Poll: Were you Smacked as a child?

[Lostkat]

Originally posted by MindYerBeak
Nopeski, I'm not generalising on ALL parents, just those that wear the hat, and it is, as I said, more widespread than people think. Some parents mould their children into their own image and demand they be "just like them" because of what they've been taught; they are totally selfish in their ways and want a child which is the exact replica of themselves. Their child realises the dreams and ambitions they could never achieve, hopefully in their eyes. Thus a child is robbed of his "freedom", can never be himself, but merely a reflection of his parent. This, to my mind, is the ultimate sin, to stop a child being the person he really is and modellled on your own reflection, as though a mirror image.

Thanks. Understood more now I still don't think this is the case nowadays. Maybe in the past, but certainly not anymore. Kids have much more "rights" now than they used to. If anything children aren't disciplined enough. Have you heard some of the language kids come out with nowadays And have you seen the way they treat adults? I would never have dared to speak to an adult the way some kids do. It's shocking. It all boils down to lack of discipline and apathetic parents who would rather sit their kids in front of the tv/computer than spend 'quality time' with them.

A criminal is not made, he's born. A hardened criminal has been shown to have a brain different from the law abiding community. He sees no wrong in criminal activity. Similarly with a serial killer. All the smacks and insults in the world won't reform these criminals, and neither will imprisonment or the fear of death as recompense for their misdeeds.

Maybe so, but I wasn't talking about serial killers. Petty criminals and thieves are a production of apathetic parents and a disfunctional society. You leave your kids to grow up how they want then they'll end up thinking it's ok to steal other people's property and duff people up

 

[Darryn]

4 - Yes I was smacked, didnt do me any harm and is an effective way of instilling discipline.

I often see children running around supermarkets causing mischief, shouting and bawling and it wouldnt take much of a smack to make the child behave, but the parents just dont care.
I often feel like smacking the parents to be honest.

I feel that getting smacked as a child has taught me to respect my parents and wouldnt hesistate to smack my children if I thought it was nessecary.

Although now im 24 I think my parents should stop it now.

 

[Lostkat]

Originally posted by DreederOcUK

I often feel like smacking the parents to be honest.

LOL maybe that's the solution Whenever a kid misbehaves, a big hand (not unlike the National Lottery pointy hand) comes down and whacks the parent one in the chops.

 

[astralcars]

Originally posted by MindYerBeak
Consider your words carefully, good sir, and see what you've aspired to. You say "Problems arise when a child won't respond to a well administered smack, causing parents to resort to proper beatings." A "proper beating"? You see how you have introduced the word "proper" into the sentence? I'm sure you don't mean a severe lampooning, but far too many parents view a "proper" beating which causes great grief and change in personality, as being the norm. There is no "proper" beating. A smack is a smack and is violence whichever way you look at it. Even a gentle smack is a form of violence, no matter how hard people may try to gloss it over. Your use of the word "proper" goes to show how well violence towards children is ingrained into society. It's accepted as being normal, but uncaring parents cause their offspring to suffer an enormous amount of grief, believe you me.

Yes, a smack is a form of violence - that can't be denied. However, I'm sure you'll agree not all forms of violence are equal. By 'proper beating', I meant a parent hitting a child repeatedly in anger with excessive force. You're right in saying that different parents will have differing ideas as to how much force is necessary, but on the whole, parents are sensible enough to use smacking in a way which doesn't cause any harm in the long run. Surely the number of people in this thread in favour of smacking is a testament to that. There is little/no evidence to suggest that violence in todays society has anything to do with a child being smacked by a caring parent.

 

[Will]

Originally posted by Lopéz
4.

It didn't happen very often, but on the handful of occasions that it did, by god did I deserve it.

Twas the same for me...

 

[silverpaw]

Violence shouldn't be a part of society or a family home. Smacking a child - whether hard or not in your mind - is teaching them to behave violently when someone does something they dislike or are against.

 

[Fedaykin]

Have to agree with Lostkat about 'smacking' being a 'shock delivery treatment' I can't ever remember being 'hurt' by a smack round the head or a smack on the botty! And having my bum smacked in public , even as a kid was mighty embarassing..

To be honest , its all about crime and punishment on a smaller and younger scale...

If someone was say... a serial killer... either mentally derranged , a proffesional killer , a gangster , or just generally cranky or whatnot. WHAT do you think would be a deterrant from killing at all to begin with , or for others seeing this example... do you honestly think a judge having a nice little chat about why 'murder is wrong mmmmkay?' will be a deterrant? NO , i'm sure you don't.

Now , lets apply this to kids , I used to be naughty , and nick cookies from the biscuit tin... now I used to get a telling off , no smacks , and then left... did it stop me from stealing more cookies? HELL NO!!! The reward of that crumbly chocolaty goodness was well worth a bit of parental whinging , and to be honest I still steal from the biscuit tin

EVEN TO THIS DAY!!

Okay , i'm 21 , and I actually buy all the sweet biscuits in the house hehe , but still , I can't remember ever not grabbing a biscuit whch at the time I wasn't allowed to have due to just being greedy or general good dietry reasons as dicatated by my father.

Now , if I was givin a little smacky for it (which might of been a good idea, I may not be eating like a 5 year old like I am now if I had been!). Is that cookie really worth the discomfort and the MASSIVE embarassment? No , cookie could stay in tin , soooo not worth it!!

I may be oversimplifying , and it IS going a bit OTT to smack a kid because hes peckish and likes chocolate.. but i'm sure i've demonstrated jsut as to WHY that sort of discipline is needed on certain occasions.

Its all a matter of balance , being the academic teacher of rights and wrongs , and being the barrier STOPPING a child from doing wrong before they get themselves into trouble...

As I mentioned before, I used to get smacked in the street for running out infront of cars and not paying attention to my green cross code. I was a toddler , I didn't know any better , but without that conditioning , i'm sure eventually when my Dads back was turned , i'd happily wander into the path of a fast moving car and be splattered all over the road... and you wouldn't be reading this fantastic post today!

 

[Quagmire]

Yes I was smacked, didnt do me any harm and is an effective way of instilling discipline

Didn't do me any harm, although it should be done in the right circumstances!!!

Unlike parent you see walking down the when there children start crying, ah lets just hit them one see if that makes a difference, in addition they make a scene on the street. Well thats an eveyday occurence here in scummy DUndee.

ALthough, as a child I was smacked when I done something bad, and I never done it again! I have grown up to be a responsible person, although personally, I would no resort to smacking myself.

 

[thebrasso]

i was smacked and it didn't do me any harm.

 

[MindYerBeak]

I put down the behaviour of todays children and lack of respect in the fact that they stopped caning in schools, which was a good thing. However, caning, which was a form of discipline, was not replaced by another form of discipline to compensate, hence the lack of respect by kiddies in today's society. Joe Public cannot be relied upon to discipline his kids properly, hence it was left to teachers to teach them the error of their ways, wrongly.

Parents today do one of two things: they either discipline their kids too harshly via violence, or spoil them. Since discipline is no longer available in schools respect by children has gone downhill, because Mummy and Daddy are too lazy to administer it. Hence the problems with kids and respect. They even resort to murder and muggings these days to get their kicks. Enforced respect via fear is not true respect.

I'm not totally against light smacks in order to discipline kids, but far too many bad parents will take advantage and use it to their own ends. Hence a ban is essential to deter them. I ain't no DoGooder. I often walk through supermarkets, hear screaming kids, and think to myself a good slap across the back of the head would do them a power of good. This is a result of my insane and violent upbringing. It's true the parents, not the kids, need to be punished. If a child below a certain age commits a crime, then imprison or fine the parents. Enforce parents to discipline their kiddies, and if too harsh, imprison them yet again. Tough measures are called for and a rethink of violence towards kiddies needs to be looked at.

 

[Fedaykin]

AH ,almost forgot to put this in...

Mr MYB does have a small point , can't be bothered to quote as i'm extremely tired...

but as an example , I go into supermarkets doing my shopping etc etc , and a kid will just cry out and say..

'mummy mummy , i'm hungry i'm hungry'

The parent will often IGNORE the child completely , so this just basically escalates to the child / children throwing a paddy and screaching and crying and clawing away.

The first reaction is usually for the parent to say 'shut up , shut yer trap , that man over there will be very angry with you if you're noisy'. (I hate this , i'm nothing to do with it and i'm made to appear a monster to some random kid , bah , anwyay , I digress).

The kids will continue to screech and whine , often going up a few 100 decibels..

Once the parent has had enough , they grab a random sweet or snack , shove it in the kids mouths , tell them 'there you go , will you shut up now?' and go about their merry way.

Parents without the COMMON SENSE to see that their kids know that they are a soft-touch , and with enough whinging they'll win and get spoiled rotten will continue to repeat to god knows what they'll turn out like as adults..

So I agree with Mr MYB that spoiling is bad and that there are a lot of lazy parents around.

Hmm kinda tired , can't really link it to any arguement but i'm sure I wrote all this for a reason! Must sleep lol!

 

[MindYerBeak]

Originally posted by thebrasso
i was smacked and it didn't do me any harm.

I've heard this phrase quoted many, many times. But how do you really know? I don't mean you personally, but how many kids have had their personalities changed due to "smacks"? If a smack is administered and not properly validated it will cause problems in later life. Everyone claims it did them no harm because it's an accepted norm within society, but what about those whose whacks are not validated?

Can you all not see that you accept child beating as acceptable? Gloss it over all you like but hitting a child is violence, toward a person unable to defend himself. A light whack it may be, but it's still violence toward another human being. Why hit someone you supposedly "love"? To "teach" them respect?

Bring on Bod and JodieG...

 

[theleg]

Originally posted by MindYerBeak
I don't mean you personally, but how many kids have had their personalities changed due to "smacks"?

and how many have had theirs changed by quiet words in the ear from parents? The parents have a profound effect on their kids whether they smack or not. Youre argument about changing personalities doesnt hold water because all forms of discipline and teaching do the same.

Why hit someone you supposedly "love"? To "teach" them respect?

Supposedly? I find that quite offensive to be honest. That of course can be turned around...Why would you not discipline the child you love because you were scared of being too harsh...Why would you destroy your childs future by not instilling a sense of right and wrong in them from a young age? Why would you consign your child to a young offenders institute because you were too worried about smacks.

I think the results of this poll tell me all I need to know. When I have kids, im not going to rule out smacking them altogether..If I can avoid it, I will..But im not going to put my childs future in danger because I lack the courage of my convictions.

 

[MindYerBeak]

As it now stands, 140 as opposed to 27 people on these forums condone violence towards kids. Don't gloss it over, folks, you're living in denial. Violence is violence, don't justify your actions by saying you only administer a light smack. It's violence, pure and simple, toward a person who cannot defend himself.

Gloss it over all you like, put a shine on it and polish it up, but you're administering violence towards a defencless child, someone you "love". Is it any wonder the world's in the state it is when so many people interpret the meaning of "love" to mean a violent act? Don't take it personally, but reflect on what I'm trying to get across.

 

[Fedaykin]

The main problem is... there is no way to effectively 'control' the 'level' of 'discipline' its simply not possible , parents have to use their own judgement , and sadly sometimes that judgement is pretty poor.
The only thing I can think is the government offering advice in some kind of public information format , perhaps 'how to be a good parent' leaflets in doctors surgeries and whatnot. It seems ridiculous that something like this would be neccesary , but not all parents are born with the skills..
I'm sure many parents on the forums will agree that once their first child or children are born , that from that moment on , parenting is a new and constant learning curve!
Smacking is neccesary because I guarantee , children are never really going to know whats good for them unless its drilled into them one way or another!
Smacking , is , a severe thing , either thorough a small amount of pain or a large amount of embarassment , if I caught any child of mine playing with knives in the kitchen for example , I'm not going to have time to explain to them why stabbing it in their chest isn't a good idea , i'm going to have to act swiftly and decisively and clip em round the ear to let them know what they're doing is SEVERELY dangerous , and thus warrants a SEVERE warning.
Again were back to conditioning , if htey know something 'severe' is going to happen then they won't do it again..
The only problem is , what some parents idea of 'severe' is , and that is the crux of the problem , parents need more education..

 

[Ex-RoNiN]

Yes I was smacked and it's affected me since then and it shouldn't be used for discipline of kids

When you see your stepfather beating your mum into hospital, your sister and yourself, you can't but help being affected.

Despite the past, I still think the odd smack on the bottom doesn't do any harm, but when parents overdo it, it makes my blood boil.

 

[MindYerBeak]

Originally posted by Balddog
and how many have had theirs changed by quiet words in the ear from parents? The parents have a profound effect on their kids whether they smack or not. Youre argument about changing personalities doesnt hold water because all forms of discipline and teaching do the same.



Supposedly? I find that quite offensive to be honest. That of course can be turned around...Why would you not discipline the child you love because you were scared of being too harsh...Why would you destroy your childs future by not instilling a sense of right and wrong in them from a young age? Why would you consign your child to a young offenders institute because you were too worried about smacks.

I think the results of this poll tell me all I need to know. When I have kids, im not going to rule out smacking them altogether..If I can avoid it, I will..But im not going to put my childs future in danger because I lack the courage of my convictions.

Don't try and bend my words, sir, you know full well I mean violent retribution not quiet words.

I had a horrific upbring, but I've never been imprisoned, or committed a criminal offence. The mind of a hardened criminal, as I've stated previously, is different from ours. If your child has a normal brain he won't resort to criminal activity. Encouragement is the key, not a whacking.

 

[Ex-RoNiN]

Originally posted by Mikol
Hmm sorry for you buddy. But the end is right also, obviously when I was smacked I wasn't beaten, I was tapped and a odd slap on the wrist. I agree that I should be allowed to tap my child. I would never hit them. I love children way too much to hurt them. I just think that a little tap should be administered to ensure they know what is right or wrong. I have the most loving parents you could imagine and I'm the same due to them teaching me the way they did.

That's what I said The (light) slaps I received on my bottom for flooding the house or setting fire to one of the trees when I was five were ok

What was not ok was my stepfather beating me up with my own bloody tennis racket when I tried to help my mother, who at that stage was almost drowning in her own blood Or my stepfather whacking his fist into my sister's face because she dropped an ice cream onto the carpet

 

[shroom]

4) and i deeply respect my parents for having the courage to do it, as i imagine it is incredibly difficult to harm your own child, at least in the majority of cases. It has done me a world of good, and im perfectly happy with it.

Besides that, as ive grown up, ive learnt from my mistakes without getting told off for doing bad things because of the morals that were taught to me when i was young.As well as that, ive gotten a lot bigger, and neither my mum or dad would hit me now at all, firstly because it wouldnt hurt, and just serve as a patronising action, as it would be treating me like a child, and secondly because there is now no need. Im a good boy

 

[theleg]

Originally posted by MindYerBeak
As it now stands, 140 as opposed to 27 people on these forums condone violence towards kids. .

You can make it as emotive as you want but its not gonna change the necessity and the effectiveness of smacking in the bringing up of a child.

The vast majority of people who have replied to this poll were smacked as kids and most have said its done them no harm whatsoever, in fact its done them good.

I dont think you, or anyone else is qualified to refute that.