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Our Fostering Journey - Continued

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Admiral Huddy, 13 Jul 2006.

  1. Admiral Huddy

    Caporegime

    Joined: 17 Feb 2003

    Posts: 29,613

    Location: Chelmsford

    Some of you may recall that last October, we started our journey to become registered foster parents. Since then we have been trough various training programs, interviews and have had quite a few visits from a social worker working on behalf of the fostering agency.

    During this period we have been preparing and training how to look after foster children and understanding the many possible backgrounds why a child would come into our care. We have been making sure that we are prepared for what is to come and to ensure that fostering is indeed for us. Likewise, the agency needs to know that we will make suitable foster parents. The social worker we’ve had visit has compiled a comprehensive portfolio of our lives, home, children, family, friends and our background, which will be presented to a board of independent selectors. So after months of hard work, we finally have a date:

    Wednesday, 26th July 2006

    So what exactly have we been up to?


    Last December (you may recall) we attended a three day residential training course covering all aspects of fostering, including:

    What is fostering:
    Understanding why children are in fostering
    Child care
    Behaviour management
    Equal opportunities and diversity
    Self care


    The course was very intense and in places quite upsetting. I found it very thought provoking and in particular, the Self Care. Our children had there own one day course so they could have had a similar overview and understanding of what to expect etc.

    The course was run by the agency and this gave them an early assessment of whether we would be suitable to apply for fostering. Apparently, we were ok! So we were granted the right to apply so it was the first step over.

    The next step was a series of visits from a social worker and this has been ongoing since January. We had an initial visit just as a formal introduction followed by a series of interviews gathering the information needed to build our portfolio.

    Each of us (including the children) has been interviewed very thoroughly. It really has been gloves off time and as you can imagine, it been quite hard. In fact, at one point I was quite concerned about my daughter who expressed she was worried about being left out. So this delayed things quite a bit until we were happy that she was. We have always told the kids that if they weren’t happy with anything, that they have just as much right to say no at any time.

    My wife and I where asked a series of questions relating to our background. We were asked questions relating to the way we were brought up and raised. There were questions about how we were disciplined and how we discipline our own children. This went on for months.

    The children were also interviewed. They were asked questions about how they would feel about some of the children coming in, and how they would deal with them. They were also asked about how we brought them up.

    The social worker also paid a visit to ALL our family and friends asking them similar questions.

    So as you can see, it’s all been very intense. However, all this information has now been compiled into a large document called a form “F”. It is this document that will present on the 26th July.

    :)

     
  2. Kell_ee001

    Capodecina

    Joined: 19 Oct 2004

    Posts: 12,387

    Location: Jesmond

    I'm so glad to hear you're another step closer Huddy! :D
     
  3. Adz

    Capodecina

    Joined: 18 Oct 2002

    Posts: 10,274

    Location: Berkshire

    I had no idea the process was so involved. It can only be a good thing though.

    Good luck with it :).
     
  4. Admiral Huddy

    Caporegime

    Joined: 17 Feb 2003

    Posts: 29,613

    Location: Chelmsford

    many thanks





    112 reads - 2 replies ha

    changes heading to norks in here :rolleyes:
     
  5. Mr_L

    Mobster

    Joined: 28 Jan 2005

    Posts: 3,732

    Location: Worcester

    Nore me, and I think you're right that it can only be a good thing that it's a big process.

    Deciding to become foster parents must be big decision to make, fair play to you and your wife for doing it Admiral. :)

    Good look with your quest to increase the crew on the good ship Huddy.
     
  6. Alrik

    Mobster

    Joined: 5 Nov 2005

    Posts: 4,033

    Good Luck to you. Can't say I would ever do it myself after having growing up with my parents fostering. If it all goes well can you see yourself doing long-term or short-term fostering? Also some of the backgrounds the kids will come from will disgust you in the ways they have been treated.
     
  7. Admiral Huddy

    Caporegime

    Joined: 17 Feb 2003

    Posts: 29,613

    Location: Chelmsford


    Really.. How did you feel about your parents fostering at the time and how do you feel about it now?
     
  8. mightynimrod

    Mobster

    Joined: 31 Jan 2003

    Posts: 4,267

    Location: Lincoln LN3

    Well done mate.

    It's people like you that turn bad lives/experiences into good one's.:)

    I take my hat off to you and your family and hope everything goes well.

    Good luck ;)
     
  9. BillytheImpaler

    Man of Honour

    Joined: 2 Aug 2005

    Posts: 8,741

    Location: Cleveland, Ohio, USA

    Huddy, approximately how many foster kids will you have at any one time? Do you decide or does someone else do it? I've always been a bit curious how foster care works. :)
     
  10. Admiral Huddy

    Caporegime

    Joined: 17 Feb 2003

    Posts: 29,613

    Location: Chelmsford


    Each child must have his/her own room as this is their space and privacy. Therefore, you are allowed one child per bedroom. The exception being sibblings where they want to share.


    We have one spare room so for the time being we are looking at one child.

    On the back end of this, for the first year, we are going for emergency, short term and rest-bite only, just so that we aren't running before we can walk, so to speak. Once we have assed our progress, then we'll look at long term.

    :)
     
  11. McDaniel

    Capodecina

    Joined: 15 Aug 2003

    Posts: 19,879

    Location: Southend-on-Sea

    Congrats,

    Do you get a specific age range? like 3-7, or 8-12 etc..

    Or just whom ever?
     
  12. Biohazard

    PermaBanned

    Joined: 29 Aug 2003

    Posts: 31,334

    Well done mate all the best I hope you enjoy your chosen vocation.

    My mother was adopted at a very young age, spent years in a childrens home until she was fostered then eventially adopted by what is now my family. What you are doing will make such an immense difference to someone's life, however you may be taken aback by some of the problems that such young people can carry (I know a few foster parents and the stories could make most grown men get a lump in their throat) and, ultimately, at the end of the day your family is the one that will try and help them get over these. Hope all goes well for you my friend!
     
  13. Alrik

    Mobster

    Joined: 5 Nov 2005

    Posts: 4,033

    Don't know how it works now but it used to be just anyone up to the age of 16 (maybe 18?), but by 12+ they are usually adopted by that age or put into homes. Since most people looking to adopt only want newborns to 2 year olds (so they dont know they were adopted) and alot of these kids have problems that the adoptive parents want nothing to do with sadly :(

    Edit: By homes I mean Orphanages incase anyone misunderstood
     
    Last edited: 13 Jul 2006
  14. Admiral Huddy

    Caporegime

    Joined: 17 Feb 2003

    Posts: 29,613

    Location: Chelmsford

    Sort of,

    The age range is a bit of an issue for us at the moment because we have stipulated that we don't want any children 1 year older than our oldest (12).

    The reason for this is that we havn't had the experience with dealing with older children and every year is a big change in a child development. Therfore, we would not be equiped to cope.


    it is 18.. but just because they reach 18 doesn't mean they are on the streets. Full support is provided to make sure they are ready to leave when they are ready and are able to face the world, like our own children.

    thanks mate :)
     
    Last edited: 13 Jul 2006
  15. Oakesy2001uk

    Mobster

    Joined: 7 Sep 2005

    Posts: 3,312

    normally when kids get over about 14 they dont get adopted, just long term fostered until they get out of school and get a job etc.... My Mum and dad have benn fostering since I was 3 (20 now) and have 8 kids (at the moment) 3 adopted 3 fostered and me and my brother.
    They have had over 150 kids since they started a mixture of long term and short term, had quite a lot of emergency ones coming in the middle of the night too.so If you have any questions you want me to ask them I'd be more than happy!
    I think they find it very rewarding, (and frustrating at times) but they wouldent have been doing it that long if they didn't like it!

    We have had some very interesting teenagers, the last girl we had (13) insisted on sneaking out of the house in the middle of the night to visit the local paedophiles! Unfortunately she had to go somewhere else as she had got in with the wrong crowd. under 12 = good call IMO! sounds really nasty but we have had a lot of very hard work troubled teenagers. we have also had alot of wonderfull kids and I like my mad house! its amazing at christmas.
     
    Last edited: 13 Jul 2006
  16. Alrik

    Mobster

    Joined: 5 Nov 2005

    Posts: 4,033

    Was a bit unclear on that sorry, I mean't I wasn't sure whether they get put into Homes after a certain age until they are able to live on their own. The first person we fostered is in his 30's now and still receives support in the form of benefits since he will never be able to work (too many run-ins with the police)

    My parents did it for around 18 years fostering around 33-35 in total and about 20 of them came with problems that were caused by the parents in the form years of abuse, I won't say what since im sure no-one wants to hear.
     
    Last edited: 13 Jul 2006
  17. Alrik

    Mobster

    Joined: 5 Nov 2005

    Posts: 4,033

    Forgot about emergency ones Usually happens when there is a huge argument and the kids are dragged into it so if the family has nobody to look after them until it all gets sorted they get sent to a home for a couple of days to a week then they are moved onto a more permanent foster home.

    Also I forgot to ask how many can you see yourself looking after as a maximum Huddy? I can guess one at first but sometimes people do get whole families coming to them since they don't want to split them up but its unfair since most are always separated
     
  18. Admiral Huddy

    Caporegime

    Joined: 17 Feb 2003

    Posts: 29,613

    Location: Chelmsford

    Today we go to panel - wish us luck :)
     
  19. singist

    Mobster

    Joined: 18 Oct 2002

    Posts: 4,446

    Location: Student Hell Headingley

    Good luck and best wishes. :)
     
  20. Kell_ee001

    Capodecina

    Joined: 19 Oct 2004

    Posts: 12,387

    Location: Jesmond

    Good luck mate! :)