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The Friday (Really Bad) Joke Thread

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Loki, 10 Mar 2006.

  1. Loki

    Asus Rep

    Joined: 17 Nov 2004

    Posts: 9,827

    Location: The Republic

    Im sorry about this but I got this on email today. Its so bad I feel the need to share my pain.

    A man is waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and
    informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. The
    son is just a head! But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion.

    After 18 years, the son is now old enough for his first drink. Dad takes him to the bar, tearfully tells the son he is proud of him and orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol.

    Swoooosh! Plop!! A torso pops out! The bar is dead silent; then bursts
    into whoops of joy. The father, shocked, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant "Take another drink!"

    The bartender continues to shake his head in dismay. Swoooosh! Plip!Plop!! Two arms pop out.

    The bar goes wild. The father, crying and wailing, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant, "Take another drink! Take another drink!!" The bartender ignores the whole affair and goes back to polishing glasses, shaking his head" clearly unimpressed by the amazing scenes.

    By now the boy is getting tipsy, but with his new hands he reaches down, grabs his drink and guzzles the last of it. Plop! Plip!! Two legs pop out. The bar is in chaos.

    The father falls to his knees and tearfully thanks God. The boy stands
    up on his new legs and stumbles to the left then staggers to the right
    through the front door, into the street, where a truck runs over him and kills him instantly. The bar falls silent.

    The father moans in grief. The bartender sighs and says,





    (Wait for it)





    (It's coming)





    (Ya ready?)





    (Don't hate me)





    (Ya gonna hate me)





    (Take a deep breath)





    "He should've quit while he was a head!"
  2. Supercow


    Joined: 30 Aug 2003

    Posts: 13,978

    Location: Straya

    Love it :)
  3. Muffin`


    Joined: 21 Apr 2004

    Posts: 33,159

    Location: Bristol

    ahahaha :D [​IMG]
  4. Zefan


    Joined: 15 Jan 2006

    Posts: 30,817

    Location: Tosche Station

  5. Kerplunk


    Joined: 10 Jan 2006

    Posts: 9,029

    Location: Bournemouth tbh

  6. A2Z


    Joined: 9 May 2005

    Posts: 8,399

    Location: London

  7. Pudney


    Joined: 6 Sep 2005

    Posts: 5,763

    Location: Essex

    Haha, love it :D
  8. SoliD


    Joined: 25 Feb 2004

    Posts: 15,528

    Location: Portsmouth

    cringe worthy but not the worst friday joke we have had!
  9. toy_soldier


    Joined: 3 Dec 2004

    Posts: 2,313

    Location: Sheffield

    haha thats not bad it actually made me laugh out loud unlike most of the jokes Ive seen on here.

    PS wher has quick reply dissapeared to?
  10. William


    Joined: 26 Jul 2003

    Posts: 10,948

    Location: Derby

    I was putting the cat out last night, and who should I see at the bottom of the garden but Gilly. Seems I caught him in the process of stealing our garden gate.

    I didn't say anything in case he took offence.
  11. Ja (:


    Joined: 8 Mar 2006

    Posts: 434

    Location: Birmingham o:

    Haha, not so bad! Made me laugh anyway! ^_^
  12. pyro


    Joined: 23 Nov 2002

    Posts: 16,167

  13. BrightonBelle

    Woman of Honour

    Joined: 2 Aug 2004

    Posts: 5,570

    Location: London

    My rubbish joke for the day bit harsh really:

    A man had two great tickets for the Cup final.

    As he sits down, another man comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him.

    "No", he says, "the seat is empty".

    "This is incredible!" said the man, "who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the FA cup final, the biggest sporting event in the year, and not use it?"

    He says, "well, actually, the seat belongs to me. My wife was supposed to come with me, but she passed away. This is the first Cup Final we haven't been together since we got married".

    "Oh ... I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. I guess you couldn't find someone else, a friend or relative or even a neighbour to take the seat?"

    The man shakes his head...

    "No. They're all at the funeral".

    BB x
  14. woodsy2k

    Wise Guy

    Joined: 6 Nov 2005

    Posts: 1,547

    Like it OP, like it alot. never ehard that one befor, one to add to the circulation :D
  15. Freefaller

    Man of Honour

    Joined: 5 Jun 2003

    Posts: 87,182

    Location: Falling...

    Where's my ban button gone....
  16. Ren.182


    Joined: 2 Mar 2006

    Posts: 754

    Location: Birmingham, England

    Heh, you got a chuckle out of me :D
  17. AJUK

    Man of Honour

    Joined: 14 Nov 2003

    Posts: 10,949

    Loki, that is just so bad, it is good. :D

    ban tbh!
  18. MR_Punk


    Joined: 23 Mar 2004

    Posts: 7,947

    Location: Up t'north

    Find it .. QUICKLY

  19. SexyBetty


    Joined: 10 Jun 2005

    Posts: 3,427

    The first joke is sooo poor, has anyone heard that it actually bagged someone 5k on Trent FM lately for Nottinghams funniest gag? :eek:
  20. Loki

    Asus Rep

    Joined: 17 Nov 2004

    Posts: 9,827

    Location: The Republic

    Noooooooooooooooooooo :eek:

    I put disclaimers to say it wasn't mine