Thursday giggle
- Thread starter Rainmaker
- Start date
Man of Honour
A woman goes into a pet shop looking for a parrot. The assistant shows her a beautiful African Grey parrot, "What about this one Madam? A beautiful bird, I'm sure you'll agree, and it's an absolute steal at only £20."
"Why is it so cheap?" the woman asks.
"Well", replies the assistant "it use to live in a brothel and as a result it's language is a touch fruity!"
"Oh, I don't mind that", said the woman, making her mind up, "I'm broad minded and it'll be a laugh having a profane parrot."
So she buys the parrot and takes him home. Once safely in his new home, the parrot looks around and squawks at the woman, "**** me, a new brothel and a new madam!"
"I'm not a Madam and this isn't a brothel" says the woman indignantly.
A little later the woman's two teenage daughters arrive home. "A new brothel, a new madam, and now new whores," says the parrot when he sees the daughters. "Mum, tell your parrot to shut-up, we're not prostitutes," complained the girls, but they all see the funny side and have a laugh at their new pet.
A short while later, the woman's husband comes home and the parrot says, "Well **** me, a new brothel, a new madam, new whores, but the same old clients. How ya doin' Dave?"
"Why is it so cheap?" the woman asks.
"Well", replies the assistant "it use to live in a brothel and as a result it's language is a touch fruity!"
"Oh, I don't mind that", said the woman, making her mind up, "I'm broad minded and it'll be a laugh having a profane parrot."
So she buys the parrot and takes him home. Once safely in his new home, the parrot looks around and squawks at the woman, "**** me, a new brothel and a new madam!"
"I'm not a Madam and this isn't a brothel" says the woman indignantly.
A little later the woman's two teenage daughters arrive home. "A new brothel, a new madam, and now new whores," says the parrot when he sees the daughters. "Mum, tell your parrot to shut-up, we're not prostitutes," complained the girls, but they all see the funny side and have a laugh at their new pet.
A short while later, the woman's husband comes home and the parrot says, "Well **** me, a new brothel, a new madam, new whores, but the same old clients. How ya doin' Dave?"
Soldato
Loled so far at all three 
Associate
Soldato
Associate
Associate
Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them.
It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin.
Or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu.
But I think it's Colin.
It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin.
Or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu.
But I think it's Colin.
Soldato
True but they're not necessarialy good! See above!
Associate
I went to the doctor and said I was at home and all these books fell on me.
He said "you've only got yourshelf to blame!
He said "you've only got yourshelf to blame!
Associate
My chinese girlfriend got so annoyed when I told her I thought all chinese people looked the same.
Or it could have been her mum who was annoyed, or her sister or her best friend. I really couldn't tell.
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I confused my chinese girlfriend. I told her I wanted 69 in bed, and she said "I'll make you beef and broccoli after you finish ****ing me"
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My fat girlfriend has just bought herself a belt that also has a built in clock.
It's the biggest waist of time.
Or it could have been her mum who was annoyed, or her sister or her best friend. I really couldn't tell.
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I confused my chinese girlfriend. I told her I wanted 69 in bed, and she said "I'll make you beef and broccoli after you finish ****ing me"
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My fat girlfriend has just bought herself a belt that also has a built in clock.
It's the biggest waist of time.
Soldato
My point stands!
Caporegime
