Poll: Were you Smacked as a child?
- Thread starter Slime101
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Agreed , this is how I wish to bring up any kids of my own.
I'm sorry to hear about the things that happened Mr MindYerBeak Sir. I've known people who have been treated heavy handed by their parents , and they have been depressed , upset , and don't know and don't seem able to get themselves out of it. Its very upsetting to see , and theres nothing that can be said to help them , i'm sure you know well enough yourself.
a lot of parents that smack 'liberally' , not meaning to be snobby... are usually the dregs of society , the teenage mothers and the like. Its too much effort for some people to go to the effort of explaining and loving their child as a parent should , its just easier for them to give them a whack on the head or the bottom so they can go and watch their soaps or whatever in peace. People like this are not fit to bring up kids , and they shouldn't be allowed to.
Drunks and drug abusers coming home spoiling for a fight , not a lot can be done about that unless all smacking was made illegal.
There are many compelling reasons to make it illegal , but there is cuh a fine line between 'tough love' and 'child abuse' in the world I'm at a loss to a real solution. I only wish those parents who are unfit to bring up a child and to love and adore them as they should could be screened and banned from having children..
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Soldato
4
The reason youth is the way it is nowadays is because parents are afraid to smack them thanks to do gooders frowning upon it. In saying this, I'm only 19, but I was smacked as a child and am the better for it. I have respect for people which I probably wouldn't have if I went around getting away with everything which is what seems to happen nowadays....
The reason youth is the way it is nowadays is because parents are afraid to smack them thanks to do gooders frowning upon it. In saying this, I'm only 19, but I was smacked as a child and am the better for it. I have respect for people which I probably wouldn't have if I went around getting away with everything which is what seems to happen nowadays....
Soldato
Well said. It makes me realise what my parents have really gave me and I appreciate them more for it. It makes me stronger inside aswell and I think this is needed in the harsh world of ours.
Associate
4) I was smacked as a child, but only when I did something very wrong. I remember not being smacked very often, the threat of a smack was bad enough. I will be smacking my children in the same manor. I dont think it is right to smack a child with anything but your bare hand though.
Associate
4 - my parents used a combination of snacking me and using psychology, my sister now is doing the same with hers - if they commit a serious offence she smacks them - her children are some of the best behaved in her area too. I don't have any kids, but I'd smack them if I felt it was required. I grew up knowing right from wrong, and it taught me to respect my elders.
4.
I think the key thing is that a smack should never be administered in anger, and that it should never be used as a catharsis for the parent's mistake. The reasons behind what you did wrong should also always be explained, and it should only be done when there is no other alternative.
Different approaches from my parents made me view it totally differently depending on who administered it. My mum would smack me, rant and generally it would seem like a total over-reaction on her part. My dad, on the other hand, rarely smacked me, but when he did, I KNEW I was in trouble, and knew exactly why. suffice to say the latter worked from a discipline point of view, and the former didn't.
-Dolph
I think the key thing is that a smack should never be administered in anger, and that it should never be used as a catharsis for the parent's mistake. The reasons behind what you did wrong should also always be explained, and it should only be done when there is no other alternative.
Different approaches from my parents made me view it totally differently depending on who administered it. My mum would smack me, rant and generally it would seem like a total over-reaction on her part. My dad, on the other hand, rarely smacked me, but when he did, I KNEW I was in trouble, and knew exactly why. suffice to say the latter worked from a discipline point of view, and the former didn't.
-Dolph
Man of Honour
4.
It didn't happen very often, but on the handful of occasions that it did, by god did I deserve it.
It didn't happen very often, but on the handful of occasions that it did, by god did I deserve it.
Soldato
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There's a difference between disciplining a child and spoiling him. It's no good removing discipline entirely and turning the child into an obnoxious, selfish, spoilt brat who cares only for himself and not one iota for the feelings of others. On the other hand heavy handedness can turn children into freaks, criminals, a semblance of their real selves, dysfunctional, unable to know where their boundaries lie.
Because of heavy handedness by lazy parents a curb on smacking full stop has to be enforced. This will cut down on physical child abuse. Now all we need do is concentrate on not spoiling our little brats and Johnny Wonderfuls. Again, lazy parenting. It takes a great deal of hard work to sit down and discipline your children correctly without resorting to violence or spoiling the little dears. Lazy parenting needs to be discouraged and parents weaned off Coronation Street. Proper parenting methods should be part of the school curriculum and children taught the disadvantages of lazy parenting. That way we may move forward into a better outlook for future parents and their offspring.
Because of heavy handedness by lazy parents a curb on smacking full stop has to be enforced. This will cut down on physical child abuse. Now all we need do is concentrate on not spoiling our little brats and Johnny Wonderfuls. Again, lazy parenting. It takes a great deal of hard work to sit down and discipline your children correctly without resorting to violence or spoiling the little dears. Lazy parenting needs to be discouraged and parents weaned off Coronation Street. Proper parenting methods should be part of the school curriculum and children taught the disadvantages of lazy parenting. That way we may move forward into a better outlook for future parents and their offspring.
I'm with Beaky and kandyman on this one, a parent who feels that smacking is the only way will end up ruining the life of the child they are abusing.
I was smacked (read abused) as a child and it takes a big part of your life away from you, my ex used to smack the kids when I wasn't around, I have only found this out over the past few months, I'm now the single parent looking after my kids and also looking after 2 of hers, my step kids basically, they have since found out that although discipline can be severe, it doesn't have to be physical.
There is no need to ruin a childs future by beating them, you just have to think about things and find ways to punish them without breaking their spirit.
A child should be told why you are disciplining them and the punishment shouldn't be excessive, just enough to teach them right from wrong; this can help them learn respect without thinking that violence is the only resort to something wrong.
I was smacked (read abused) as a child and it takes a big part of your life away from you, my ex used to smack the kids when I wasn't around, I have only found this out over the past few months, I'm now the single parent looking after my kids and also looking after 2 of hers, my step kids basically, they have since found out that although discipline can be severe, it doesn't have to be physical.
There is no need to ruin a childs future by beating them, you just have to think about things and find ways to punish them without breaking their spirit.
A child should be told why you are disciplining them and the punishment shouldn't be excessive, just enough to teach them right from wrong; this can help them learn respect without thinking that violence is the only resort to something wrong.
Soldato
To be honest I don't think a law against smacking would do anything. By making it illegal those who use smacking in a positive way would lose a valuable method of teaching whats really wrong, and those who are really heavy handed in my opinion would still do it anyway
This is very true - youll never stop those who abuse theri children under the pretences of disciplin. Sadly some parents do take it too far, luckily as shown in this post altho a minority and a small sample smacking when used carefully does work and can be effective.
Associate
1)
Wasn't smacked and still respect my parents and other people.
I think parents hitting children is horrible to be honest.
Wasn't smacked and still respect my parents and other people.
I think parents hitting children is horrible to be honest.
Soldato
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So far there are 57 + 5 = 62 people who advocate smacking kiddies. There are only 5 + 4 = 9 people who are against smacking.
Do you not see how widespread and accepted it is to smack a defenceless child? In essence it can be considered a form of bullying. We're used to smacking kiddies and accept it as the norm for the raising of a child.
You become what you are taught is a well known saying. What's the point in having a well behaved child who's been brought up in a smacking environment if that child's life has been changed according to the wishes of it's parent? The child itself is not it's true self, but a reflection of the parent. Most parents try and model their kids on themselves rather than allow them to develope their own characters and personas. If you've been smacked as a child, it's almost certain that you will smack your child, too. It's a never ending cycle of violence and is the widespread continued norm of lazy parenting in my opinion. Sit your kids down and explain right and wrong to them, not raise your hand in anger to someone who can't fight back. You wouldn't dare raise your hand to an adult who could. Children are not as thick as some people give them credit for.
Do you not see how widespread and accepted it is to smack a defenceless child? In essence it can be considered a form of bullying. We're used to smacking kiddies and accept it as the norm for the raising of a child.
You become what you are taught is a well known saying. What's the point in having a well behaved child who's been brought up in a smacking environment if that child's life has been changed according to the wishes of it's parent? The child itself is not it's true self, but a reflection of the parent. Most parents try and model their kids on themselves rather than allow them to develope their own characters and personas. If you've been smacked as a child, it's almost certain that you will smack your child, too. It's a never ending cycle of violence and is the widespread continued norm of lazy parenting in my opinion. Sit your kids down and explain right and wrong to them, not raise your hand in anger to someone who can't fight back. You wouldn't dare raise your hand to an adult who could. Children are not as thick as some people give them credit for.
Associate
4.
It didn't happen often but when it did I knew I had crossed the line. Up until the age of 7 I was brought up by 3 people my nana (the one who treated both me and my brother equally but died when I was 7) my mum (who favoured my brother) and my dad (who wasn't allowed to punish my brother).
I grew up in the same environment as my brother though we both actually had very different up bringings. My brother is 2 years younger than me and was very much my mums favourite, we were both mainly brought up by my mother as my dad was in the navy and away most of the time. When I stepped out of line I was hit normally by my mother and on occasion (when I actually deserved it) by my dad and Nana. My mum has rarely hit my brother, and my dad has only ever once, but if he yelled at my brother or anything like that then he used to get grief (my Nana didn't)
Now me and my brother are very different people. I have a good sense or right and wrong, honest, usually law abiding. Generally a fairly decent person who respects my parents. Now my brother is actually a nasty piece of work, he puts on a charming apperance but is actually a really nasty piece of work for example frequently rasing his fist to people when he doesn't get his own way, this includes our mum, I have seen him nearly hit her on several occasions. 90% of the time I am ashamed to share genetics with the boy because he is such a nasty piece of work.
And the only real difference I can see between us is that I was smacked as a child and he wasn't. He was told things were 'bad' or 'not to do that'.
Seeing this difference I can say I fully surport smaking children if it is done as a means of disiplining and not abuse. A short sharp shock or the threat of one will act far better as a means of deterring behaviour or misbehaviour than trying to reason with a child.
-Evilandrea
It didn't happen often but when it did I knew I had crossed the line. Up until the age of 7 I was brought up by 3 people my nana (the one who treated both me and my brother equally but died when I was 7) my mum (who favoured my brother) and my dad (who wasn't allowed to punish my brother).
I grew up in the same environment as my brother though we both actually had very different up bringings. My brother is 2 years younger than me and was very much my mums favourite, we were both mainly brought up by my mother as my dad was in the navy and away most of the time. When I stepped out of line I was hit normally by my mother and on occasion (when I actually deserved it) by my dad and Nana. My mum has rarely hit my brother, and my dad has only ever once, but if he yelled at my brother or anything like that then he used to get grief (my Nana didn't)
Now me and my brother are very different people. I have a good sense or right and wrong, honest, usually law abiding. Generally a fairly decent person who respects my parents. Now my brother is actually a nasty piece of work, he puts on a charming apperance but is actually a really nasty piece of work for example frequently rasing his fist to people when he doesn't get his own way, this includes our mum, I have seen him nearly hit her on several occasions. 90% of the time I am ashamed to share genetics with the boy because he is such a nasty piece of work.
And the only real difference I can see between us is that I was smacked as a child and he wasn't. He was told things were 'bad' or 'not to do that'.
Seeing this difference I can say I fully surport smaking children if it is done as a means of disiplining and not abuse. A short sharp shock or the threat of one will act far better as a means of deterring behaviour or misbehaviour than trying to reason with a child.
-Evilandrea
Theres that line. u know whether to smack or not.
Its something a parent has to deal with. I look back and i thank god that i turned out ok. Now i wonder how can i get my children to avoid the wrong things in life.
What is it gonna take.
Too much smacking and yelling just pushes them straight into things like that.
Can sometimes make them really disobedient aswell. On the other hand doing nothing and letting ur kids be spoilt can be just as bad.
So u have to find that line.
Its something a parent has to deal with. I look back and i thank god that i turned out ok. Now i wonder how can i get my children to avoid the wrong things in life.
What is it gonna take.
Too much smacking and yelling just pushes them straight into things like that.
Can sometimes make them really disobedient aswell. On the other hand doing nothing and letting ur kids be spoilt can be just as bad.
So u have to find that line.
Associate
*smack* It's discipline not disaplin! *smack*
j/k
but to answer the question I would have to go for option 4.
Man of Honour
But Beaky, the majority of people who are advocating it were smacked themselves, so surely they have a good idea what they are talking about?
Soldato
I was smacked as a child for misbehaving, but it was the sheer humiliation of being smacked that made me cry, not the pain. It was only ever a slap on the bum or the back of the legs and never ACTUALLY hurt. It was only ever used as a last resort, and I don't blame my parents for smacking me cos I was a little madam at times 
I don't think there is anything wrong with smacking a child at all. However, there is a clear distinction between smacking and hitting. Hitting a child is WRONG. If they show any sign of real pain or bruise then it's too far. For me, the definition of a 'smack' is a little slap on the bum or legs designed to shock/embarass more than hurt.
I don't think there is anything wrong with smacking a child at all. However, there is a clear distinction between smacking and hitting. Hitting a child is WRONG. If they show any sign of real pain or bruise then it's too far. For me, the definition of a 'smack' is a little slap on the bum or legs designed to shock/embarass more than hurt.
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