Mothers, can't live with em, can't live without them!

[Murf]

I moved out at the age of 18. When I went to uni I didn't even go back over the summers I just rented a place in Newcastle.

In hindsight, if I'd stayed at home for a year or two when working I could have put 10k towards a house deposit. Instead, I spent that much on rent, bills, food etc and so I'm much worse off for it now. Trying to save for a deposit while renting and paying for everything is really tough. It's going to set me back years.

If your parents are willing to put you up for a few years when you hit 18 or after uni while you save money for a place it seems a no brainer. Just don't waste the opportunity by spending the money on booze.

 

[Duff-Man]

I can see your point but you have to consider the long-term side of things.

For example, where do you see yourself after 10 years (as in earning/spending power, job satisfaction, housing quality and social circle) and where do you see your brother? It's always difficult to see others having things handed to them on a silver plate while they are doing (objectively) much less than "we" do - all the while while "we" don't even get nearly as much comforts as they do.

Nonetheless you need to have a long-term outlook. In 10 years you will be probably living in a mid-to-large size property, in a nice area of your choosing, with plenty of disposable income to buy all the toys you want (without obliging to anyone) and with a partner of your choice. People who live under the conditions that you mentioned as your brother living unfortunately give up a large part of their freedom for the short-term comforts. Honestly, consider his options of taking a girl out somewhere with his salary, or taking a holiday with friends or..or..or - you get the point.

I know it's hard working your butt off, earning good money and have nothing left at the end of the month while living in non-ideal conditions simply because life is too hard - but you gotta fight and work hard with a plan, and things will slowly but steadily improve. Always.

Enjoy your freedom of choice and options.

Yes, you're right of course (apart from having a 'partner of my choice' - I'm one ugly mofo ) but it's sometimes difficult to watch others being happy with plenty of free time and money, and no student debts, when I'm still in "the slog". I don't regret the choices I've made, or the direction I'm heading, but there's always that part of the mind that wants everything *right now*, and feels envious of those that have it already. Also, we could both get hit by a bus tomorrow, and then - who wins?

Anyway, it's just something that pangs from time to time. I still wouldn't want to swap places with him. Better to stand on my own two feet than to crouch on the shoulders of others.

 

[starfighter]

4 Bedroom house witha spare lounge we don't even use and a garage not in use yet. £160 each between 4 of us a month hahahahahahaha.

I really hope those London jobs pay well.

 

[Stretch]

My parents are separated, and I've lived with both at various points in my life, my father until I was 25.

They both wanted shot of me until I actually left, then they instantly regretted it. I think it's difficult for parents when their children leave home, especially if they haven't got each other or a new partner.

 

[D18241]

Thought I'd mention the fact I was thinking of moving out having checked out a few places.. Before I'd even finished talking I was branded stupid, it's a stupid idea, what about my hip, I'd have to put the cats in the cattery and it makes "everything I've got here a waste of time"

Not quite sure what that last comment was directed at TBH and I didn't get a chance to ask as she stormed off to bed in a huff.

You'd think at my age she be glad to get rid of the burden of cooking, cleaning, washing and tidying my **** for the last 30 odd years.

Were your parents supportive in your ideas when you were moving out for good?

I'm sat here a bit stunned thinking WTF

do you pay any rent to her?
my parents have allready said if i moved out and wasnt paying rent they would strugle without it, so i aint rushing to move out

 

[mollymoo]

I want my kids to move out at 16 then i'm changing the locks

 

[Knubje]

I'm 25, been at parents' home for 2 years now since uni was over, but been looking for a houshare for a while. Mum doesn't want me to leave but I obviously have to to regain my own dependence. I'll still be back most weekends though for them and all my local friends though.

This, except it's 3 years now I've been back from Uni and am waiting for solicitors to finalise my house purchase.

I help out and do my fair share around the house, yet she sometimes still treats me like I'm a teenager/kid and guilt trip me when I won't do something. I know she will be gutted when the Mrs and I do move out though.

She also does what she can and helps us a fair bit from time to time. I prefer 100% freedom though tbh.

I just pray it's soon before I kill her...

 

[greengiant]

Well, I'll be 32 in a couple of weeks time, and I'm now looking to move out and buy my own place. The benefit of living with my parents the past few years is that it's meant I have saved up a huge deposit despite paying a low rent to the parents, which will mean I'll get a decent mortgage despite what some would call a low wage (£15K PA before tax!)

Quite excited at finally getting on the property market. Of course, I won't have quite as much disposable income once I buy somewhere, but at least I'll have a place to call my own. If fact I'm viewing a place which looks quite promising this evening.

To the OP, I think your mother was just a bit upset at what's going to be quite a big change for both you and herself.

 

[Matt-Page]

Face it, you only live with mummy so you can sit on your arse and play computer games until late, then get up and eat your prepared brekfast then sod off out with your packed lunch in hand.

 

[Fuzz]

<Thinks Matt-Page must know me >

 

[Robert]

Lets make one thing absolutely clear here. I'm only disgusted with the spongers who live rent-free, or discounted rent at their parents expense. I'm not slagging off all of you kids who still live with your mommy and daddy. Just the ones who don't pay their way and are quite happy to sponge well into their adult life.

And these days there seem to be many like that.

I seem to be touching a nerve here....

LOL You're the one ranting like a lunatic.

Most responses have been fairly measured given that you're behaving like an utter ****.

 

[Knubje]

Oh I didn't mention but I am paying 1/3 of the bills above too whilst I have been saving for a house, since comming home from Uni.

*Avoids seek's wrath*

 

[4T5]

My Mum told me I was getting kicked out the day after I left school Before I was 13.
I left school at 15 on May 22nd & moved out on the 23rd just under 3 months before I was 16. My First home was the back seat of my mates Mk3 Cortina until he wrote it off then after a few nights ruff a mates Mum took me in. During the 3 months I lived there I realised what home life could be like for a kid.

My advice is stay at home for as long as you can, I'd still be there now if it had been cool.
Being completely honest though the trouble with me is I have always got up to things that other people find unnaceptable. Someone like myself has to Live alone or it would not have been possible to get up to what I got up to.
Sounds bad that my Ma wanted me out before I was 13 but you lot don't know how bad I was, Even as a child. I set alight to one of her boy friends houses when I was around 7 for starters & have some Serious issues with Fire amongst other things