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Work in progress...

Discussion in 'Music, Box Office, TV & Books' started by Garp, 8 Jun 2006.

  1. Garp

    Capodecina

    Joined: 18 Oct 2002

    Posts: 10,573

    Location: Seattle

    A friend of mine sent me some poetry/prose that she was wandering about putting to music some way but was drawing up blanks, so I've given it a rough shot. I've really got to get a decent mic for recording, this cheapo thing is horrific.

    New song, Its very much in early stages I guess, a verses or two could possibly do with either ditching or turning into a bridge to give the song a bit more shape, at the moment it feels a little long and samey. The chorus I'm not so happy with its something I ad-libbed, but she likes it.
    Anyone got any other critiques?
     
  2. Matblack

    Capodecina

    Joined: 23 Jan 2004

    Posts: 15,628

    Location: On my Boat, Drinking

    OT: turn your MSN on

    MB
     
  3. cleanbluesky

    Capodecina

    Joined: 2 Nov 2004

    Posts: 24,654

    Yes, the chorus (as far as I can tell) is only a 2x speed equivalent of the verse - there needs to be a little bit more build up in the bridge and then something very different (the special part) in the chorus...
     
  4. Garp

    Capodecina

    Joined: 18 Oct 2002

    Posts: 10,573

    Location: Seattle

    Yeah.. the chorus is most definately weak, its just something I adlibbed as I went along, feeling the need for something to fill the gap. Its first on my list for replacing :D
     
  5. Sic

    Capodecina

    Joined: 9 Nov 2004

    Posts: 15,365

    Location: SO16

    whatever happened to that last one you posted? you said it wasn't going to go anywhere but i thought it had loads of potential. did you ever finish it? was quite a while ago now.

    i'll check this one out when i have speakers :)
     
  6. Garp

    Capodecina

    Joined: 18 Oct 2002

    Posts: 10,573

    Location: Seattle

    This one? 6ft Deep

    Pretty much complete. Done it a few times at the pub and had good responses to it. Still gets changed slightly each time I sing it, but thats artistic licence :D