Most embarassing thing you have ever done?

[DanielMMS]

I often say embarrassing things but my worst was more action related.

We had to attend my wife's sister's wedding. My then heavily pregnant wife and eldest son flew over early to spend a day or two with her parents and I took the car on the ferry then drove up on the Thursday night/Friday morning arriving at her parents around 2am. Everyone was asleep but the house was unlocked so I quietly let myself in and went to the room we had always shared whenever we had stayed there.

Not wanting to wake the wife abruptly, I left the lights off, stripped naked and slipped into the bed and proceeded to cuddle the wife etc. At this point, I noticed that, either my wife was no longer pregnant or something was seriously amiss. What happened next has been embellished over time but, in a nutshell, my sister's wife (the bride to be) screamed and screamed and screamed. I jumped out of the bed and tried to calm the situation at which point a variety of people, including my 4 year old son, appeared at the bedroom door to see me, completely naked, trying to explain myself.

Most people saw the humorous side eventually although the groom still struggles to hold a conversation with me. The wedding reception was a little awkward at one point when my son decided, in front of a group of strangers, to ask why I was sleeping in Aunty Deborah's bed the other night.

 

[gillywibble]

^ Yeah right

 

[Clav]

I got so drunk in uni that I went into the wrong room in the house and hopped into bed with my mates sleeping missus. Then I peed on her

And another one. I was out in Glasgow a few years back and got thoroughly smashed. So smashed in fact that despite being dropped outside my hotel in a taxi I got lost and ended up drunkenly wandering the streets aimlessly for several hours. When I'd sobered up enough to not be in a drunken stupor any more I found I only had one shoe on, my phone was in pieces and it was now daylight. After walking around for about an hour I spotted a taxi in a petrol station and hopped in the passenger seat. Turns out though that the driver had just finished his shift and was in fact sitting there with his chap in hand peeing into a cup. We just looked at each other speechless for a few seconds then I got out of the taxi and he sped off. It took me another hour to find a free taxi to to take me back to my hotel. It was a 20 minute drive away and to this day I have zero idea of what happened when I was staggering around.

 

[HEADRAT]

Back in my youth got a call from a girl that I'd been seeing on/off, she said her parents were out for the night and I should pop over.

As as you can imagine one thing lead to another and we were have a happy game of hide the sausage when we heard the front door go.

I panicked and for some reason fled t butt naked into the bathroom to hide. I heard her parents come up the stairs and say what a good night they'd had etc.
and that they were off to bed. Heard a few doors close and thought I'd wait a while for the dust to settle then head back for my clothes and leg it with her
parents being none the wiser.

I was just about to make my move when I heard movement, I hid behing the bathroom door and tried to be as quiet as possible. Her Mums shuffles in and takes
her place on the throne for a quick pee. Then to my horror the door starts to move, it swings back and shuts with a click. It's then her Mum looks up and sees
me standing their in all my glory, her sitting there in hers.... we both scream!!!

Father rushes in, girls rushes in, Mother isn't happy ... ... .. . I make it out alive but only just

 

[squarehead94]

Please feel free to confess you have anonymity here haha

 

[[FnG]magnolia]

Was picked up by Glasgow Traffic Police who thought I was trying to kill myself about 4 days before Christmas in 2005. I'd walked out of the city centre and on to the M8 (anyone familiar with Glasgow will know that it was the last city in the UK to have a motorway pass through the centre of the city) and I was terribly drunk, also lost.

"I'm not suicidal!" I yelled. "I'm just terrifically ****ed!"

They dropped me off back by the Holiday Inn and I went home and peed on my living room carpet and then slept on top of our dining table

 

[Zatoichi.uK]

I was on a ski trip in France a few years back and in a restaurant having a relaxing meal, when I had 'that feeling' in my stomach where I knew I had to poo. So I rushed to the toilet where the two cubicals were occupied. I stood there jogging on the spot for what seemed like an eternity but couldn't wait any longer, so I decided to do my business in the urinal. Hey it was that or the floor.

Of course that was the moment the guy in one of the cubicals decided to make his exit. There following a rather awkward moment followed by a longer moment in the restaurant with some strange stares directed at me. I never said a word to my friends on the table.

 

[DaleTheWhale]

And here's my favourite story ever on OcUK..

- Couldn't help but burst into laughter!

 

[[FnG]magnolia]

First time I've seen you mention this. Is she hot?

Yep.

Can I make some embarrassing stories with her?

I don't know.

 

[Fire_fly]

Another alcohol induced story here.

I was out with mates one night and got completely drunk, the next afternoon still feeling rather worse for ware I felt that I needed to drink something. I managed to drink about a glass of water before feeling the sudden urge to throw it back up. I was never going to make it to the bathroom in time, and I was definitely not cleaning more sick off the carpet, so I ran outside into the back garden. I got to the top of the steps into the garden and couldn't hold it any longer so I threw up. From behind me I heard a bit of a squeal. At the time the back garden of the house I was living in was overlooked by Lincoln Castle, there were two girls walking on the Battlements who had seen me. They shouted down to ask if I was ok, I replied yeah and tried to reassure them that I was fine. I then threw up again, more squeals, followed be me trying to spend the next few minutes trying to convince these two girls and a few other people that had also shown up on the Battlements that I was not about to die.

 

[squarehead94]

most of these are alcohol fuelled, it must be said...

 

[Duff-Man]

A friend and I were walking a couple of miles from his place to my parents house where I was staying over Christmas (this is a couple of years back, and we are both in our late 20s). When I set off I was fine, but I quickly realised I needed to crap - badly. No toilets for a good half mile in any direction, and I couldn't really wait that long. We were walking along a fairly busy road, but there was a sunken grassy lay-by somewhat obscured by trees, so I nipped in there for an emergency nature dump. I had enough tissues in my pocket for a quick wipe so that wasn't an issue.

I should have been invisible to cars, but not to anyone else that walked past on the footpath. Obviously I left my friend on the path to keep an eye out while I dropped off my brown babies into the grass. Anyway, I drop trou, squat down, and start to take my dump (being careful not to fill up my pants which are now round my ankles).

Just as I'm finishing the dump I hear my mate start cracking up. Not just regular laughing, but an "I can't breathe I'm choking" kind of laugh. He's practically doubled over in laughter. I stand up and ask him what's the matter. He tries to say something, but the words won't come out. He's laughing too hard.

Then, an elderly couple emerge, walking along the footpath. They have seen my friend doubled-up with laughter, and follow his gaze towards me - stood up, pants round ankles, **** and balls hanging out, stood above a steaming turd (it was a cold day and the fresh turd was literally steaming), with my right hand frozen mid-wipe. They didn't say anything, but the look of absolute disgust on the old lady's face said all that needed to be said.

When my friend finally managed to catch his breath long enough to squeak out a word or two I asked him why the **** he didn't warn me. His response? "They came out of nowhere". A couple in their 70s, hobbling along at 1mph along a straight path, and they "came out of nowhere"?

To this day he swears he didn't see them coming.

 

[BananaDunka]

^Where's Scuzi's story, that one is epic as well

 

[Scougar]

These stories remind me of...

... one night at uni in halls, I was with one group of friends and after a huge Chinese meal, we decided to crack open some red wine. A bottle later, and another friend comes knocking and invites me to go and have a bit of a smoke. Against my better judgement and being quite drunk already, I decide to except and head up to the upper level with some of the 'cool' guys/girls.

Not long after getting there (Max an hour), it was obviously not agreeing with me that night, as I have to rush down stairs to the toilet and throw up. What I wasn't quite prepared for was the combination of red wine and rice coming out in what seemed like a two inch wide projectile vomit. That was toilet number one.

I returned to the gathering, but make some excuses and leave shortly after, not feeling too well. I go to my room and lie down (about 75 metres away). I then start feeling queasy again, so dash out of my room, into the corridor and into the kitchen next door. Once again, red wine and rice make and interesting combo, and it's just streaming out of me in thick tubes. Some people I know come in and ask if I'm OK, see the red wine and think it's blood so are about to call an ambulance. I rapidly explain "no, no, it's OK, I'm just stoned", and carry on puking. They are fine with that, and just leave quietly. That's was area number two.

So still not feeling too well after returning to bed, rather than going next door to the kitchen I make it all the way down to to the other bath and shower room (about 60 metres away) and finish off my business in projectile vomit (it's still very vivid to this day). Red mess and rice rice everywhere. That was area number three.

In the morning... I find out the the cleaners have been going mental wondering who the hell destroyed two bathrooms and one kitchen area. Given the number of people who knew it was me (probably around 50 or more) I was lucky not to get talked to lol.

And many more situations like it during my uni days. Like ending up at a couple of girls house from a club, and then luckily finding out they were underage in time, and getting the hell out of there. Although I suppose that's not exactly embarrassing as just bloody lucky.

 

[[FnG]magnolia]

^Where's Scuzi's story, that one is epic as well

I think everyone is just too scared to post it.

(this is not a dare)

 

[Devrij]

OMG, most of these posts detail only mildly embarrassing experiences at best

Dude, don't tell me that waking up clothed on a urine-soaked bed (I was supposed to be sleeping in a sleeping bag next to this bed), vaguely remembering getting up for a drunken **** in the night, and then having your cousin wake up and tell you that he woke up to you ****ing all on his face.... just don't tell me that's mild embarrassment. I had to eat breakfast with his family dude.

To add to that, his mum had picked us up at the train station after our night out in Belfast and I puked in front of the car, and obviously the bed laundry would have to be explained. I was only visiting because I had been to drunk to board my flight home to LA, so they were already doing us a huge favour letting me stay. I made a fair show of myself.

 

[squarehead94]

I was expecting at least a story of how someone slept with their mates mum. im disappointed.

 

[Dis86]

I'm amazed by the sheer number of people who have pooped themselves. I suffer from IBS and haven't managed that yet! Come close...and there have been times where i've definitely not been farting with confidence, but yet to shart!

 

[squarehead94]

I'm amazed by the sheer number of people who have pooped themselves. I suffer from IBS and haven't managed that yet! Come close...and there have been times where i've definitely not been farting with confidence, but yet to shart!

at least when i pooped myself i was like 9 years old, not as bad as if i did it now haha!

 

[Col_M]

I'm amazed by the sheer number of people who have pooped themselves. I suffer from IBS and haven't managed that yet! Come close...and there have been times where i've definitely not been farting with confidence, but yet to shart!

hah yeah, I suffer from a similar problem, I've almost passed out from holding in a dump on the metro once but made it to the loo at the next stop