Man of Honour
Under what circumstances should your son/daughter start contributing?
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Soldato
That's exactly the sort of compromise. I think its very few teenagers that consistently see the benefits of saving.
For example the years I stated above I was loaded amongst my group of friends. They were scrimping and saving, trying get every bit of money. Then you realise why by looking at lifestyle: Out 3-4 nights a week buying latest gadgets/games.
I stopped doing that and ploughed it into savings.
To make my lad aware of things would perhaps draw up a formal "gentlemans agreement".
I) you give x per month in return for board and this amount is saved.
Ii) for every month you continue to reside I will also continue a payment of £20 into your savings account I have set up.
Iii) if money is not paid or amount asked for it can be questioned. (my dad does with me if I need even £100-£200 "what do you need that for?". He knows the money I putting up is for a big holiday and knows how much I have to reach.
Iiii) we've looked at a mortgage, done the Math's and realised it will save me x years paying a mortgage and reduce my mortgage bill by £100-£150 a month.
Sort of corny I know but this is the basic premise of money loans and credit.
Oh, also to save money I will be advising if he needs a loan speak to me and never get a credit card or a bank loan for less than £3k. Bank of Mum and Dad offer a zero percent rate.
Just make sure you actually do save it.
My parents had a similar arrangement with me. But they spent the money, assuming that my dad would continue to earn a high wage and could just take the sum out of his current account. Then he lost his job. Fast forward to today, and the only way he can give me that money is by downsizing or taking it out of his pension, leaving me with something of a moral conundrum.
Soldato
TBF I was earning relatively silly money when I was in my early 20s and all it did was get me perpetually smashed.
Je ne regrette rien.
So peed up a wall. Same as a lot of my money between 16-17.
Soldato
I would. If need be might even arrange some sort of trust.
Sorry your parents didn't think right there.
I was introduced to a lad when i was 18 who was "loaded". I didn't believe him until he showed me his bank balance. Safe to say really he would never need to work unless he purchased a couple of yachts or a fair number of veyrons.
Get your kids earning money from you for doing "chores" from an early age. Teach them the reasons you save and the best way to investigate where to put your money - they can get the basic principles from an early age.
There is no reason whatsoever to save money for your kids - it removes the responsibility from them and denies them the tools to actually manage their own affairs - that's hardly helpful imo. That's treating them like kids still - don't be shocked when they still behave like kids ...
Start them from say the age of seven earning money by doing various chores.
Get them to see which bank gives the best interest.
Get them to fill in the forms.
Help them read the forms and explain hard terminology.
Show them a nice house in your area - say that's what you are saving for.
Show them the local ****hole - say that's your destiny if you don't.
That way you've given them the skills and motivation!
There is no reason whatsoever to save money for your kids - it removes the responsibility from them and denies them the tools to actually manage their own affairs - that's hardly helpful imo. That's treating them like kids still - don't be shocked when they still behave like kids ...
Start them from say the age of seven earning money by doing various chores.
Get them to see which bank gives the best interest.
Get them to fill in the forms.
Help them read the forms and explain hard terminology.
Show them a nice house in your area - say that's what you are saving for.
Show them the local ****hole - say that's your destiny if you don't.
That way you've given them the skills and motivation!
Soldato
My parents charged me £100/month rent. It wasn't a lot, but I wasn't earning a lot. I think they'd planned on it being a surprise, but my mum told me that they were saving it to give it to me towards a house deposit.
Then, when they gave it to me, it was half what I was expecting, because they'd spent the rest.
Now, I wouldn't have been disappointed with that (my parents never earned very much, so were never flush with cash) if she hadn't told me to expect more. It would have been much more of a pleasant surprise.
Associate
I paid 20% of my bring home pay from my first pay packet (less than £100 per week) to the last one before I moved out (about £450 per week). Got me in the habit of taking care of 'money for a roof' which is now my mortgage
FluffySheep
FluffySheep
Yeah, in a way I wish I'd had someone to make me save but given my circumstances, I was independent from a young age and ended up peeing away an awful lot of cash.
If the 0.5 of salary can be put into an account where it can't be withdrawn on a whim, that'd be great. He'll thank you in the end.
Soldato
Cue: Teenage daughter now wanting to buy make-up. See how quickly £300 goes "missing" from piggy banks. All our kids do chores. Even my two year old son has jobs to do. He gets a pound to put in his money boxes (made up from all spare change to make him happy and entertained)
By doing so you can teach them compromise and the removal of that evil desire. I was a kid of the "I want it now" generation but we are talking about the "I wanted it yesterday" generation who want something else at the same point as well.
Also the research from what I teach in sessions shows that parents who both save and teach their children the importance of saving do far better. Parents save most of their children's money because mostly they cant be trusted do it themselves
... They are 7.... Jesus!
Each to their own and I'm not one to preach, but my view is that part of good parenting includes preparing kids for the world. I made it clear that kids were expected to contribute, in non-financial ways, as soon as they were old enough, and that we were family, not their personal servants. They got chores to do, though clearly, age-relevant chores.
As for monetary contributions, my kids starting contributing as soon as they were earning. It was a modext contriution, as their eatnings were modest, and went up as earnings went up. I wanted them to understand, both consciously and intuitively, that good things don't just happen and that the tooth fairy is for kids.
We're not hard up and the kids have done well, never really wanting for anything, short of instant gratification of whims. They weren't happy about contributing, at least initially, but I did point out that they could decline to contrjbute, abd we would then decline to pay for ho, idays, lend them Dad's car, help them get on the property ladder, etc.
What we didn't tell them was that every cent they "contributed" was put into an investment fund for each of them, and we matched what they put it.
It's a balance, in my opinion, between giving kids the best start and not spoiling them, by installing false expectations of the way of the world.
Soldato
Yea. Cheers
We all have our own views on what's best for our kids. I know for example my daughter will be lucky see a 4 figure sum from my ex (given I know she digs into her account for emergencies (emergency is not being able get a spray tan or nails done)). So I really feel for her there. Her birthday and Christmas the rule is she has max of thirty from each to go away and spend.
Seems harsh, but at 25 when hopefully she will have near ten k in there, dad will be the one who said told you so. Just hope she doesn't turn out like her mum in regards to spending.
Caporegime
I started paying housekeep as soon as I started earning, which was at 16. It was only a token amount as I wasn't earning much (£35 a week income, think I was paying £40 a month housekeep). As my income rose, so did my contributions. I moved out at 24.
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Soldato
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Can't imagine ever charging my children anything, and my parents certainly wouldn't have charged me. Looking far ahead we have a second property in London that we are intending to let them stay in rent free if they work in London to allow them to save for their own homes.
It really depends on your means though, if I was in your mother's situation I would probably be looking for a contribution.
Helping out with the jobs when you live at home should go without saying.
It really depends on your means though, if I was in your mother's situation I would probably be looking for a contribution.
Helping out with the jobs when you live at home should go without saying.
Caporegime
e: nnngh wrong button.
Soldato
- Joined
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When younger they should be helping with chores around the house. It does not have to be a lot but the sooner children get used to contributing the better. Their own development benefits. As they get older they should do a little more, again it does not have to be much, it is the principle. When earning they should contribute an amount negotiated between parent and offspring.
Soldato