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When being robbed is on the other foot!

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by SfnX, 12 Oct 2009.

  1. SfnX

    Wise Guy

    Joined: 9 Apr 2009

    Posts: 1,134

    Location: Newcastle Upon Tyne

    This Add Was Posted in the Personals of The New York Times


    To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last. Date: 05-27-09, 1:43 AM EST.

    I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on my girlfriend, threatening our lives and me.

    You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings.

    I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.

    First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment when I drew my pistol after you took my Jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.

    My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening.

    Obviously you agree that it is a very Intimidating weapon when pointed at your head wasn't it?

    I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from bare footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].

    After I called your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I Went and filled up my gas tank as well as four other people's in the gas station on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!

    I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go’s, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]

    I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb ... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.

    Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone.
    Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what's going on with that?

    Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target. The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).

    In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider the career path you've chosen to pursue in life.

    Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.

    Have a good day!

    Thoughtfully yours,
    Alex


    I dont think this guy likes to be robbed...but anyway its great that he stuck up for this gf etc but bloody hell he practically destroyed the robber. Got this from an email at work, good chuckle!

    I dont really think its a good way of being protected to carry a .45 cal pistol in ur pants or holster and prepared to mug..the mugger
     
  2. antijoke

    Caporegime

    Joined: 28 Jan 2003

    Posts: 38,516

    Location: Stratford-Upon-Avon

    It's America. And the story is probably fake too.
     
    Last edited: 12 Oct 2009
  3. Dj_Jestar

    Caporegime

    Joined: 18 Oct 2002

    Posts: 28,997

    Location: Back in East London

    Meh, probably BS anyway.
     
  4. SfnX

    Wise Guy

    Joined: 9 Apr 2009

    Posts: 1,134

    Location: Newcastle Upon Tyne

    wouldnt be suprised if it isnt ;D
     
  5. Sawell

    Wise Guy

    Joined: 7 Sep 2005

    Posts: 1,701

    Location: Southampton

    Looks like BS. And why smash up someone elses car, cause a panic with the authorities and generally annoy other people just because you got mugged. What a jerk.
     
  6. twist3d0n3

    Capodecina

    Joined: 3 Aug 2008

    Posts: 10,483

    Location: Bath, England

    do you think its real?

    the bits about the FBI and barak obama seem just a little ott
     
  7. misterPK

    Mobster

    Joined: 18 Apr 2007

    Posts: 3,706

    Location: Probably in a river somewhere

    *sniff sniff*

    I smell male bovine feaces.

    PK!
     
  8. Smit

    Soldato

    Joined: 6 Mar 2003

    Posts: 6,224

    Location: West Lothian

    Not real :p
    Or very stupid guy using a cell phone to the FBI/DA
     
  9. krooton

    Caporegime

    Joined: 9 May 2004

    Posts: 26,599

    Location: Leafy outskirts of London

    Do they not have PIN on their cards over there? How would he pay for all the petrol without one?
     
  10. brummie

    Mobster

    Joined: 3 Feb 2003

    Posts: 2,848

    Location: Shropshire

    this
     
  11. bledd

    Don

    Joined: 21 Oct 2002

    Posts: 46,755

    Location: Parts Unknown

    indeed

    would have been more realistic if he'd not "done" the pimps car and called the FBI :/
     
  12. SfnX

    Wise Guy

    Joined: 9 Apr 2009

    Posts: 1,134

    Location: Newcastle Upon Tyne

    ye it may be fake but its a good laf!
     
  13. mac1st3

    Mobster

    Joined: 14 Jun 2009

    Posts: 4,170

    Location: Southampton

    that's what I'm thinking, funny, but not likely
     
  14. Cosimo

    Man of Honour

    Joined: 9 Jan 2007

    Posts: 163,800

    Location: Londinium

    A very strong smell.
     
  15. zytok

    Wise Guy

    Joined: 12 Feb 2004

    Posts: 2,325

    Location: Chesterfield

    was vaguely amusing upto the point he starts using the guys cards, keying cars etc then he's no better than the mugger really. If he'd just pulled the gun on him and made him run away bare foot, that would've been kinda fun.
     
  16. markweatherill

    Mobster

    Joined: 16 Jun 2009

    Posts: 2,567

    Location: Bucks

    Snopes.com has this as 'undetermined' but it reads like a made-up story, for sure.
     
  17. Efour

    Caporegime

    Joined: 8 Sep 2005

    Posts: 26,377

    Location: Norrbotten, Sweden.

    Would be easy to confirm however what starts out feasible rapidly descends to beyond BS.

    If for some reason it was proven true then im quite sure the mugger/gang would kill this guy for such..

    conclusion - Americans are mostly idiots.
     
  18. Jono8

    Caporegime

    Joined: 20 May 2007

    Posts: 33,495

    Location: Surrey

    faked signature?
     
  19. Fenris

    Sgarrista

    Joined: 3 Feb 2009

    Posts: 8,693

    Location: Brighton, UK.

    Should have cut it at the:

    "I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from bare footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me."

    Part, the rest is just too silly.
     
  20. Kristoph

    Sgarrista

    Joined: 11 May 2007

    Posts: 8,298

    Really? It sounded like a really really bad short story written by a teenager.