Time to pour my heart out...

philjohn · 1 Oct 2009 at 11:11

If you need any help with the process for working out custody arrangements or support in staying involved Families Need Fatherss are a fantastic wealth of information.

CliffyG · 1 Oct 2009 at 11:29

Was in a similar position myself last year, all i can say is things get easier. I only hope you get plenty of access to them, i have mine every other weekend. It's still horrible saying goodbye to my kids when they go back to their mums but its got more bearable from the first few times which were frankly soul destroying.

platypus · 1 Oct 2009 at 11:31

Sorry to hear that anti, pop down to Cambridge (its an hrs drive) for a beer if you want too

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Adsta · 1 Oct 2009 at 11:35

Sorry to hear it buddy. As mentioned pasty smashing time for you ! ....

Get a place as soon as poss and make sure you arrange with ur ex when you can see your boys otherwise you could end up getting walked over

The Mad Rapper · 1 Oct 2009 at 12:21

fini said:
Why not fight for custody yourself then?

Because he won't win. The Courts are still incredibly biased in view of the Mother.

If he lives local the best he can hope for is a Shared Residency Order, which recognises that his children have two homes of equal value, even though they may not spend equal amounts of time in each.

The OP should join the Dads UK Forums where he will get lots of good advice. Tell them that The Mad Rapper sent you!

The Mad Rapper · 1 Oct 2009 at 12:22

CliffyG said:
Was in a similar position myself last year, all i can say is things get easier. I only hope you get plenty of access to them, i have mine every other weekend. It's still horrible saying goodbye to my kids when they go back to their mums but its got more bearable from the first few times which were frankly soul destroying.

Cliff, are you and Jodie able to communicate OK though? That makes the biggest difference, when parents can't talk to each other it's a nightmare.

CliffyG · 1 Oct 2009 at 12:51

Yeah we are making an effort to be civil as we have to talk about the kids a lot.

antijoke · 1 Oct 2009 at 12:57

Some really useful posts here thanks guys.

My head is spinning at the moment with the thought of what to do regarding housing etc etc.

fini · 1 Oct 2009 at 14:05

The Mad Rapper said:
Because he won't win. The Courts are still incredibly biased in view of the Mother.

I'm sure that's true, and it seems you know more about this than me, but surely it's worth trying for. If he were to build himself up the perfect family unit for the kids to walk in to, start dating a super-mum and move two seconds away from their current school, then surely he stands a higher chance.

Also, hide drugs in the mum's bags and tip-off the police

SilverSpider · 1 Oct 2009 at 14:23

Sorry to hear this pal !

It was only yesterday in the "Don't get much time for gaming" thread I gave you some advice and that you mentioned you had been with your missus for 5 years, came on today and saw this and thought ... "It can't be the same fella" but it was and it must have all happened last night ! :eek:

Keep your chin up mate, things will work out in time - you sound like you have your head screwed on and you will handle and deal with all you need to in due course.

The Mad Rapper · 1 Oct 2009 at 14:31

fini said:
I'm sure that's true, and it seems you know more about this than me, but surely it's worth trying for. If he were to build himself up the perfect family unit for the kids to walk in to, start dating a super-mum and move two seconds away from their current school, then surely he stands a higher chance.

Also, hide drugs in the mum's bags and tip-off the police

Of course it's worth going for mate, I just want the OP to have a realistic view. In contested custody battles the mother 'wins' the children in over 95% of cases.

The Mum can be the worst person on the face of the Earth and she'll still rarely lose the children. I HATE the Family Court system, it is antiquated beyond belief.

^TANK^ · 1 Oct 2009 at 15:06

You have two very handsome boys there anticonscience

, not that you need to be told but you should be very proud! I wish my sisters ex husband was as good a dad as you are. The ****er likes to use his children as Psychological weapons :mad:

.

dante6491 · 1 Oct 2009 at 15:35

My parents split up when I was five. My mother got custody and I rarely saw my dad and she bad mouthed him quite a lot. As I got older I saw him more often, it became apparent whose son I was. I am pretty much a clone of my dad with regards to body shape, mannerisms, dress sense. Now I look back on it, I probably would have preferred to live with him. Just remember that genes will out. They will always be your kids.