Soggy library book dilemma

Smithy · 2 May 2006 at 16:35

easy solution my friend; Take any old book from within your house, take it down the library and hand it to them saying,
"Here i am returning Andy Mcnab - Aggressor", then just when they're about to say,
"Wait a minute this isn't...", you come in with,
"Look into the Eyes, the Eyes, Don't Look Around the Eyes" etc, while performing hypnotic hand gestures in front of their face. Then leg it.

No?
Ok just own up and pay the few quid to replace it.
:cool:

sunama · 2 May 2006 at 16:40

Pinkeyes said:
Well it may have sounded like the oldest excuse ever, but I found myself taking a book back to the library that my dog had eaten.

Adam_151 · 2 May 2006 at 16:44

kitten_caboodle said:
actually if you buy the book most libraries won't accept it, because it has to go through the ridiculous red tape type thing and if it comes into the system as a gift.

But its not a gift, he is just replacing what he broke*, anyway even if the stupid red tape thing does count it as such, how is anyone going to know that it happened anyway

Surely by the same logic, paying for the broken book would consitute a monetary gift

G-MAN2004 · 2 May 2006 at 16:46

TTIUWP

Mr Bulbous · 2 May 2006 at 16:50

Tru said:
Sneak into the library at dusk, bind and gag the old lady whos locking up, replace the book, set the place on fire and shoot the old crow on your way out.

It's what McNab would've wanted.

Thats the best suggestion yet.

Love it LOL

Mr Bulbous · 2 May 2006 at 16:52

vonhelmet said:
Own up, duh. Pay up if they ask you to. It is, after all, your fault.

I know, read my original post.

Just a bit of fun here more than anything else.

Mr Bulbous · 2 May 2006 at 17:00

LOL

Tell you what I'm going to do, I'll call my Library right now and tell them what happened and report back.

LOL

fatiain · 2 May 2006 at 17:03

How about locking the book in a bank vault, giving the bank instructions that your great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandson hands the book back to the library. You will be in the papers in 500 years for having the biggest library fine ever.

Mr.Orb · 2 May 2006 at 17:09

fatiain said:
How about locking the book in a bank vault, giving the bank instructions that your great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandson hands the book back to the library. You will be in the papers in 500 years for having the biggest library fine ever.

Give this man a medal

VeNT · 2 May 2006 at 17:10

fatiain said:
How about locking the book in a bank vault, giving the bank instructions that your great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandson hands the book back to the library. You will be in the papers in 500 years for having the biggest library fine ever.

iirc (sad that I know this) theres an upper limit on the fines they give you.

guy I was at school with returned a book 4 years late, it wasn't a big fine

Stringy · 2 May 2006 at 17:10

fatiain said:
How about locking the book in a bank vault, giving the bank instructions that your great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandson hands the book back to the library. You will be in the papers in 500 years for having the biggest library fine ever.

No no no, that's far too simple. Hide the book in a remote cave, then give a letter to a Courier company, telling them to give it to a kid, who you just happen to know will be standing in a certain location in 70 years time, and get the kid to return it. He'll then go and meet the you of 70 years time, where you'll make a time machine out of a crap, but iconic, sports car, then the kid can go back in time to return the book on time.

note: This may require 1.21 gigawatts.

fatiain · 2 May 2006 at 17:17

OCdt Stringy said:
note: This may require 1.21 gigawatts.

And a flux capacitor.

kitten_caboodle · 2 May 2006 at 17:18

Adam_151 said:
But its not a gift, he is just replacing what he broke*, anyway even if the stupid red tape thing does count it as such, how is anyone going to know that it happened anyway

Surely by the same logic, paying for the broken book would consitute a monetary gift

don't tell me, tell the council. The fact is, by following 'procedure' they have a paper trail of where the replacement book came from. If they don't have that, then it appears in the system as a gift (or so I was told).

Fact is, many libraries will not accept books from you, as someone said on p1 who actually worked in one. I also said i was pretty sure they wouldn't care tbh and i wouldn't bother trying to replace it unless they asked him to.

kitten_caboodle · 2 May 2006 at 17:21

OCdt Stringy said:
note: This may require 1.21 gigawatts.

1.21 gigawatts!! I'm sorry. But the only power source capable of generating 1.21 gigawatts of electricity is a bolt of lightning.

Pinkeyes · 2 May 2006 at 17:22

I would also like to add that Libraries are cool, we don't want to lose them, so pay up for ruining one of there books and don't try and worm your way out of it and cost them money

kitten_caboodle · 2 May 2006 at 17:24

Pinkeyes said:
I would also like to add that Libraries are cool, we don't want to lose them, so pay up for ruining one of there books and don't try and worm your way out of it

so true. Unfortunately I am that rubbish at taking my books back that i pay more in fines than it would have done to buy most of WuhSmith.

Pinkeyes · 2 May 2006 at 17:25

kitten_caboodle said:
so true. Unfortunately I am that rubbish at taking my books back that i pay more in fines than it would have done to buy most of WuhSmith.

With you there all the way - our household keep our local library afloat by the fines we pay alone.

Al Vallario · 2 May 2006 at 17:27

Why don't you try and walk into the library, casually stroll up to the counter and ask purely hypothetically (say this is in a suspicious tone) what would happen if you returned a damaged book. Ask what the exact fine would be for returning, say Andy McNab's hardbook version of "Aggressor," (again, purely hypothetically).

If the response sounds reasonable to you, whip said book out of your pocket and pay the fine. If, on the other hand, the fine is astronomical, make a swift exit (making a casual "Lets hope that doesn't happen, then" remark) and execute Plan B

Mr Bulbous · 2 May 2006 at 17:28

fatiain said:
How about locking the book in a bank vault, giving the bank instructions that your great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandson hands the book back to the library. You will be in the papers in 500 years for having the biggest library fine ever.

Brilliant

Anyway. Called our library just now, and yup, there will be a fine ... they cant comment on how much though at this time. and also they (who is they?) will calculate the books worth from age and times it was borrowed ... 8 times borrowed from the ticket number, but I'm offering them an exact new Brand New replacement? Its crazy.

But yup, They wont accept an exact similar substitute bought from me from a cheaper source, they have to go through the proper more expensive channels <----- this kinda outdated stuff is what drags down our once great country IMHO.

Oh well, fun thread, average book, usual red tape nonsense :cool:

Cheers.

sunama · 2 May 2006 at 17:32

kitten_caboodle said:
1.21 gigawatts!! I'm sorry. But the only power source capable of generating 1.21 gigawatts of electricity is a bolt of lightning.

or of course, a device known as 'Mr Fusion', which turns ordinary rubbish into power. Enough power to allow the time machine to travel in time.