Poll: Moving a partner into an owned-home? Finances

[Bunka]

When my mrs moved in some 10 years ago at first we had arrangement C and I was fine with that. Then when it was more serious and apparent that she wasn't going anywhere we moved to arrangement B. This worked fine for about 6 years then when I sold the flat about 3 years ago we bought a a place together and have arrangement A.

Sit down and work out what works for you both and it shouldn't be too much of a chore.

This is the right attitude.

She can help contribute a bit and then slowly ramp things up from there. No point moving her in, adding her to the mortgage and then deciding that you guys don't work together 3 months down the line.

 

[Hades]

Until you decide living together is going to be long term then the new person should pay rent (with a rent book as evidence) even if the rent is very low and you give it back in cash. Protect yourself.

 

[Richdog]

When my partner and I (now wife) moved in together - we just had one bank account, our salaries got paid into it, we paid the mortgage and bills and the world didn't end. There was no splitting of bills or any of that nonsense - what was mine was hers and what was hers was mine. If we were restricted on fund and one of us wanted to buy something of value, we had a conversation about it and came to an agreement. Sometimes I compromised, sometimes she compromised, sometimes no compromise was possible - life carried on.

You know, being an adult about it and all that.

Yes because of course life is as simple as that for everyone, right? And All other people's partners are the pinnacle of cool, collected calm and adult maturity? That was a rhetorical question, just in case you were confused.

 

[Housey]

Exactly what I did and today is my 20th wedding anniversary. My house, my mortgage, girlfriend moved in and helped pay the bills, but remained my house until we got married. Life is what you make it.

 

[Skidder]

Exactly what I did and today is my 20th wedding anniversary. My house, my mortgage, girlfriend moved in and helped pay the bills, but remained my house until we got married. Life is what you make it.

Congrats! (and agreed)

 

[gjrc]

I think this is one of those conversations you should be having with your partner, not a bunch of weirdos on the internet.

Good luck.

 

[Craig321]

Scenario: Person A owns house, pays mortgage. Person B wants to move in. Not married.


Options for finances?

a) Split equity agreement and share mortgage payments at agreed rate for dual ownership

b) A pays mortgage, B pays bills

c) B freeloads

d) other?


Interested in hearing which options above, or others not listed, any of you folk have adopted.. and any potential challenges/risks associated..

Well, a is bad because then if you split up, there's the faff of getting her off the mortgage, her taking a cut of the price of the house etc. etc. however all that works.

I would just ask that she pays for extra food, contributes towards electricity, water, council tax, etc. Even to the point of going halves on bills.

So option B.

Either way, you're going to pay the mortgage, whether she's there or not, so I don't think I'd worry about wanting rent from her. Just get extra favours to cover that bit

Option C would only be acceptable to me when married and she wants to be a stay-at-home wife and look after the house/children/pets/cooking etc.

 

[izzop]

Whilst living with my last Ex for 10 years it was option B.

That being I paid the mortgage and she paid the other bills, at least that was the agreement at the beginning

 

[jellybeard999]

I'm currently doing this with my GF but she owns the home. As it's her mortgage she pays it and then we go half on the rest of the bills. The plan is to put me on the mortgage as well but when we have been together for a few years.

This. My GF moved into the house I already owned and I have continued to pay the mortgatge. We've split bills down the middle. We are looking to move in the next year or so and will be getting a joint mortgage - I will use the proceeds of the sale and she will be using her savings for the deposit.

 

[regulus]

Don't know if it's been mentioned in this thread already, but make him/her sign a tenancy agreement. Whether it'll work when you get dragged to court for half your stuff, I don't know. But this is what I'll do.

 

[regulus]

Oh and this is a bit of advice from someone who has been there and got mildly burnt!

If the man/woman you intend to move in, reacts in a weird manner when you suggest getting an agreement written up then think carefully WHY!?

A normal rational adult will calmly discuss the issue and not resort to the "don't you love me? trust me? " and tears routine hoping you back down and give in.

Think very VERY carefully about just how the person you are hoping to share YOUR house with reacts in this situation....

Mature and reasoned advice that will probably be ignored by 80% of the 'in love right now' population.

OP, heed this advice above word for word.

 

[tom_nieto]

Split all bills including mortgage 50-50. Dual ownership of the house should come after some time and not be an instantaneous thing.

 

[Yaayuh!]

A pays CapEx costs and both A and B pay OpEx costs.

As someone that handles budgets at work, this made me chuckle.

 

[[FnG]magnolia]

Make her sign an acceptance of slavery form, rescinding any rights whatsoever including any home ownership options. Do not trust her because she is out to get you so get in first: allow her the use of the shed to sleep in for the first year, progressing to the hallway in year two, and finally the living room floor in year three. If she has proven trustworthy by this stage then you may consider allowing her limited access to your bedroom on a scheduled rota and under supervision.

But beware! Any indication of trustworthiness is a calculated trap to trick you because all women, especially your one, are broken, hateful harpies who are designed to ruin you and make every minute of your life a miserable and depressing experience.

[GD mode off]

 

[Captain]

You keep full responsibility of your house payments, don't split the mortgage unless you're certain she isn't going anywhere.

 

[dowie]

I wouldn't risk them paying for anything related to the flat tbh... doubt it makes much difference to bills if the washing machine is used a bit more frequently and someone plugs in a hair driver occasionally.

Get something drawn up and signed making sure they have no claim on the property, guise for this can be that it is a requirement of your mortgage company (which is likely the case).

If you settle down and buy a property together then the money they've been saving as a result of not having to pay rent can also help towards a deposit. If you've got unequal deposit amounts and/or are going to make differing payments then you could raw something up re: how the equity should be split should you break up.

 

[McBain]

Anything but freeloads.

I like pancakes.

 

[Nitefly]

lol... I think some of you are spooked from reading some highly fact specific horror stories. Some sort of legal arrangement with a girlfriend... really?

 

[regulus]

lol... I think some of you are spooked from reading some highly fact specific horror stories. Some sort of legal arrangement with a girlfriend... really?

Yes, really. Happy weddings can turn into very expensive divorces. It happens all the time. Relationships turn sour and end. She might leave quietly, or she might dig her heels in and see what she can get out of it. The OP should absolutely protect himself.

 

[Hades]

Yes, really. Happy weddings can turn into very expensive divorces. It happens all the time. Relationships turn sour and end. She might leave quietly, or she might dig her heels in and see what she can get out of it. The OP should absolutely protect himself.

This all day long. Keep her off the mortgage until you are ready to commit long term. As I mentioned before, if you take rent from her then get a rent book ao it can be shown the money was for rent and not the mortgage.