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Thursday joke....it's possibly a goodun!

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Lashout_UK, 15 Jun 2006.

  1. Lashout_UK

    Capodecina

    Joined: 2 Mar 2004

    Posts: 11,844

    Location: SE England

    A woman goes into Harrods to buy a fishing rod and reel for her grandson's
    birthday. She doesn't know which one to get, so she just grabs one and goes
    over to the counter. The Harrods salesman is standing there, wearing dark
    shades.

    She says, "Excuse me. Can you tell me anything about this fishing rod and
    reel?"

    He says, "Madam, I'm completely blind; but, if you'll drop it on the
    counter, I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound
    it makes."

    She doesn't believe him but drops it on the counter anyway.

    He says, "That's a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel
    and 10-lb. test line. It's a good all around combination, and it's on sale
    this week for £44."

    She says, "It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it
    dropping on the counter. I'll take it!"

    As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor.

    "Oh, that sounds like a Visa card," he says.

    As the lady bends down to pick up the card, she accidentally farts.

    At first she is really embarrassed but then realises there is no way the
    blind salesman could tell it was she who had farted.

    The man rings up the sale and says "That'll be £58.50 please." The woman is
    totally confused by this and asks "Didn't you tell me it was on sale for
    £44? How did you get to £58.50?"

    He replies, "Yes Madam, the rod and reel are £44, but the Duck Caller is £11
    and the Fish Bait is £3.50."

    :D
     
  2. SideWinder

    Consigliere

    Joined: 12 Jun 2004

    Posts: 149,490

    Location: NW5

    /giggles.
     
  3. Red and White

    Sgarrista

    Joined: 18 Oct 2002

    Posts: 8,921

    :(
     
  4. Smit

    Soldato

    Joined: 6 Mar 2003

    Posts: 6,224

    Location: West Lothian

    Taxi :o
     
  5. AJUK

    Man of Honour

    Joined: 14 Nov 2003

    Posts: 10,949

    But sadly not. :D
     
  6. Mikey1280

    Wise Guy

    Joined: 1 Jan 2006

    Posts: 1,526

    Location: South East London

    :(
     
  7. Lashout_UK

    Capodecina

    Joined: 2 Mar 2004

    Posts: 11,844

    Location: SE England

    Dammit :D I thought I'd try :p
     
  8. Kerplunk

    Sgarrista

    Joined: 10 Jan 2006

    Posts: 9,043

    Location: Bournemouth tbh

    I can honestly say I didnt even smirk.
     
  9. mc_bob

    Banned

    Joined: 29 Aug 2005

    Posts: 1,553

    Location: Reppin' up North London

    I thought it was good :)

    MC_Bob
     
  10. Grrrrr

    Soldato

    Joined: 23 Oct 2002

    Posts: 5,696

    Location: Various

    A man has great tickets for the World Cup Final. As he sits down, another man comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in the empty seat next to him.
    "No," he says. "The seat is empty."

    "This is incredible!" says the other man.

    "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the World Cup Final, the biggest sporting event, and not use it?"

    "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. My wife was supposed to come with me, but she passed away. This is the first World Cup Final we haven't been to together since we got married."

    "Oh , I'm sorry to hear that...that's terrible. But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbour to take the
    seat?"

    The man shakes his head. "No, they're all at the funeral."
     
  11. Roughneck

    Soldato

    Joined: 18 Oct 2002

    Posts: 5,584

    Location: Aberdeen

    her farts smelled of fish?


    hence the 3.50 for the fish bait?
     
  12. Amp34

    Caporegime

    Joined: 25 Jul 2005

    Posts: 28,867

    Location: Canada

    Both pretty good. I actually LOL'd at the second one! :p
     
  13. rayer

    Wise Guy

    Joined: 27 Jan 2003

    Posts: 1,526

    Location: Bristol

    Michael Owen goes into a nightclub in Germany walks straight up to a girl and says "get your coat you're coming back to my hotel room" Girl says "My your a little forward"

    Man rings up his mate and says "Ive won 6 tickets to all englands world cup games for me and five mates. As your a mate, would you mind putting my bin out next Friday?"

    Boom boom tish!
     
  14. Kerplunk

    Sgarrista

    Joined: 10 Jan 2006

    Posts: 9,043

    Location: Bournemouth tbh

    Perhaps it fired out the wrong exit.

    Fanny Fart.
     
  15. calnen

    Mobster

    Joined: 5 Jan 2004

    Posts: 4,063

    Location: Chester

    lol at the second one :) Not too convinced by the first
     
  16. Anders0n

    Soldato

    Joined: 6 Jul 2005

    Posts: 5,712

    lol
     
  17. Sepheh

    Mobster

    Joined: 14 Jul 2003

    Posts: 2,812

    Location: Leeds

    Lol laughed at all of those jokes :D
     
  18. geeza

    Banned

    Joined: 30 Aug 2004

    Posts: 9,212

    head - over
     
  19. Inquisitor

    Capodecina

    Joined: 12 Apr 2004

    Posts: 11,788

    Location: Birmingham

    Oh so true :p
     
  20. The Pat

    Wise Guy

    Joined: 11 Apr 2006

    Posts: 1,861

    Location: London

    Haha :D What I would do.