at school for some unknown reason, I think it was the end of term and one of the D&T teachers managed to run into me, I anticipated this and put my hands up to stop her, unfortunately they made contact with her boobs and she fell on top of me with my hands still on boobs. She wasn't a looker unfortunately
Last edited:
Walked in on the mother-in-law while she was completely naked
was she hot?
*awaiting porno like storyline of walking in on hot mother in law*
Was playing baseball/rounders at school for some unknown reason, I think it was the end of term and one of the D&T teachers managed to run into me, I anticipated this and put my hands up to stop her unfortunately they made contact with her boobs and she fell on top of me. She wasn't a looker unfortunately
that was an epic story until the last 5 or so words
Man of Honour
Was playing baseball/rounders at school for some unknown reason, I think it was the end of term and one of the D&T teachers managed to run into me, I anticipated this and put my hands up to stop her unfortunately they made contact with her boobs and she fell on top of me with my hands still on boobs. She wasn't a looker unfortunately
Would have been perfect moment to shout rape.
I went on a night out, lost my wallet in a night club, bouncer said we will let you in to look for it if you can walk in a straight line, to which i fell over, 2 bottles of sambucca and being sick 35 times the next day, was not nice
however, my wallet was returned to me minus the tenner i had left in it, cards et al, so not too bad :L
Soldato
A couple spring to mind.
School play, I was in the audience. Just before going into the hall I found this small clear plastic sachet on the floor, almost liquid/jelly like. Being about 7 and having never seen anything like that before I end up mucking about with it during the play along with my mates all trying to figure out what it was.
Well, long story short, it turned out to be some kind of epoxy sachet that had been dropped by the caretaker that ended up bursting all over my hands in the middle of the play. Not wishing to embarrass myself I calmly sat there as everyone in a 3mtr vicinity slowly got high off these glue fumes.
Took me weeks to get rid of the glue on my hands and although the teachers never knew, the gym hall floor still has glue on it over 25 years later! I was known as uhu for a while (named after the glue).
Another was when I used to ride trial bikes. Long story short I was riding past a group of girls outside a concert hall, whilst feeling super cool and waving at them I forgot to slow down for the corner and rode straight into the wall.
After a minute or two lying in the road, unhurt but rather embarrassed, the 90+ members of the choir that had finished singing in the hall filtered out into the road and were all looking at me, along with the girls I was trying to impress.
Turned out well in the end as one of those girls is now my wife! I suppose it gave the father-in-law (who was there as well) something to talk about in the wedding speech!
School play, I was in the audience. Just before going into the hall I found this small clear plastic sachet on the floor, almost liquid/jelly like. Being about 7 and having never seen anything like that before I end up mucking about with it during the play along with my mates all trying to figure out what it was.
Well, long story short, it turned out to be some kind of epoxy sachet that had been dropped by the caretaker that ended up bursting all over my hands in the middle of the play. Not wishing to embarrass myself I calmly sat there as everyone in a 3mtr vicinity slowly got high off these glue fumes.
Took me weeks to get rid of the glue on my hands and although the teachers never knew, the gym hall floor still has glue on it over 25 years later! I was known as uhu for a while (named after the glue).
Another was when I used to ride trial bikes. Long story short I was riding past a group of girls outside a concert hall, whilst feeling super cool and waving at them I forgot to slow down for the corner and rode straight into the wall.
After a minute or two lying in the road, unhurt but rather embarrassed, the 90+ members of the choir that had finished singing in the hall filtered out into the road and were all looking at me, along with the girls I was trying to impress.
Turned out well in the end as one of those girls is now my wife! I suppose it gave the father-in-law (who was there as well) something to talk about in the wedding speech!
Last edited:
Soldato
Well I was doing some work around their house and I was just wearing a tool belt as it was a really hot day. I walked in and said "I heard you have some cavities that need filling" and she said "my, that's a rather large tool you have there", and I said..................oh nevermind
What actually happened was that we were sharing a holiday home with the wife's parents. One of the smoke alarms kept bleeping so I was trying to find it. I burst into what I thought was an unoccupied room.....but it was the in-law's room.....and she had just come out of the shower. She gasped. I closed the door rather quickly. Nothing was ever said about it ever again.
Soldato
Mine are brought on by alcohol, and reading some of these things actually make mine just sounds pathetic and not that bad lol
I was once dancing with a bottle in my hand, and for some reason though it was a good idea to put my thumb over the top and shake... The girls near by felt this was a bad idea, and voiced their opinions thus.
I was once very giddy, and was singing along with a tune in the nightclub... Problem is it was the dub version, and i was the only one singing.
I was once dancing with a bottle in my hand, and for some reason though it was a good idea to put my thumb over the top and shake... The girls near by felt this was a bad idea, and voiced their opinions thus.
I was once very giddy, and was singing along with a tune in the nightclub... Problem is it was the dub version, and i was the only one singing.