Soldato
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Sorry, it's still pathetic. It's very rare that people genuinely can't move out. They just choose not to because it benefits them. Thus they live at their parents expense.
Mothers, can't live with em, can't live without them!
- Thread starter Fuzz
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![[FnG]magnolia](/styles/overclockers/avatars/9.png){kind=avatar}
Caporegime
OP, how old are you out of interest? If you feel it's time to make a change you should do something about it. Your mum is most likely used to having someone rely on her so that will be part of the shock - the feeling of being needed in her eyes might be diminished. She may also be worried about her ability to look after herself without anyone being around.
I'd talk to her. Ask her what's driven such a strong reaction to a very, very normal occurrence.
I'd talk to her. Ask her what's driven such a strong reaction to a very, very normal occurrence.
Associate
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Soldato
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Calm down seek
Seriously, it's a sorry state of affairs when the average moving away from home age is rapidly becoming late twenties and beyond.
I moved out as soon as i could. Which was 18 but had to go back for 9 months after college. Hated it after being free to do what i want.
At the OP, i think your mum is just being irrational with her reasons for you not going to make you stay. This makes me think she has been worrying about you leaving for some time now.
Best bet is over the next few days talk to her and let her know your still going to see each other but its something you feel you need to do.
At the OP, i think your mum is just being irrational with her reasons for you not going to make you stay. This makes me think she has been worrying about you leaving for some time now.
Best bet is over the next few days talk to her and let her know your still going to see each other but its something you feel you need to do.
Soldato
I can't understand it either
It just wasn't a question for me - I was to go to uni, live away from home for uni, and move out as soon as I got a job after uni. It's the same for my brother and I wouldn't have it any other way
Just the thought of having parties/people over/girls over in my parent's house is enough for me to be very glad of my own place!
It just wasn't a question for me - I was to go to uni, live away from home for uni, and move out as soon as I got a job after uni. It's the same for my brother and I wouldn't have it any other way
Just the thought of having parties/people over/girls over in my parent's house is enough for me to be very glad of my own place!
It's only pathetic if they become some form of burden upon their parents.
Many people I know (including myself) have luxury of mothers and fathers which can afford to support them financially, and also want them to be there.
My dad is also disabled, therefore, I can make myself useful.
I have no intentions of sponging off them for the rest of my days and as soon as I'm qualified, I will be able to move out.
Soldato
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Good for you, but there is no arguing that there are many these days who are quite happy to live off their parents money long after would be considered even vaguely normal 10 years ago.It's only pathetic if they become some form of burden upon their parents.
Many people I know (including myself) have luxury of mothers and fathers which can afford to support them financially, and also want them to be there.
My dad is also disabled, therefore, I can make myself useful.
I have no intentions of sponging off them for the rest of my days and as soon as I'm qualified, I will be able to move out.
Are things really that bad, or are people just taking advantage?
Spot on. Steady there, Seek.
Soldato
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Can I ask if you went to uni?
What?
(that wasnt me you quoted)
I was agreeing with the comment and disagreeing with you. My brother is 24 (living at home now for a year and a half) and is living with his parents so he can save up to buy his own house. I don't really see how that could be labelled pathetic when everybody is happy with the arrangement, despite the possibility of him renting his own accommodation. He is looking into property at the moment.
Old enough that I should have moved out a LONG time ago.[FnG]magnolia;15048449 said:
I feel it's history repeating itself as we are still living in the marital lodge that her grandfather built for her and dad in the 70's.
My grandfather was a very controlling overbearing character (and a womans place is in the kitchen type of man) He owned the land and the house that was built for us, effectively keeping her on a leash. she basically has lived "at home" all her life (Grandfather lived in the Main house next door)
Dad left because of it when I was about 7
She doesn't know any different really and has often said she wishes she left home with dad when they were younger..
I'm much more stubborn a character than she is/was so that sort of controlling "you want to stay here where I can do everything for you" wont wash with me.
(all in past tense due to Grandfather being dead and the land and houses are now owned by her brother. (grandfather left her nothing as that's the way it was with him)
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Soldato
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Lets make one thing absolutely clear here. I'm only disgusted with the spongers who live rent-free, or discounted rent at their parents expense. I'm not slagging off all of you kids who still live with your mommy and daddy. Just the ones who don't pay their way and are quite happy to sponge well into their adult life.
And these days there seem to be many like that.
I seem to be touching a nerve here....
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To the OP, your Mother clearly sounds very concerned with you moving out due to you having always been there for the past 30 years or so.
She is worried about being lonely with the house to herself and also through her families heritage enforcing that she stay at home (or nearby).
You need to put your foot down and explain to her that you NEED to move out. It's a natural progression.
She can't make you stay, and is unfair of her to guilt trip you into wanting to.
At the same time you need to reassure her that you will be there for her despite not available 24/7, and you will visit.
Perhaps set aside a certain day of the week where you can go and keep her company, maybe more? It really depends on your relationship with her.
I'm sure that she has friends also and it's not just yourself and her, in it together. Make her aware of that.
Hope that helps.
She is worried about being lonely with the house to herself and also through her families heritage enforcing that she stay at home (or nearby).
You need to put your foot down and explain to her that you NEED to move out. It's a natural progression.
She can't make you stay, and is unfair of her to guilt trip you into wanting to.
At the same time you need to reassure her that you will be there for her despite not available 24/7, and you will visit.
Perhaps set aside a certain day of the week where you can go and keep her company, maybe more? It really depends on your relationship with her.
I'm sure that she has friends also and it's not just yourself and her, in it together. Make her aware of that.
Hope that helps.
Permabanned
lol
my parents hated me moving out, dad more so because they would miss their awesome god-like son.
I love big cities though.
Lol, while I havn't moved out yet I suspect I'll get the same reaction too when the time comes.
I was just about to post something similar. I don't even have a bedroom at my parents any more, they decided it was better as a guest room a few years ago.
+1