My boyfriend of 6 years this march, provided a shock for me this weekend. I found a message on his phone sent to a 'calum' saying 'hi honey, shouldn't be so spineless should i xxx' That was in his sent box. When i confronted him , as he was sitting next to me he quickly took the phone off me and deleted it and said he sent it to me. I obviosly got ****** off, and walked out the room he then told me it was his pal Sally who i have never heard of, and they have been talking for a while. And that it started with flirting and for the mobile records it was alot for 3 weeks. He had a £90 phone bill which he said was due to the fact that he had been contacting someone in his work re work who worked on a boat, so like a fool i believed him , if i had checked the phone bill in more detail i woul have seen the txts started as soon as he left the house and calls untill he came into the house at night, late night calls when i havent been there which he must have started. looking at the records it was quite intence for 3 weeks then calmed down. He told me to begin with it was flirting then he decided to stop the flirting she spat the dummy although she has a fiance. He said dont be like that and that he would still talk to her on email. He doesnt consider it cheating but as far as im conserned it is as he did it behind my back, it hurt, it's lying which he obviously did to me. He has said that he is going to stop talking to her, he said its a relief because he was getting bored talking to her about the same stuff. I would like some advise - would you call that cheating. There was alot of txt message and calls to her mobile and office and she lives 700 miles away. She said she could understand my reaction and that her fiance would dump her if he found out as he has been cheated on but in her opinion it wasn't cheating.... and that he should decide himself if he wants to talk to her (ie me not order him not to talk to her - which i havent done it was his choice) So its happened over 3 months - handy thing telephone records , i tursted him cause he said he wouldn't cheat on me but i find this a form of cheating... he says its not, it was just a bit of fun....so he says but cant really rememeber everything that was said. jsut chit chat and filting. would you call this cheating??