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The worlds WORST jokes in here please.

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by something_totally_different, 20 Sep 2009.

  1. something_totally_different

    Wise Guy

    Joined: 10 Oct 2007

    Posts: 1,165

    Location: in the arse of england.

    noticed we didnt have one for the worst, lamest crappiest jokes ever told. and im genuinely curious to see how inventively bad they can be...


    allow me to begin...






    What did Bob Marley say when his wife left him and took the satellite dish?











    No woman, no sky!
     
  2. PardonTheWait

    Capodecina

    Joined: 26 Aug 2003

    Posts: 24,041

    Don't be fooled by the titles, all the joke threads on here go this way.

    Except mine, and this is provable.
     
  3. Cybermyk

    Soldato

    Joined: 31 May 2005

    Posts: 6,850

    Location: Peoples Republik of Teesside

    I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.


    A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
     
  4. Sinque

    Soldato

    Joined: 5 Aug 2004

    Posts: 7,385

    Location: North East England

    That's so bad it's actually funny :o
     
  5. something_totally_different

    Wise Guy

    Joined: 10 Oct 2007

    Posts: 1,165

    Location: in the arse of england.

    so far that gets my vote :p
     
  6. Samueltastic

    Hitman

    Joined: 19 Aug 2009

    Posts: 934

    Location: Cornwall

    Ha thought that was quite good :D
     
  7. [FnG]magnolia

    Pancake

    Joined: 29 Aug 2007

    Posts: 26,832

    Location: Auckland

    Q : How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?








    A : None.

    :o
     
  8. Van Hellseek

    Capodecina

    Joined: 2 Jun 2004

    Posts: 18,420

    You're the worlds worst joke.
     
  9. ben90

    Wise Guy

    Joined: 3 Jan 2009

    Posts: 1,262

    Location: Wiltshire

    The worst jokes are always the best :p
     
  10. LeJosh

    Capodecina

    Joined: 24 Sep 2008

    Posts: 10,434

    Location: Edinburgh.

    What's brown and sticky?

    A stick. :D
     
  11. Malc

    Wise Guy

    Joined: 16 May 2004

    Posts: 1,382

    Location: Manchester

    Why did the scarecrow win a Nobel prize?

    Because he was outstanding in his field.
     
  12. Dan.m

    Hitman

    Joined: 18 Sep 2009

    Posts: 563

    Location: London

    I used to be a werewolf, but im alright Noooowwwwwwwwwwwooooooo.

    LeJosh your one gets my vote for worst :D
     
  13. wannabedamned

    Capodecina

    Joined: 27 Mar 2004

    Posts: 14,087

    Location: Between Realities

    What's green and brown, has four legs, and if it fell out of a tree it'd kill you??


    A snooker table
     
  14. danielb91

    Gangster

    Joined: 9 Nov 2007

    Posts: 191

    Location: Scotland

    What do you call a spaniard who had his car stolen?

    Carlos
     
  15. n1kunj

    Hitman

    Joined: 9 Aug 2005

    Posts: 623

    Location: Surrey

    What do giraffes have that no other animals have?

    Baby giraffes
     
  16. something_totally_different

    Wise Guy

    Joined: 10 Oct 2007

    Posts: 1,165

    Location: in the arse of england.

    im starting to be rather afraid of what I have put in motion here...

    [FnG]magnolia

    afraid yours was rubbish as I spat my coke out laughing. ! :p
     
  17. Zerolimitz

    Gangster

    Joined: 17 Jul 2009

    Posts: 427

    Q: why did the chicken cross the road?


    A: To get to the other side duh?


    god i remember that from when i was about 8
     
  18. Aliboy

    Mobster

    Joined: 4 Jan 2004

    Posts: 3,201

    A termite walks into a pub and says 'Is the bartender here?' :o

    Al
     
  19. Mojo

    Wise Guy

    Joined: 18 Mar 2007

    Posts: 1,042

    What's the difference between a clever midget and a venereal disease?

    One's a cunning runt...
     
  20. Jono8

    Caporegime

    Joined: 20 May 2007

    Posts: 33,532

    Location: Surrey

    lol gross